manner, soon sinking into the cushioned chair by the window with a sigh of languor. The change was greater than he had anticipated from his brief visits to her in her bed-room; and, recollecting the cause of the injuries, he perceived the ingratitude of depriving her of Violet; but his contrition came too late, for he had already exchanged his leave of absence with another officer.
All that was in his power was to wait upon her with that engaging attention that rendered him so good a nurse. He was his pleasantest self, and she was so lively as to put every one else into good spirits. It was pretty to see the universal pleasure in her recovery--the weeding woman, going home late, and looking up at the window to see if she was there, as Miss Helen had promised, and curtseying, hardly able to speak for joy and grief together, when Theodora beckoned her to the window, and asked after her children. The dumb page, too, had watched an hour for her crossing the hall and when Arthur would have taken the tea from him, to hand to her, he gave such a beseeching glance as was quite irresistible, and the more affecting as Theodora's hands were not yet in condition to converse with him, and she was forced to constitute Johnnie her interpreter.
It was long since any of them had spent so happy an evening; and at night Arthur insisted on helping her up- stairs, and said, 'I declare it is a shame not to leave you Violet. Suppose you keep her till you are all right again?'
'O, thank you, Arthur; but--' for Violet looked doubtful.
'Why, I thought you wanted to stay, Violet?' said Arthur.
'If you could.'
'Too late for that; but you must settle it between you before to- morrow morning. Good night.'
Lady Martindale warmly pressed Violet to stay, and she found it much worse to have personally to make the choice than to be only a piece of property at Arthur's disposal. She was, however, firm, saying that he would be uncomfortable without her; and she was grateful to Theodora for perceiving her motives, and preventing further entreaties.
'You are right,' said Theodora, when her mother was gone. 'It would not be fit to leave him with an empty house, so I must yield you up; but I cannot bear to think of you in London.'
'I am used to it,' said Violet, with her patient smile.
'And it will not be four years before we meet again. I shall try hard to come to you in the autumn.'
'How comfortable that would be! But you must not be uneasy about me, nor put any one out of the way. I can get on very well, as long as I have Johnnie.'
It was not till both had laid down to rest, and the room was dark, that Theodora said, 'I understand it now. Her poor sister must have brought her into some bad foreign society, from which he could only rescue her by marrying her.'
So abrupt was this commencement that Violet had to recollect who was meant, and so decided was the tone, that she asked, 'What have you heard?'
'Nothing fresh; have you?'
'No. Arthur had heard nothing from Mr. Mark Gardner; and I am afraid we shall hear no more till John answers my letter.'
'No matter; I have found out how it must have been. Lady Fotheringham, of whom he made a sort of mother, always liked Jane. Depend upon it, she was anxious about the way in which poor Georgina was reported to be going on abroad, and told Percy, when she died, to try if he could do anything to save Jane. You see he goes to Italy, and there finds, of course, that there is no way of fulfilling his aunt's wishes but by sacrificing himself.'
'You have arranged it all most fully!'
'See if I am not right--or, rather, you will not see; but I know that was the way. It is his nature to be fantastically generous, as some people would call it; and as long as he is the same Percival Fotheringham, the rest is as nothing. I was unjust at the first moment. Jane has a better nature, which he can develop. There is a sense of religion to work on--a power of adaptation to those she is with, and if what she has seen in Italy has shocked her and made her turn to him, he may be the making of her. She is clever enough; and when she finds that nothing but truth and honesty will succeed with him, she will learn them at last.'
'How glad I am you take it in this way.'
'This quiet time has been good for me,' said Theodora. 'It would have been maddening to have had no pause before waking to ordinary life.'
'Then the fire came at the right time for you.'
'Have you not read of men rushing into battle, hoping each shot would strike them?'
'O, Theodora!'
'It did not last long. Don't be frightened. Woman fear, and the stifling smell, and burning feel, and the sight of the red-hot gulf, were enough to drive it off. I shall never forget the touch of the floor in Charles's room! I thought of nothing but the fire. The feeling only came back with the fainting. I remember a confused notion that I was glad to be dying with you holding my head and papa so kind. How savage I felt when every one would rouse me, and tell me I was better! I was in hopes the world was all over with me; but I see I have a great deal to do first, and the comfort of lying torpid here has been very great. I have had time to be stunned, and to get a grasp of it and of my own mind.'
'Dear Theodora! It is indeed sometimes a blessing to be laid up. It brings out so much kindness. It is the easiest of all the crosses.'
'I should not wonder if my rampant health had helped to make me the more wayward,' said Theodora. 'I would not but have been ill for the sake of the kindness from my father and mother. I was sure of you, but there is-- It has given me spirit to look out upon life.'
'I hope there is peace at least in the look.'
'There is. It is not worse than before, except the vanishing of a lingering foolish hope, and that is safest. Repentance must always be there. My life is like myself; the wounds may heal, but the marks will remain and the freshness and glow will never return here. I am glad I am so much altered. I should not like to be again within the pale of attractive people.'
'It is strange to hear you say such things so calmly.'
'I made up my mind long ago. In following poor Georgina--or rather, my own self-will--I threw away the bloom of life. Percy warned me that those who reject light crosses have heavy loads imposed. I made what now seems hardly a cross of reed, into a scourge! Oh, Violet! would that I had done no harm but to myself by those races!'
'Hush!' said Violet's smothered voice.
'But for that,' said Theodora, recovering steadiness of tone, 'I should bear everything peacefully. I was unworthy of Percy, and am better off than I deserve. Oh, Violet! I have wished to thank you for making me go to Baden, and promising that if I would submit, guidance would come. There it was, the instant I really sought it. What would have become of me if I had not been haunted by your look and your words? How many times they saved me from accepting Lord St. Erme! And if I had, how my self-will, and pride, and jealousy would have grown! and how wretched I should be making him now!'
'It is much better as it is.'
'Yes, whatever pain I did give him by my very shameful usage, it would have been far worse to have gone on. I was thankful that I was stopped. Now I think I see my own life. There are my home duties; and oh! how could I have spoken as I once did of papa! How shocking it must have seemed to you!'
'I do not know what it was, but it was under great provocation, and you did not understand him then.'
'No, you and Hugh drove me to him, and in seeing him pleased with anything I can do for him, there is solid happiness. I have learnt to enter into his affection and deep feeling and anxieties, and I would not have missed these four years of reciprocity with him for anything! And I shall get on better with mamma now. I fancy she has a different nature after all, from what my aunt forced on her. Well, then, you know I have long set up for a maiden aunt, and there is John, who might want a housekeeper. Or if I am of no use to my own folks, there are the poor always. Perhaps I may come to Emma Brandon's priory. It would be fine discipline to be under Mother Theresa.
This unexpected pleasantry Violet could only answer by a groan.
'Seriously,' continued Theodora, 'my doubt would be whether it would be right to turn to such a course only when one has nothing else to do. It is a different thing from giving the energies and wishes and visions of youth, as Emma has done. I could only offer the worn-out. But that is speculation. There is present duty at home and in the
