Envy

“Better sitting at home eating shitty pizza than running around town delivering it like a servant on wheels,” she pointed out, trying not to watch the way his body moved beneath his tight black T- shirt.

“Dude, at least I get paid,” he countered. “If you think about it, you’re kind of paying me to hang out with you.” He snorted and shook his head, as if pitying her. “I can think of better ways to spend my money.”

“You know what? Me too.” She snatched back the couple dollar bills she’d given him for a tip and slammed the door in his face.

“And then he asked you out?” In her excitement, Harper almost dropped the phone. She flopped back onto her bed and kicked her legs in the air in triumph. This could be just the loophole she was looking for.

“He gave me his phone number,” Miranda clarified. “It’s not the same thing.”

Details, details. “Okay, but he basically asked you out. Excellent.”

“Um, were you not paying attention when I described what an annoying loser he was?” Miranda asked. “And did you miss the part where he dumped a bucket of water on my head?”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Harper teased her. “Besides, that was just his way of flirting. Maybe he’s a little shy and awkward. I think it’s adorable.”

“Since when do you find shy and awkward adorable?”

Harper’s mind was racing. Sure, now she was betraying Miranda by helping Kane get another girl-if you wanted to look at it that way. But as Harper saw things, Kane had made it painfully clear that he wasn’t interested. Just because she’d sworn a solemn oath to Miranda that she’d do everything she could to make it happen… well, what was she? A magician? It’s not like she had any power over what Kane wanted.

The problem was just that Miranda might not see it that way. So if Miranda found some other guy to lust over in the meantime, someone who actually wanted her in return, and she got swept up in some torrid new romance? Well, she’d stop feeling so shitty about the Kane thing and Harper could stop feeling so guilty.

Problem solved.

“I say you go for it,” Harper urged. “How long has it been since you’ve gone out on a date?”

“Can I plead the fifth?”

“Miranda,” she said warningly.

Miranda sighed. “Okay, okay, too long.”

“And why is that?”

“I don’t know-because I’m fat? Because I have frizzy hair that now looks vaguely like seaweed? Because I’m so short that a guy has to fall over me before he notices I exist?”

“Shut up, loser,” Harper snorted. “You know none of those things are true. Plenty of guys ask you out.”

“Sucky guys.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about-you’re too picky. They can’t all suck.”

“Oh, trust me-”

“No, I don’t trust you. You’ve got these impossibly high standards that no guy could ever measure up to and then you complain about being alone. I’m tired of it.”

“So I’m supposed to have no standards?” Miranda asked.

“No, you’re just supposed to be realistic. To take a chance once in a while on someone who’s not one hundred percent perfect.”

“I don’t think Kane’s perfect-”

Harper rolled her eyes, glad Miranda couldn’t see her through the phone. This was getting pathetic.

“Great. So there’s one guy in all these years who measures up. You think maybe it’s time to branch out a little?”

“Why are you yelling at me?” Miranda asked in a small voice.

“I’m sorry.” Harper took a deep breath. “I’m not yelling. I just want you to be happy, Rand. So what if this guy’s not the one? So what if he’s not as hot or as charming as the Great and Powerful Kane? You don’t have to marry him-just go out with him a couple times. Think of it as practice. And who knows,” she continued, hating herself for it, “maybe you’ll even make Kane jealous. You know guys always want what they can’t have.” She knew that was one idea Miranda would find impossible to resist.

“Okay… you got me. I’ll do it. I’ll call Greg and ask him to dinner.”

“Fabulous.” Harper grinned and looked out her window toward Adam’s bedroom. She wondered what he was thinking about right now. Probably Beth. But even that wasn’t enough to deflate her mood. “Good luck, not that you need it.”

Miranda sighed.

“Thanks for the reality check, Harper. You’re the best.”

Harper hung up the phone and gave herself a mental pat on the back for a job extremely well done. Miranda would be distracted (and, as an added bonus, maybe even happy), leaving Harper free and clear to pursue her own agenda. Guilt free.

Was Harper the best?

Damn right.

Beth slammed her hand on the dining room table as another paper airplane whizzed past her head.

“Adam, give it a rest, I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Okay, okay.” He bent down over his book again and there was a moment of blessed silence. But then, just when Beth had almost wrapped her head around the variables in a monstrously complicated word problem, a tiny ball of paper flew onto her book. When she looked up in irritation, another one hit her squarely in the forehead.

“Jesus, Adam, what are you, twelve years old?”

“What? I’m just trying to have some fun. You can’t tell me you’re not bored out of your mind.”

“That’s not the point,” she snapped. “The SATs are in less than two weeks, and I need to get through this. I thought you did too-isn’t that what you said?”

Actually, Adam had called to report his latest swimming victory, suggesting they go out on the town to celebrate. It was a huge moment for him-the swim team was going to the regional championships for the first time in a decade, and it was all thanks to Adam. Beth would have liked nothing more than to spend the night celebrating, to enjoy the fact that she was in love with such an amazing guy. But… she just didn’t have the time. She’d set aside the night for SAT studying, and she couldn’t break her schedule. Not this close to the test. Not even for Adam. But when she’d told him that, he hadn’t gotten angry, or sulky, or any of the other reactions she’d expected. Instead, he’d invited himself over. A study date, just the two of them.

“I need to study,” she’d warned him, wary that she’d be too distracted by his charming smile and silky blond hair.

“Hey, I’m taking the test too,” he’d pointed out. “Don’t I need to study?”

She’d been skeptical-but, after all, she’d been begging him all along to take the SATs more seriously. Who was she to object when he finally took her advice?

They had set up shop at the dining room table and, after a couple minutes of small talk, lowered their heads over their books.

For about five minutes. And then his attention span ran out.

The last hour had been insanely frustrating, as she tried to keep her concentration and her temper. But she wasn’t having much luck with either.

“I just thought we could take a little break,” he whined, squirming under her disapproving gaze. “Have a little fun.”

“There’s no time for fun-not now,” Beth said, gesturing at the intimidating piles of books, notebooks, and flashcards that lay scattered across the table. She hated the way she sounded, like such a humorless stick in the mud. But it was partly his fault-if he wasn’t always such a baby, she wouldn’t always have to be such a nag. It’s not like she enjoyed playing the role. “Why can’t you understand that?”

“Maybe because you seem to have plenty of time when it comes to Kane,” he said sulkily.

“Is that what this is all about? Is that why you’re here?” Beth sighed in exasperation. How had Adam gotten so disconnected from the things that really mattered to her, enough so that he couldn’t understand the most important things in her life? Instead, they just had to have this same pointless conversation over and over again. Maybe that was what happened when you stopped talking, she thought sadly. You ran out of new things to say. “Are you really that jealous?”