Pride

Best lie I’ve ever told: I look a lot like Brad Pitt.

Three things I can’t live without: 1-Woody Alien movies, 2-my copy of The Fountainhead, 3-someone to talk to

I am… counting down the days of high school like a prisoner waiting for parole. Sick of everyone telling me, “You’re such a great guy, why aren’t you dating anyone?” And a little embarrassed to be on this website.

You are… smart, funny, ambitious, and love to laugh. You hate dating for the sake of dating and are looking for something real. Good-hearted, loyal, and not afraid of a challenge.

It seemed too good to be true. A smart, funny, sensitive guy? Looking for love? And drawn to Miranda? She allowed herself a small smile. Maybe there was hope for her yet.

“Oh, that feels so good,” Kane moaned. He leaned his head back against the rim of the hot tub and closed his eyes. “I could stay here forever.”

“Mmm, I know what you mean.” Beth stretched out along her side, reveling in the jets of hot water pummeling her sore muscles. Her face tingled in the cold night air.

It was an almost perfect end to an almost perfect day.

Kane hadn’t asked anything about her afternoon, and she wasn’t about to volunteer the fact that she’d spent the whole time with Adam, skiing and laughing. It had felt almost like old times, the two of them together, anticipating each other’s every move, the easy ebb and flow of conversation. As if he’d let himself forget everything that had happened-at least until the end of the day, when they’d parted. They had stayed on safe topics all afternoon, meaningless chatter about the snow, about college applications-but in the end, it had seemed as if he was finally about to say something that mattered. And then he’d spotted Kane in the distance-and his whole face had frozen. And that was it. He’d waved a brusque good-bye, and skied away. As if the whole day had never happened. They were right back where they’d started.

But it’s a beginning, Beth thought hopefully. And maybe now we can…

She cut herself off. Can what? Get back together? It’s not like she was still in love with him, or even wanted him back. Friendship, she assured herself. That’s all she wanted. To reach a point where they wouldn’t have to ignore each other in the halls. To know something about what was going on in his life. To have him care what was going on in hers.

That was it-nothing more.

She was with Kane now, exactly where she wanted to be.

He floated lazily across the hot tub to join her and playfully flicked some of the churning water in her face.

She giggled, but before she could splash him back, he grabbed her hands and kissed her.

“You look pretty spectacular in a bikini,” he commented when they broke for air, giving her an appreciative glance. “Anyone ever told you that?”

Beth blushed and sank a bit deeper into the water, suddenly very aware of how much of her was exposed.

When she didn’t reply, he grinned and flexed a bicep. “Traditionally, now’s the time when you tell me how handsome and sexy I look,” he pointed out.

Now she splashed him. “Yes, you’re a total hottie, babe,” she gushed in her best Barbie voice.

He leaned back and closed his eyes again, his face plastered with a smug smile. “Mock me all you want, but you know you wish I was wearing a Speedo.”

Beth laughed and nestled herself against him, relaxing into the delicious warmth of the water, the brittle sting of the winter air, the solid body beside her. She suddenly felt very tired-and very content.

So tired and so content that she let her guard down for a moment-and the question she’d been holding in for so long just slipped out.

“Kane?”

“Mmm?”

“Why are you with me?”

He began idly rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “I thought we just established that,” he said lightly, without opening his eyes. “You’re one hot babe, I’m one hot babe-makes perfect sense to me.”

“Seriously, Kane-we’ve got nothing in common.”

“We both like hot tubs,” he pointed out. “And bikinis…”

She rolled her eyes.

“Come on,” she said, exasperated. “I mean it. We’re totally different. And I’m nothing like any of the girls you dated before.”

He opened his eyes then, and sat up and took her hand. “Have I ever made you think that’s a bad thing?” he asked gently.

“No, I just-”

“You’re right. You’re nothing like them, Beth. And that’s why I’m with you.”

“I just think people must look at us and wonder.” Beth sighed. “We don’t seem to make any sense.” She didn’t know why she was saying all these things, not now, but it was as if once she’d started, she couldn’t stop herself.

“We make sense to me,” he insisted. “Who cares what other people think? They don’t know us-they don’t know me.”

Beth touched her hand to his cheek. “Sometimes…” she paused-but she’d come so far already, why stop? “Sometimes, I feel like I don’t know you.”

She could feel him tense beneath her fingers, and he shifted away.

“You know me,” he countered. “This is me-what you see is what you get. I’m easy.”

Beth shook her head. “That’s got to be the biggest lie you’ve ever told me. Easy?” She smiled fondly. “Not so much.”

“What do you want from me?” he asked petulantly.

Beth draped an arm around him, wishing he hadn’t gotten so defensive-she didn’t want to fight. She just wanted to talk. They didn’t do much of that, she realized.

“I guess I just want-more,” she told him honestly. Spending time with Adam today had reminded her of what it was like to really know someone-and she wanted that again, somehow. “I really like you, Kane, and I just want more of you-I want to know all of you.”

He perked up suddenly. “Something else we have in common,” he pointed out. “I want to know all of you, too. Your lips,” he kissed her gently. “Your neck.” He kissed her again, soft, brief kisses that grazed her chin and ran down the length of her long neck. “Your beautiful-”

“Kane!” she squirmed away. “We’re in public!”

“You’re right,” he replied, gaping at the surroundings as if he’d only just noticed. “What are we doing here? Come on.” He stood and extended a hand to her. “Let’s go back to my room. We can start this whole getting to know each other thing.”

She stood, without his help, and grabbed a towel as she stepped out of the hot tub and onto the steamy patio. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. I meant we should go back to my room and talk… for a while.” He draped another towel around her shoulders and pulled her close to him, rubbing her shivering body to warm her up. “I really like you, too, Beth,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re not the only one who wants more.”

Beth took a deep breath and closed her eyes, resting her head against his dripping chest. Part of her wanted to go with him-all of her wanted to go with him, in fact. Why not? He was handsome and charming, his smile made her tremble, they were in this beautiful, romantic resort, and for whatever reason, he wanted to be with her. And, she realized, she wanted to be with him.

So what was the problem? Why did the thought of stepping into his room and closing the door behind her make her heart race and her muscles tense? She knew what he was expecting out of this weekend. She’d known it from the start. So why did the thought make her hyperventilate?

What is wrong with me? she thought in frustration. She’d let her fears torpedo her relationship with Adam. Was she going to be alone the rest of her life because of her stupid issues? Kane wasn’t Adam-he’d been patient with her so far, but patience wasn’t in his nature, she could tell. How long would he wait?