Envy

the sound of it competing over who had more Phish bootlegs. A cluster of super-skinny bottle blondes-Miranda didn’t recognize them, so figured they must be freshmen-hogged most of the mirror area, reapplying their hairspray and shimmery lipstick. From the short skirts to the perfect manicures to the cocky tilt of their heads Miranda could tell they were jockeying for a place in the line of succession, ready to fill the power vacuum once Harper had graduated. Cosmo clones, Miranda thought disdainfully. They could look the part all they wanted, but they’d never have that spark, that something special Harper had that made people want to follow her to the ends of the earth (or at least to the end of good judgment). Harper was a leader. These girls-it was obvious-were sheep.

And yet…

And yet, she thought, looking from one perfectly sculpted and outfitted body to the next, wasn’t this exactly the look she was craving?

Long, silky smooth hair that could bounce and blow in the wind-Miranda’s hair was brittle, thin, and impossibly flat. Flawless complexions-Miranda had zits and freckles. Long, slim, tanned legs-Miranda’s thunder thighs were albino pale.

The girls bustled out of the bathroom, chattering about who had hooked up that weekend and who was feeling fat. Big surprise-unanimous responses to both.

Miranda sighed and considered trying to score some pot off the stoners in the corner, anything to calm the rising tide of anxiety she suddenly felt at the daunting prospect of finding a way to turn herself into that. Not that she wanted to be vapid, of course. But beautiful? Stylish? Skinny? The kind of girl who screams “high maintenance” but which, it seemed, was all any worthwhile guy wanted?

Yes, please.

Haven High was a small school. Claustrophobically small, it sometimes seemed to Adam. But he’d done a decent job so far of avoiding Kaia. He hadn’t spoken to her, in fact, since their last encounter. He still shuddered at the thought of it-the intense, mind-blowing sex in an abandoned motel, followed almost immediately by an utterly humiliating blow-off. What a loser he’d been. He saw that now. It was too late, of course-he’d done it, this huge, horrible thing that weighed on him, crushed him, and yet still flickered through his fantasies, taunting him with what he couldn’t have yet still, in some deep part of him, wanted.

Beth had wondered why he suddenly stopped following Kaia around and inviting her out with the group, but she had no fond feelings for Kaia herself, so hadn’t wondered very long or very loudly. And maybe she didn’t want to know.

Still, it was a small school, and he’d been bound to bump into Kaia eventually. He just hadn’t counted on a literal collision.

“Oh, sorry!” he exclaimed, after spinning away from his locker and slamming into someone rushing past him down the hall. Then-“Oh, it’s you.” Suddenly, the split-second collision became, in his mind, an embrace, as if he could still feel the ghostly touch of his body pressing against hers, their hands and chests and hips awkwardly rubbing against each other, her silky hair whipping across his face.

“And it’s you, too,” she pointed out. “Where’ve you been, stranger?”

“Far away from you, which I thought was how you wanted it.” Her words to him at their last meeting echoed through his head. And the mocking laughter.

“Oh, Adam, I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.” She placed a soft hand on his chest-he pushed it away. “I don’t know what I’d do if I thought you hated me!”

“Give it up, Kaia,” he said harshly. “I’m not falling for your crap again. Find someone new to screw over.”

Kaia rolled her eyes. “Oh, right,” she scoffed. “You’re such the wounded victim, used and abused, right? You didn’t seem to mind the screwing part so much.”

“Shut up,” he hissed, suddenly aware of the students swarming around them. Watching. Listening? “I thought we agreed you weren’t going to tell anyone about that.”

“Oh, calm down. My lips are sealed. Why would I do anything to get between you and your precious Beth?”

“I appreciate that, Kaia.” He tried to ignore the disdainful edge to her voice. Kaia, he’d decided, was like a venomous snake-you just had to be very careful, stay very still, and wait her out until she got bored and went away.

“Of course,” she added, smirking, “maybe I’m not the one you need to worry about.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, against his better judgment.

“I saw your blushing rose getting cozy in the coffee shop with your supposed best friend the other day. Just thought you’d want to know.”

“Old news,” he said, affecting nonchalance. Ignoring the taste of bile. “She’s tutoring him for the SATs. I know all about it. And it’s completely innocent.” And this he believed wholeheartedly, he told himself. He had to, right?

“So I heard. Such a sweet girl, to commit her time to helping him, when she’s oh so busy. But totally innocent, of course,” she assured him, voice dripping with false sincerity. “I’m sure you’re right. Just another platonic extracurricular, like any other: yearbook, newspaper, party planning…”

She narrowed her gaze suggestively and Adam felt the tips of his ears turn red. It was, after all, planning a party that had brought Adam and Kaia together in the first place. A few weeks’ worth of purely platonic meetings culminating in one night of illicit but extraordinary passion.

“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about, though,” she said after a moment of silence. “I mean, you’re in love, right? And that’s what love is all about-trust.”

Trust. Right.

If Beth’s love for him proved as trustworthy as his love for her, they were in for some serious problems.

Job well done, Kaia congratulated herself. Adam had, of course, walked away from her in disgust, but she could see the beginnings of doubt in the nervous twist of his lip and the tiny rivulets of sweat that traced a path down the muscles of his neck. She’d gotten under his skin-again.

Kaia laughed to herself. It probably wasn’t very nice of her to pick on Adam again. After all, he was such an easy mark, and clearly still smarting from their last encounter. On the other hand, she considered, she’d given him a true gift-one that he’d certainly enjoyed enough at the time, no matter how much he may now claim she’d ruined his life. Didn’t she deserve to have some fun too? And if it was fun at Beth Manning’s expense, even better. Much as she tried, she couldn’t forget the fact that Mr. Powell had chosen that simpering softie over her. Yes, it was clearly because he thought Kaia spelled trouble, while Beth would be easy prey. Powell was a predator; it was why she liked him so much. But still, there it was-he’d rejected her in favor of Beth, and while that was a lapse in judgment she was willing to forgive, Beth still needed to pay.

This time, she’d decided, there was no reason to go it alone. Not when such a good game was already afoot.

So she headed to the library. She’d spotted Harper heading in that direction at the beginning of lunch period, and she had a sneaking suspicion she’d find her huddled over a desk with Kane, hatching some pathetic plan. It was time to lend these small-town tricksters the wisdom of her experience.

Why?

Why the hell not?

She found them just as she’d imagined, heads together, arms waving animatedly, whispers flying. She crept up slowly behind Harper, finger to her lips, trusting Kane to keep his poker face, which he did, right up to the moment that Kaia tapped Harper on the shoulder and smiled angelically into her face, which reflected, in quick succession, surprise, guilt, and disgust. Harper settled on the latter, but Kaia kept up her icy smile.

“What do you want?” Harper hissed. “We re busy here.”

“I don’t mind if the lovely Kaia joins us,” Kane said generously.

“Shut up, Kane.” Harper glared at him, then turned back to Kaia. “Why are you still here?”

“What, is this where you tell me, ‘This is an A, B conversation, and I should C my way out of it?’” Kaia sneered.

“I was leaning more toward, ’This is an X, Z conversation, so Y don’t you just go away,” Harper corrected her. “Or at least I would have been if this were 1998 and we were ten years old. What do you think this is,