Envy

“I can’t believe you won!” she said.

Adam choked out a few terse sentences. He was fine. He was tired. He wanted to see her.

“I want to see you, too!” she gushed. “I’m stuck at work all day, but tonight we’re going to Bourquin’s, for some last-minute studying. Meet me there?”

We?

Perfect.

Beth shifted her weight back and forth outside the coffee shop, then began to pace along the front of the restaurant. Kane waved at her through the glass window, and she gave him a weak smile.

She couldn’t wait for Adam to arrive. These last few days had been so confusing-her and Adam not speaking, Kane always underfoot, and then last night, in the park…

She just needed to see Adam again, soon, to talk to him, touch him, remind herself that he was real, that he was her life, that everything else was just-just misplaced emotion. She’d been stressed, things had been weird between them for so long, but now it could all be over. The SATs were tomorrow morning, and after that, she promised herself, she’d stop. Take a break from overachieving, just for a little while, take a break from the dutiful daughter routine, change her shifts around at the restaurant. She’d even promise not to see Kane again, if that’s what it took. She and Adam would have the chance, finally, to be together, to heal. One more night, and she’d be all his-she couldn’t wait to tell him.

Adam had spent the day cleaning out the garage, hoping to keep his mind off things. It was all he could do to keep from running down to the diner and confronting Beth-but he’d decided it would be better to wait. That night, she and Kane would be together. Which meant he could kill two birds with one very large stone.

For hours upon hours he had sorted through the junk in the garage, boxing up most of it to be taken down to the town dump. Just before taping up the last box, he’d slipped his new trophy inside, then closed the lid again. He didn’t need a reminder of the day before sitting on his shelf, mocking him. He didn’t need to remember how happy he’d been, how good he’d felt about himself and his life, before everything came crashing down. The trophy was nothing but garbage now-just like his relationship.

As the sun set Adam walked over to the coffee shop-it was a long way, but then, he had a lot of energy to burn. He saw her before she saw him. She stood just under the neon sign, her features lit softly by the bluish glow. Angelic, he might have thought, in a different life. She looked at her watch and began pacing. She was waiting for him-or maybe she was wondering how much time she’d have to waste on him before getting back to her secret lover.

Bile rose within him, and for a moment he thought he might be sick. But then he forced away the image of her and Kane (when he closed his eyes, he imagined them screwing everywhere-on her bed, in his car, in the locker room, on the basketball court-her poison had tainted everything and everywhere in his life). He needed to be calm. Strong.

Things were going to get worse before they got better.

“Adam!” she called, as soon as she spotted him approaching. “I’m so glad to see you-I missed you!” She ran over to give him a hug, but when she tried to kiss him, he turned his face away.

“Are you still mad?” It seemed an unnecessary question. She’d been hoping that a couple days away had made him realize he had nothing to worry about, that she and Kane were just friends. And that was it, she thought, pushing away the memory of last night. That was it.

“Now, why would I be mad?” his voice sounded strange. Hard. “Did you and Kane have a good time without me?”

“It was horrible,” she lied. “All we did was study. I’m so burnt out-I just need to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, I bet you do. I bet you’re real tired.”

“What?” What was he getting at?

“Just drop it, Beth,” he said harshly.

“What?”

“The innocent act. The little miss perfect shit. It’s tired, and I’m not buying it anymore.”

“What act? Why are you being like this?” She reached out a hand to him, but he shrugged it off, jerking away as if her touch burned.

“Don’t touch me,” he said sharply.

Beth took a step back. Her heart was thumping in her ears, and a sense of dread had settled over her.

“Adam, what’s going on?”

“I guess you thought I’d never figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” she asked.

“You must think I’m an idiot or something.”

“Of course I don’t-what are you-?”

“Just shut up already!” he roared. “I can’t stand it anymore. Stop looking at me like you give a shit, stop acting like you’re all confused, all pure and sweet and innocent-I know all about it, all about you and… him.”

He jerked his thumb toward the window of the coffee shop-Kane was inside, looking out with obvious concern.

“This again?” Beth asked, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. “I told you, there’s nothing going on.”

“And I told you-I know everything. Kaia saw you, Beth. I guess you thought you’d be safe, but she saw you. And she told me everything.”

Beth’s mind skidded across the last forty-eight hours-what could Kaia have seen? What could she have said to make him this angry? The night in the park, it had just been innocent. It might have looked… but it had been innocent. Completely. And besides-Kaia?

“Kaia? You’re yelling at me because of something Kaia told you?” Beth asked incredulously. “Kaia’s a liar and a bitch, Adam, you’re the one who told me that. Why would you believe anything she has to say? Why would you believe her over me?”

“Oh, Kaia’s a liar? Kaia’s a bitch?” He forced a laugh. “That’s a good one, Beth. You know, I didn’t believe her either, not at first. I defended you-I defended your honor!” He laughed again, bitterly. “Good thing for her, she had pictures.”

Pictures? Beth’s heart leaped into her throat. What could there even be pictures of? They hadn’t even kissed. There had been one moment when-but no. Whatever she may have imagined doing, nothing had happened. Nothing.

“Adam, nothing happened,” she protested. “You’ve got to believe me. This is just a huge misunderstanding. If you’ll just listen to me-”

“I’m done listening to you,” he snapped. “I’m done with your lies. Do you have any idea what it felt like? To see you with him? I should have turned last night with Harper into a Kodak moment for you, then maybe you could see how it feels.”

Beth, who already felt as if she’d been punched in the stomach, staggered back and had to lean against the wall for support.

“Harper? You and Harper?”

He looked surprised for a moment, as if not realizing he’d said it aloud. Then his face twisted into an ugly smile.

“That’s right, Harper. But why should you even care? I hope to hell you do.” He glared at her, and she couldn’t bring herself to look away. “I hope it hurts.”

It was as if Adam had disappeared into the desert, and some heartless, unfeeling monster had returned in his place. Beth was reeling.

“So, what-you get a phone call or something from Kaia, of all people, and then without even bothering to talk to me, you just jump into bed with someone else? What’s wrong with you?” she cried.

“You are not the victim here,” he spat. “So you can just knock off the tears. It’s not going to work.”

She lunged forward and grabbed both of his hands tightly in hers. If she could just make him stop for a minute. Think. Before throwing everything away.