could actually see his old cock stiffening again in his trousers.
'That is the kind of book to warm up your blood,' said Polly. 'You seem to relish that kind of literature, my lord?'
'Humph! Awfully disgusting! How such ideas could be evoked from the human brain I can't understand — it's ruin to body and soul to read such suggestive filth!'
'There's no filth in the Bible you pretend to love so, is there?' asked Polly. 'But how about Lot, Abraham, David and Bathsheba, Rachel, or Tamar, who played the harlot with Judah, Solomon and all his wives — besides, you know as well as I do, bawdy books don't drive religious people mad, or out of their minds in any way; used properly they act as a stimulant to the natural pleasures of love!'
Here she gave a quiet double ring, and a very young girl, hardly yet twelve years of age, presently entered as naked as she was born (not even yet fledged on her fanny) carrying a bottle of fizz and glasses on a tray.
'Oh! Satan! God help me! Not a drop, let me get out of this den of temptation. I'll write a cheque for the?20 — do let me go!' as he noticed quite a stern smile on Polly's face.
'Another insult, my lord — call Saunders and Ruth,' said Polly, turning to the girl — 'they will know what is wanted.'
Earl Goodman fairly shook with fear, and trembled with fright as the cook and housemaid, entering their mistress's apartment, seized him like a child, and tearing down his trousers regularly spread-eagled him on a sofa.
'What are you going to do? Oh! heavens, she's going to birch me.'
'That I am, and two gentlemen will see it all from behind a screen. When your impudent backside has smarted enough I will accept your apologies and the cheque — but not for a paltry?20, mind — I don't birch an Earl for less than half-ahundred.'
He whined and begged for mercy, fairly screaming every now and then as the twigs cut into his tough skinny buttocks.
Polly was too clever, and enjoyed her profitable joke so much that she fairly wealed his rump, till the small drops of blood stood like beads on the broken skin; one of the girls was frigging him all the time till he spent under the extraordinary excitements he was so unused to.
At length Polly made him kneel in front of her, kiss the worn-out rod, and promise never to offend a lady again by offering objectionable tracts, and also to call and see her now and then on the quiet.
'My balance is awfully low; the late May meetings at Exeter Hall have quite drained my resources, and rents are so difficult to get in,' he almost groaned, as taking out her desk she made him write a cheque on a blank sheet of note paper with a penny stamp.
'Thanks,' said Polly, 'I'll take a cab and cash it as soon as you're gone.'
'Oh! pray don't go for it yourself, you might be known; send in some friend to the bank whilst you wait outside.
Didn't you observe that I filled it up as if for the 'Midnight Missions,' as a blind?'
'Well,' said Polly, with a smile, 'you are a dear good old man in your way, and I will humour you about that, but I must say you have made a miserable use of a long life with good health never to have enjoyed as you ought to have done the pleasures of love — you shall have such a taste of it now as I am sure will bring you back here before long.'
'You said your resources were drained, my little girl shall see what she can do for you. He's in his second childhood, Sissey, so give him some titty, whilst Ruth gamahuches him into a rise.'
His lordship had arranged his clothes before writing the cheque, but made no resistance to Ruth and Sissey as they drew off his trousers, vest, amp;c, till he was left in his shirt and stockings.
Sissey was quite naked, so she reclined on the sofa, and, taking his head in her arms, presented to his eager mouth one of her lovely small round plump bubbies, the firm strawberry nipple of which was indeed a morsel to tempt a hermit. She made him raise his shirt, amp;c, so that her warm belly pressed against his hairy bosom as he lay between her legs which were amorously entwined round his body.
This position left her bottom a little above his cock, which Ruth, kneeling down by the side of the sofa, took in her mouth, and titillated with the tip of her lascivious tongue.
This lascivious attack on his virtue overcame him at once, so yielding himself up to the excitement he could not avoid, one of his hands clasped and pressed the young, firm, warm flesh of Sissey's bum, or groped a finger into her hairless slit, whilst the other pressed and stroked the head of pretty Ruth, as she was giving him such exquisite pleasure with her tongue; how he sucked at Sissey's bosom, his mouth watering, and his p — k gradually swelling till in a few minutes it rose a perfect monster to what it had looked before, and Ruth showed it in triumph to her mistress as she continued to softly frig it with her hand, whilst her tongue continued to titillate the entrance to the urethra.
'Don't you think its too big for Sissey, shall I let him have me?' asked Ruth of Polly, evidently longing to enjoy the fruits of her labours.
'No,' said her mistress, 'place it to her crack, she'll manage it, then take my ivory dildoe out of the warm water, and f- k yourself with it, as you sit in front of his face,'
No sooner did Ruth present the head of his machine to Sissey's crack than the lecherous little whore slipped herself down upon it, and assisted by his lordship's eager fingers succeeded in wriggling it all into herself, as she managed to slip under him and get him fairly on top in the orthodox position.
The old man was fairly carried away by his lustful feelings, and aided by the sight of Ruth working the ivory dildoe in front of him, and Polly's hands behind, as they handled his buttocks and postillioned his fundament- he groaned with pleasureable anguish, he had never been in such a tight little c-t before, or felt such warm nippings on his pego, which seemed to grow larger and larger every moment, as it grew under the watering of Sissey's spendings.
It was too much for the old man when the final crisis came on him once more, he fainted from the excess of his enjoy244 ment, and it almost took them all they knew to bring him round.
As a finish to this tale of Miss Polly's amours, it may be said that Earl Goodman, although very careful to preserve his reputation, often called to give her a cheque for the 'Midnight Mission,' and she actually got a little spooney on his grand old p — k, which she said was such a delightful f- k when once fairly got in working order.
ON A LADY'S WEDDING ON THE 21ST OF DECEMBER
Return'd from the Op'ra, as lately I sat, IndifFrently chatting of this thing and that, My Lady I ask'd, how it enter'd her head, To fix on St. Thomas', of all days, to wed?
To which she replied, with reason the strongest, 'Tho' shortest the day is — the night, sir, is longest!'
THE DOCTORS
You maidens, and wives, and young widows rejoice, Declare your thanksgiving with heart and with voice;
Since waters were waters, I boldly dare say, There ne'er was such cause for a thanksgiving day;
For from London town,
Are lately come down,
Four able physicians that never wore gown:
Their physic is pleasant, their dose it is large, And you may be cur'd without danger or charge.
No bolus or vomit, no potion or pill,
Which sometimes do cure, but oft'ner do kill,
Your taste or your stomach need never displease, If you'll be advised but by one of these;
They have a new drug,
