Lust

nearby or shipped in-and, after so many years of nonstop restaurant cuisine, she had to admit that night after night of home-cooked meals was actually a welcome change. Even if she did usually eat her gourmet food spread out on a TV table in the den-the dining room was too large and impersonal for one. And one was the most she ever got.

Anyway, she’d sent the cook home for the weekend, and instead of her usual diet of whole grains, soy, and fresh greens, she was treating herself to a couple of days of soggy pizza and Ben and Jerry’s. Why not? Hadn’t she accomplished her mission? Didn’t she deserve a little reward?

Kaia scooped some Chubby Hubby into a ceramic bowl (ecru colored, to match the walls) and squeezed some chocolate sauce on top. Perfect. Grabbing a spoon, she headed back into the living room and settled onto the couch, just in time for the beginning of a ‘Very special” Lifetime movie. Like all Lifetime movies, it was a cautionary tale of teen pregnancy or anorexia or domestic violence or something-Kaia didn’t really care. She just liked to watch all the fucked-up people sort out their problems in such reliably melodramatic ways. And it helped kill the time.

“You’re grounded!” her father had shouted in exasperation when she’d strolled in the door a little before dawn.

She’d just smirked. Grounded? As if that were a punishment in a place like this-as if there were anywhere else in this town she’d rather be than on her couch, watching shitty movies. Grace was nothing but tedium. Which her father might have known if he’d spent more than five minutes with her since she’d come to town. But no-he’d swooped home on the one night she was out until dawn, freaked out, grounded her, then disappeared before she woke up the next morning. Off he went on another “business trip,” along with his omnipresent personal assistant, who, conveniently, looked like a low-rent Playboy Bunny.

As if the maid was really going to enforce the whole grounding thing if Kaia decided to leave the house. In fact, Kaia realized, it would almost be worth the trouble of venturing out, just to force the confrontation…

Almost, but not quite.

No, on Monday morning she’d go back to work, so to speak-continue her pursuit of Jack Powell, enjoy the taste of her conquest over Adam, sit back to watch the chaos that would inevitably ensue. And if anyone asked, she would describe a whirlwind jaunt to Manhattan, a jet-setting weekend filled with star-studded parties and risque encounters-much like the weekend she was sure all her East Coast “friends” were currently sleeping off. Not that any of them would bother to tell her about it-or take a break from the high life and visit her in exile.

But no one had to know that. She turned up the volume on the TV-it was anorexia this time, with an “all star cast” featuring some guy from 7th Heaven and that woman from The Facts of Life (she showed up in 70 percent of all Lifetime movies-and Kaia would know).

It was a guilty pleasure, Kaia acknowledged, scarfing down another spoonful of her ice cream. Embarrassing, yes-but all in all not such a bad way to spend a weekend.

Chapter 13

By Monday, Adam had less of a grip than ever on what he wanted to say to Kaia-he just knew that he needed to talk to her, needed to see her, needed it more with every passing minute. The guilt of what they’d done was crushing him; he’d managed to avoid Beth all day long, but his luck couldn’t last forever. Even so, his nightmarish visions of what might happen were far less vivid than his impassioned memories of what had happened, and…

And basically, he was completely confused.

“Kaia!” he called, finally spotting her glossy black hair in the crowd as the final bell echoed through the halls. “Kaia, wait up a minute!” He jogged to catch up with her, breaking into a bright smile as she turned to face him. She was wearing a form-fitting black shirt that laced up the front and jeans so tight they could have been painted on. The indecision and complexities of a moment ago seemed to melt away.

“Adam.” She sighed. “What is it?”

“Where were you all weekend?” he asked, hoping not to sound too desperate. He was, he reminded himself, a superstar on this campus. He was beloved by the masses, adored by throngs of girls. He shouldn’t need to be chasing one through the halls, even if she was so beautiful it hurt, even if her touch made him forget that there’d ever been anyone else. No girl was worth humiliating himself. And yet-he heard the panic creeping into his voice. And couldn’t stop it. “Didn’t you get my messages?”

“I was away,” she said shortly. “Back in New York. So what did you want?”

“I wanted-“Adam broke off. What did he want? That was the whole problem, wasn’t it? He wanted her, of course, right here, right now. But didn’t he also want to be with Beth, his sweet, innocent girlfriend? Other than the awkwardly mumbled hellos exchanged at their neighboring lockers, they hadn’t spoken in almost a week, which was the longest time in months he’d gone without hearing from her. And he missed her, he did-but it was hard to remember that when his eyes, without his permission, remained riveted on Kaia’s deep red lips.

He pulled her out of the path of the crowd and into a small alcove behind the lockers and lowered his voice. He’d just make it up as he went along.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said urgently.

“So you got me. Talk about what?”

About what? What else?

“About, you know, about what we did,” he whispered, darting his head around to make sure no one could overhear. “About what we’re going to do about it.”

About whether we’re going to do it again.

“What’s there to do about it?” she asked, sounding mystified. “Or to talk about? We did it, and”-she touched his cheek briefly, gently-“it was great. But, you know, it’s done. What do you want from me?”

Adam was stunned. “I just thought we could-well, you’d said-and when we were at the motel-I just thought you wanted-”

Kaia laughed-it was a musical sound, lighter and more spontaneous than anything he’d seen her say or do in the short time they’d known each other. That was the difference, he suddenly realized: This was real-and everything else had all been calculated.

“Oh, Adam,” she said, her voice dripping with a patronizing sympathy. “What? Did you think we were going to date or something? Were you thinking this was going to be a relationship?” She pronounced the word as if it tasted rotten coming out of her mouth.

Then she laughed again, and Adam finally got it. He may have been slow, but he wasn’t stupid.

“Whatever,” he said brusquely. “I just wanted to be sure that you didn’t get the wrong idea. I’m with Beth, you know. I love her.” The familiar phrase sounded unconvincing, even to him. Especially to him.

“I know you do,” Kaia assured him, grinning brightly now. “So you must be pretty terrified that she’ll find out about this, hmm?” She gave him a cryptic look. “But hey, who would tell her?”

Shit. Adam had never before understood what it would feel like to have one’s heart leap into one’s throat. Now he knew. It felt like your chest was an empty shell about to collapse in on itself. It felt like strong hands had wrapped themselves around your neck, squeezing like a vise, choking the air out of you. He saw it clearly now, every step of her-what, her plan? Seduction. Betrayal. All that, just to get him into bed? Or to make him feel like a fool? Or was the true prize whatever was about to come next, all hell breaking loose when Beth learned the truth? Would anyone really go to so much effort, just to cause themselves a little pleasure-or someone else so much pain?

“Kaia,” he said warningly, “you wouldn’t-”

Who, me? she mimed, the picture of innocence.

“I’m hurt,” she said aloud. “Don’t you know me at all by now?” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and skipped off down the hallway. “You know you can trust me!” she called over her shoulder.

He was so totally screwed.

“So which one do you like better?”

Silence.