Lover Awakened

in a position where he got this upset when he was around her.

'We're not going there again,' he said. 'That shit's not happening.'

'You liked it.' Her voice was soft but strong. 'I could feel your blood race under my hands.'

'No arguments.'

'Your body's hard for me.'

'Do you want to get hurt?' As she tightened her hold on a pillow, he pressed harder. 'Because, straight up, sex and I only go one way, and it's nothing you want to be a part of.'

'I liked the way you kissed me. I want to lay with you. Make love with you.'

'Make love? Make love?' He spread his arms out. 'Bella… all I've got to offer you is fucking. You won't like it, and frankly I won't like doing it to you. You're so much better than that.'

'I felt your lips on mine. They were gentle—'

'Oh, please—'

'Shut up and let me finish!'

Z's mouth dropped open, sure as if she'd booted him in the ass. No one ever took that tone of voice with him. The anomaly alone would have gotten his attention, but the fact that it was her stunned him out.

Bella pushed her hair over her shoulder. 'If you don't want to be with me, fine. Just say so. But don't hide behind wanting to protect me. You think I don't know the sex would be rough with you?'

'Is that why you want it?' he asked in a dead voice. 'You think you only deserve to be hurt now, after the lesser?'

She frowned. 'Not at all. But if that's the only way I can have you, then that's how I'll take you.'

He ran his hand back and forth over his skull trim, hoping the friction might get his brain to work.

'I think you're confused.' He looked down at the floor. 'You have no idea what you're saying right now.'

'You arrogant bastard,' she snapped.

Z's head shot up. Well, that was slap in the ass number two… 'Excuse me?'

'Do us both a favor and don't try to think for me, okay? Because you're going to get it wrong every damn time.' With that, she marched into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Zsadist blinked a couple of times. What the hell just happened?

He looked around the room as if the furniture or maybe the drapes could help him out. Then his acute hearing tuned in to a quiet sound. She was… crying.

With a curse he went over to the bathroom. He didn't knock, just turned the knob and went inside. She was standing next to the shower, arms crossed, tears pooling in her sapphire eyes.

Oh… God. What was a male supposed to do in this situation?

'I'm sorry,' he muttered. 'If I… uh, hurt your feelings or something.'

She glared at him. 'I'm not hurt. I'm pissed off and sexually frustrated.'

His head snapped back on his spine. Well… then. Okaaaaay.

Man, he was going to need a neck brace after this conversation.

'I'll say it again, Zsadist. If you're not into laying with me, that's okay, but do not try to tell me I don't know what I want.'

Z planted his palms on his hip bones and looked down at the marble tile. Don't say a thing, asshole. Just keep your mouth—

'It's not that,' he blurted. As the words floated out into the air, he cursed himself. Talking was bad. Talking was a real piss-poor idea…

'It's not what? You mean you want me?'

He thought of the it that was still trying to claw a way out of his pants. She had eyes. She could see the damn thing. 'You know I do.'

'So if I'm willing to take it… hard…' She paused, and he had a feeling she was blushing. 'Then why can't we be together?'

His breath shortened until his lungs burned and his heart pounded. He felt as if he were looking over the edge of a ravine. Good Lord, he wasn't actually going to tell her? Was he?

His stomach rolled as the words came out. 'She was always on top. The Mistress. When she… came to me, she was always on top. You, uh, you rolled over onto my chest and… yeah, that doesn't work for me.'

He rubbed his face, as much to try to hide from her as to relieve the headache he suddenly had.

He heard breath being exhaled. Realized it was hers.

'Zsadist, I'm so sorry. I didn't know—'

'Yeah… fuck… maybe you can forget I said that.' God, he needed to get away from her before that mouth of his got flapping again. 'Look, I'm going to—'

'What did she do to you?' Bella's voice was thin as a hair.

He shot her a hard look. Oh, not likely, he thought.

She took a step toward him. 'Zsadist, did she… have you against your will?'

He turned away. 'I'm going to the gym. I'll see you later.'

'Wait—'

'Later, Bella. I can't… do this.'

On his way out, he grabbed his Nikes and his MP3 player.

A good, long run was just what he needed right now. A long… run. So what if it got him exactly nowhere. At least he could have the sweaty illusion he was getting away from himself.

CHAPTER 21

Phury looked across the mansion's pool table with disgust while Butch measured his shot. Something was off with the human, but as the cop sank three balls with one cue stroke, it sure as hell wasn't his game.

'Jesus, Butch. Four wins in a row. Remind me why I bother playing with you?'

'Because hope springs eternal.' Butch tossed back the tail end of his Scotch. 'You want another game?'

'Why not. My odds can't get worse.'

'You rack while I get a refill.'

As Phury collected the balls from the pockets, he realized what the problem was. Every time he turned away, Butch got to staring at him.

'You have something on your mind, cop?'

The male poured himself a couple of fingers of Lagavulin, then took a long drink from his glass. 'Not particularly.'

'Liar. You've been giving me the hairy eyeball since we got back from ZeroSum. Why don't you get real and spill it.'

Butch's hazel eyes met his glare head-on. 'You gay, my man?'

Phury dropped the eight ball and dimly heard it bouncing on the marble floor. 'What? Why would you—'

'I heard you were getting close with the Reverend.' As Phury cursed, Butch picked up the black ball and sent it rolling back over the green felt. 'Look, I'm cool if you are. I honestly don't give a rat's ass who you're into. But I would like to know.'

Oh, this is just great, Phury thought. Not only was he pining after the female who wanted his twin; now he was supposedly dating a frickin' symphath.

That female who'd walked in on him and the Reverend clearly had a big mouth and… Christ. Butch must have already told Vishous. The two were like an old mated couple, no secrets between them. And V would squeal to Rhage. And once Rhage knew, you might as well have popped the news flash on the Reuters wire.

'Phury?'

'No, I'm not gay.'

'Don't feel like you need to hide it or anything.'

'I wouldn't. I'm just not.'