Gluttony

“We picked out a necklace,” Kane reminded her, “and I put it around your neck-” He took the garish chain of beads out of her hands and latched it around her neck, pausing as his fingers fumbled with the clasp and brushed against her skin. “Like this. And then we stared at each other.” His forearms rested on her shoulders, locking her in. She could see her reflection in his eyes. “Like this. And you got all awkward and sarcastic…”

“That’s me,” she joked, trying to smile, “ruining things like always.”

“And I wouldn’t let you.” He moved closer, never taking his eyes off of hers. “I told you how beautiful your lips are-”

“No, you didn’t.”

“So you do remember,” he crowed, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I just know I wouldn’t have gone for a lame line like that,” Miranda countered.

“Girls love my lines,” he said, close enough that she could feel his breath on her lips, close enough that she couldn’t see his mouth moving because his enormous, dark brown eyes filled her field of vision.

“I’m different,” she reminded him.

“I know. That’s why, instead, I just-” And the distance between them disappeared as he kissed her. Everything disappeared other than his lips, and the touch of his skin as she stroked her hand across his cheek. His teeth, nibbling at her earlobe. Her tongue, lightly grazing his neck. His breathing, heavy and fast, her quiet gasp as his warm hand slipped beneath her shirt and pressed against the skin of her lower back.

And then reality came rushing back, and she pushed him away.

Right into the pool.

“Oh, no!” She jumped to her feet as he flailed about, finally finding his footing and standing up in the waist-deep water, drenched. “I can’t believe I just did that, I’m so sorry, I-”

“It’s fine,” he assured her, holding out his hand. “Help me up?”

She should have seen it coming. She’d seen enough movies. But she still took his hand-and, like clockwork, he pulled her in after him. The cold water slapped her in the face, spun her upside down, and when she found the surface, shivering and gasping, she was alert again, aware enough to stay away.

“Now you want to tell me why we’re both in the pool?” Kane requested, wading toward her. She backed away.

“You pulled me in!”

“You pushed me first.”

“Good point.”

Kane sliced through the water and, before she could get away, wrapped his arms around her.

“Let go,” she said, and it sounded less like an order than a question.

“You’re shivering,” he pointed out.

“And you’re soaking wet, so I don’t see how that’s helping.”

“Why did you push me away?” he asked, his lips at her ear.

Miranda didn’t say anything.

“I thought we were having fun,” he prodded. “Weren’t you having fun?”

She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her face. Her chin dug into his shoulder; he’d get the idea.

“So why push me away?”

“You know why” she said quietly. He was right, she was shivering-but not because of the cold.

“No.”

“Yes you do! Please don’t make me say it.”

“Miranda, I don’t…?”

“You heard Harper.” She tried to slide out of his embrace, but he wouldn’t let her. He only let go a little, so he could see her face. That was worse. “You know why I…” Miranda just wanted to look away, to be away, but the best she could do was squeeze her eyes shut so she didn’t have to see him looking at her. “I can’t do casual. Not with you. It’s too hard.”

“And what if I don’t want casual?”

She didn’t want to understand his meaning, because it was too dangerous. If she was wrong…

“Open your eyes, Miranda.”

She shook her head.

“Open them, or I’m kissing you again,” he threatened.

She opened her eyes.

“Let’s try this,” he told her. He wasn’t smirking, or even smiling. “You. Me. For real. Let’s just do it.”

“But… why?” Was this some kind of pity thing? Didn’t he know how much worse that would make everything in the morning, when the dream ended and she woke up?

“Because you want to. And because… I want to.” He didn’t sound sure, but he looked it.

“It would never work.”

“Probably not. But Stevens, why not take a chance for once?”

It was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one with everything to lose.

On the other hand… what did she have to lose, she asked herself, when she had so little to start with?

She’d spent so long convincing herself that this moment would never happen, and now here it was-and she almost hadn’t recognized it. She was terrified; but that was no excuse.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” he repeated, his irresistible smile finally making an appearance. “You’ll deign to give me a shot?”

It was hard for her to speak, since she was barely breathing. “I guess you lucked out. So… what now? Should we, uh, talk about what we’re going to-”

He pressed his right hand to her lips, then, lightly, traced a path across her cheek, to the tip of her ear, then down along the edge of her jaw, coming to rest with his fingers just beneath her chin. “Enough talking,” he told her. “We have a deal-now we celebrate.”

The water was still ice cold, but as he leaned down and kissed her, his soaking hair dripping down her face, his wet T-shirt sticking to her skin, she felt perfectly warm.

And though the water was only waist deep and her feet were firmly planted on the floor of the pool, she felt like she was floating.

Beth didn’t know why she answered the phone. She supposed it was a reflex, left over from her old life. She couldn’t have been hoping that there was still a chance-that someone could say something that would make a difference. Even if there was someone who could reach out to her through the phone and explain to her how to fix things, this wasn’t going to be that kind of call.

Beth had seen the number on the caller ID and she picked it up, anyway, but that didn’t mean she was ready to talk. She lifted the phone to her ear but remained silent, trying to decide whether to hang up.

“I can hear you breathing.” Harper’s voice was low and cold. It reminded Beth of someone, though at first she couldn’t figure out who. Then it came to her: Kaia. “I know you’re there. Beth. Beth. Say something.”

What do you want? It took her a moment to realize she’d only mouthed the words, and no sound had come out. She tried again. “What do you want?” It was barely