sexual attraction of a more profound sort than he was used to… Which was typically nothing but the urge to come just so his body was less likely to flip out on him.
He thought about the females he'd had. There had been countless numbers of them, all nameless, faceless bodies he'd released into, not one of them a source of real pleasure for him. He'd touched them and kissed them only because unless they got off too, he felt like a total user.
Shit, he felt like a user anyway. He
So even if he hadn't been thrown by the buzz from kissing Mary, he still would have left her in that parking lot. With her lovely voice and her warrior eyes and her trembling mouth, Mary could not be just another screw. Taking her, even if she was willing, seemed like a violation of something pure. Something better than he was.
His cell phone rang and he took it out of his pocket. As he checked caller ID, he cursed, but answered the thing anyway. 'Hey, Tohr. I was going to call you.'
'I just saw your car peel out of here. Are you meeting the human female now?'
'I already did.'
'That was quick. She must have treated you right.'
Rhage ground his teeth. For once he had no quick comeback. 'I talked to her about the kid. We've got no problem there. She likes him, she feels badly for him, but if he disappeared, she wouldn't cause a problem. She only met him recently.'
'Good job, Hollywood. So where you headed now?'
'Just driving.'
Tohr's voice softened. 'You hate not being able to fight, don't you?'
'Wouldn't you?
'Of course, but don't worry, tomorrow night will come soon enough, and you'll be back in action. In the meantime, you could work off a little more of that sauce of yours at One Eye.' Tohr chuckled. 'By the way, I heard about the sisters you did two nights ago, one right after another. Man, you're amazing, you know that?'
'Yeah, Tohr, can I ask you a favor?'
'Anything, my brother.'
'Could you not… ride me about the females?' Rhage took a deep breath. 'Because the truth is, I hate it, I really do.'
He meant to stop there, but suddenly the words were coming out and he couldn't shut up.
'I hate the anonymity of it. I hate the way my chest aches afterward. I hate the smells on my body and in my hair when I get home. But most of all, I hate the fact that I'm going to have to do it again because if I don't, I could end up hurting one of you guys or some innocent bystander,' He exhaled through his mouth. 'And those two sisters you're so impressed with? See, here's the thing. I only pick the ones who don't give a shit who they're with, because otherwise it's not fair. Those two bar chippies checked out my watch and my roll and figured I was a pimp trophy. The fucking was about as intimate as a car accident And tonight? You're going home to Wellsie. I'm going home alone. Just like I did yesterday. Just like I'm going to do the day after. The whoring isn't fun for me, and it's been killing me for years, so please give it a rest, dig?'
There was a long silence. 'Jesus… I'm sorry. I didn't know. I had no idea—'
'Yeah, ah…' He really needed to stop this conversation. 'Look, I gotta go. I gotta… go. Later.'
'No, wait, Rhage—'
Rhage turned his phone off and pulled over to the side of the road. As he looked around, he realized he was out in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but the forest for company. He put his head down on the steering wheel.
Visions of Mary came to him. And he realized he'd neglected to scrub her memories.
Neglected?
CHAPTER 14
Mary flopped over in bed and pushed the covers and blankets off with her feet. Half-asleep, she splayed her legs out to try to cool down.
Damn it, had she left the thermostat on too high—
Horrible suspicion shot her into consciousness, her mind coming to attention on a wave of dread.
Low-grade fever. She had a low-grade fever.
Reaching overhead, she cracked open the window behind her bed. Cold air took the invitation to heart and rushed inside, cooling her, calming her. The fever broke soon afterward, a sheen of sweat announcing its retreat.
Maybe she was just coming down with a cold. People with her medical history did get normal sicknesses like the rest of the world. Really.
Except either way, rhinovirus or recurrence, there'd be no going back to sleep. She pulled a fleece on over her T-shirt and boxers and went downstairs. On her way to the kitchen, she turned on every light switch she passed until all the dark corners in the house were illuminated.
Destination: her coffeepot. There was no question that answering some office e-mail and getting ready for the break of the Columbus Day long weekend was better than lying in bed and counting the time before her doctor's appointment.
Which was in five and a half hours, by the way.
God, she hated the waiting.
She filled the Krups machine with water and went into the cupboard for the coffee can. It was nearly empty, so she took out her backup supply and the handheld can opener and—
She was not alone.
Mary leaned forward, looking out the window above the sink. With no exterior lights on she couldn't see anything, so she went around to the slider and flipped the switch next to the door.
A massive black shape was on the other side of the glass.
Mary scrambled for the phone, but stopped when she saw the flash of blond hair.
Hal lifted his hand in greeting.
'Hey.' His voice was muffled through the glass.
Mary wrapped her arms around her stomach. 'What are you doing here?'
His wide shoulders shrugged. 'Wanted to see you.'
'Why? And why now?
Another shrug. 'Seemed like a good idea.'
'Are you deranged?'
'Yes.'
She almost smiled. And then reminded herself that she had no close neighbors and he was practically the size of her house.
'How did you find me?' Maybe Bella had told him where she lived.
'Can I come in? Or maybe you could come out, if you'd feel more comfortable that way?'
'Hal, it's four thirty in the morning.'
'I know. But you're awake and so am I.'
God, he was so big in all that black leather, and with his face mostly in shadow he was more menacing than beautiful.
And she was actually considering opening the door? Clearly she was also deranged.
'Look, Hal, I don't think it's a good idea.'