'Leave that. I'll do it in the morning.' His lips touched the back of her neck. 'Come to bed.'
Oh, God, not again . 'I'm tired,' she said. 'Let's give it a miss tonight, shall we?'
He laughed. 'No way. I want you. Come on, darling; I'm not taking no for an answer.'
You never do, do you ? Penny pulled a face that he couldn't see, and sighed. No point in arguing; she would waste more time and energy that way than by giving him what he wanted, yet again. She pulled off her rubber gloves, dumped them on the draining board and went with him up the stairs.
David always fell soundly asleep after sex, and when she was certain of not disturbing him Penny got up and went into the bathroom. Switching on the small vanity light she faced her reflection in the mirror above the washbasin. On first impression she was pretty good for forty-three, but she wasn't in a mood to be optimistic, and she studied herself more closely and critically. Proto-crow's feet at the borders of her eyes. Lines developing at the corners of her mouth. Chin starting to sag; barely noticeable yet but she could see it. She wasn't a natural blonde, so couldn't tell if there were any traces of grey in her hair yet. Grey was distinguishing in a man, ageing in a woman. Carmine wasn't grey, was she?
Carmine could have his child. I can't.
It wasn't that she wanted children. Never had, really; she wasn't the maternal type. But the principle of the thing was different, and the thought that Carmine and David were capable of doing what she and David weren't made her very, very angry. It also led, quite naturally from the perspective of this dissatisfied moment, to the conclusion that if they could , they just might . That tonight, she had possibly witnessed the opening gambits of a sexual affair. Or even if she hadn't, that the potential was there.
Potential — or inevitability? Penny leaned closer still to the mirror, dissecting her image now. Even if lines and grey hair weren't yet worth worrying about, that would change soon enough. Think forward three years; five; ten . In ten years she would be fifty-three. In fifteen, sixty would be looming on her horizon, but David would still be exactly as he was tonight: youthful, energetic, handsome. What would he want with a sixty-year-old wife? She would be a turn-off, an embarrassment, and that would be the end of it, marriage over, goodbye.
David was no fool; he must have considered the long-term future. Maybe he had even discussed it with Carmine, in some private conversation that Penny knew nothing about? Penny's stomach churned at the thought of him talking to Carmine, possibly meeting Carmine, when she was not present to play chaperone. Or gooseberry. Remember how he kept looking at her tonight. Are they already having an affair ? Are they ?
Suddenly she felt tainted, and with the feeling came an overwhelming urge to walk back into the bedroom, shake David forcibly awake and confront him with her suspicions. Or to go to the phone, key Carmine's number and demand the truth from her. Yes: that was the better option. Because if there was an affair David would lie about it, and she was too vulnerable to his charm not to be taken in. If Carmine lied, Penny would not be fooled. Yes. The better option. In the morning, when David had left for work, she would do it.
Penny did not make the planned phone call. For by morning, she had thought of a new idea; so radical that at first it shocked her and she mentally hid from it, finding a hundred reasons why it was utterly out of the question. Through the first half of the day, though, the reasons seemed somehow to break down of their own accord, until by mid-afternoon they were gone, leaving in their place the same kind of queasy, heart-racing excitement that young children feel on the night before Christmas when nothing can persuade them to sleep.
With an hour to go before David came home, she summoned the courage to ring Carmine.
Carmine said, 'No. I'm sorry, Penny, but I just won't do it.' With her world collapsing around her Penny screamed down the phone. 'Why not , damn you? You were eager enough to do it for David; what's the bloody difference all of a sudden?' She sucked in a huge, painful breath. 'I know it's all business to you, but I can find the money, I'll'
'Penny, listen to me! Have you talked to David about this?'
'No, I haven't!'
'Then I think you should. And I also think I know what he'll say.'
Penny saw red. 'David's not my bloody owner — I make my own decisions! And how the hell would you know what he'd say? Telepathic, are you? Or are you so cosy with my husband these days that you know him better than I do?'
'I'm not saying that. I'm only saying'
' What are you saying? Tell me the truth, for once!'
'I'm trying to. The circumstances aren't the same , Penny. David was terminally ill, and what I did for him was the only alternative to death. It isn't like that with you. You're healthy and with a long, normal life ahead of you. It isn't — it wouldn't be right to turn you into'
'But I want it!' Then with a great effort Penny brought herself under control. Keep your temper. Reason with her . 'Look. I've thought it through, I have no doubts, and I can get the money. Don't you want another ten thousand?'
Carmine gave a strange little laugh. 'Money doesn't come into it. You could offer me half a million and I'd turn it down. The plain fact is, I will not do this for any living soul unless there is a very, very good reason indeed.'
'And my reason isn't good enough.'
'No. Frankly, it isn't.'
'I see. So you're happy to give David your gift, but you won't consider giving it to me.'
'It isn't like that, Penny.'
'No, I'm sure it isn't.' Then something dawned, and Penny wondered why on earth she hadn't thought of it before. 'Well, I won't bother you again, then. I'll ask my husband to do it for me instead. He is my husband, after all. Which is something you seem to conveniently forget when it suits you.'
There was a sharp pause. 'What's that supposed to mean?'
'Work it out, Carmine. You're intelligent enough.' Penny was completely calm now. Yes, David can do it. Fool I am: I needn't even have made this call . Coolly, she added, 'I won't take up any more of your time. Oh, one last thing. You're not welcome in this house from now on.'
