Wish You Were Dead

see that she was panting for breath. “You scared … the crap out of me.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“What … are you doing? Why … were you following me?”

“I came to school to find out why you weren’t answering my texts.”

Courtney kept panting. “Why weren’t … you in school today?”

“Mom saw Lucy’s dad on TV this morning offering a reward for her return. It freaked her out. I mean, the whole idea that Lucy might have been kidnapped. She wanted me to stay home.”

Courtney nodded and straightened up. She breathed deeply and ran her fingers through her long black hair.

“Who were you going to meet?” I asked.

“No one.”

“A few moments ago you were checking your makeup in your mirror,” I said.

“A few moments ago I was looking in my mirror to figure out who was following me. For God’s sake, Madison, you totally scared the crap out of me.”

“Yes, you already told me that.”

We stared at each other. It felt like we’d reached a stalemate. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?” I asked.

Courtney looked around. “How’d you get here?”

“My car. It’s parked back on Rosewood.”

“Give me a ride to Starbucks?” she asked.

“Aren’t you going somewhere?”

“I just want some coffee.”

“When did it start?” I asked twenty minutes later as we sat at a small table inside Starbucks. Courtney had just admitted to me that she’d been seeing Adam on the down low. Based on the way she’d been acting, I should have guessed, but I hadn’t. In fact, I was totally blown away. Courtney propped her elbows on the table and cupped the double latte I’d bought her in both hands, as if using it to warm them.

“Junior prom.”

I stared at her in astonishment. “Last year?”

“Shhhhh!” She hushed me and her eyes darted left and right at the other kids sitting around tables and at the counter. “It’s been on and off.”

“But why?”

“Why has it been on and off? Or why did I do it?”

“The latter.”

Courtney raised and dropped her shoulders. “He’s a studmuffin.” As if it was that simple. As if Adam wasn’t Lucy’s boyfriend. As if this wasn’t about the most scandalous thing I’d ever known her to do.

“There are lots of other muffins,” I said. “I think you’ll have to do better than that.”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Why do you care?”

“For one thing, I thought we were friends. I thought we told each other everything.”

Courtney sipped the latte and licked some foam off her upper lip. “You used to be best friends with Lucy.”

Now I understood. “You thought I’d tell her?”

“I don’t know. You’re also friends with Adam. It was complicated. And he doesn’t want anyone to know, either.”

“If he likes you, why didn’t he just break up with her?”

“He was going to. I think that’s what that fight on Saturday night was about. But you know Lucy. It wasn’t like she’d just let him dump her without making a huge stink.”

Then there was indeed a reason why Lucy might have decided to run away, or do something else that people would think of as extreme. “Do the Cunninghams know that it wasn’t just a fight? That Adam was planning to actually break up with Lucy?”

Courtney frowned. “How would I know?”

Suddenly I realized something. “I have to talk to Adam.”

“Why?”

“Because Lucy is the most competitive person I know. Adam breaking up with her is exactly the kind of thing that could make her snap. The Cunninghams have to be told about this.”

“Do they have to know that I was involved?” Courtney asked.

I thought for a moment. “No. I don’t think so.” I started to get up.

“Where are you going?” Courtney asked.

“I told you. I have to speak to Adam.”

“So call him.”

“No, Courts, this is something I have to do in person. Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

She heaved a big sigh, as if she thought I was making more out of it than necessary. But I was certain she was wrong.

“So,” I said a few moments later in the car. “Back to my original question. Why Adam?”

Courtney gazed out the side window and didn’t answer. I had a feeling she was fed up with me. If my intention back at Starbucks had been to patch things up, I’d done a really bad job. Now I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I just knew I didn’t want to leave everything unresolved. We were getting close to her house, and I pulled off to the side of the road.

“What are you doing?” Courtney asked, sounding very annoyed.

“Waiting for an answer.”

“I thought you were in a big rush to go see Adam.”

“Is it really going to take that long to tell me?”

Once again Courtney rolled her eyes as if I’d just taken her to a new height in exasperation. “What is your problem?”

“Look, I can understand why you didn’t want to tell me about Adam before. But now that I know, why can’t you say why? I mean, if you were just looking to hook up, there are plenty of other studmuffins you could have chosen.”

Courtney stared at me. “Ohmygod! Are you jealous?”

“No. I’m just … I don’t know. Maybe I feel protective of him. We’ve been friends for so long.”

“You don’t own him.”

“I think I’m aware of that,” I said. “And he and you and everyone else is free to do whatever they want. But seriously, Courts? Why Adam?”

My friend rapped her deep-purple nails against the Starbucks cup that she’d brought into the car with her. Suddenly she reached for the door handle and yanked. The next thing I knew, she grabbed her bag from the back and got out. “Thanks for the ride and the coffee. I can walk the rest of the way from here.”

chapter 9

Wednesday 3:31 P.M.

Oh, dear, Lucy, look at you, huddled in the corner with your arms around your knees. You are looking awfully gaunt and dirty. You do look thinner. It’s so sad. Lack of water and food will wreck havoc on your beautiful figure. Oh, Lucy, just imagine yourself without your perfect figure. What a tragedy it would be to look just like the rest of us.

Are you shivering? Well, it has gotten colder, hasn’t it? And all this rain. What’s this? Look at your arms and legs. Scratching yourself until you’re bloody? How odd. Was that something your medications were supposed to prevent? Or are you just trying to show us that you’re repenting? Repent all you want, my dear. We’re sorry, but it