'Ah! but I see now it was only human love without the true moving spring, and so my poor child grew up without it, and these are the fruits.'
'But my dear, my dear, one can't _give_ these things. Poor Janet always was a headstrong girl, like my poor Nita. I know what you mean, and how one feels that if one had been better oneself,' said poor Miss Ray, ending in utter entanglement, but tender sympathy.
'She might have been a child of many prayers,' said the poor mother.
'Ah! but that she can still be,' said the old lady. 'She will turn back again, my dear. Never fear. I don't think I could die easy if I did not believe she would!'
Jock brought back word that the lawyer had been entirely unaware of the Hermanns' departure, and thought it looked bad. He had seen them both, and his report was less brilliant than Nita's. Indeed Jock kept back the details, for Mr. Wakefield had described Mrs. Hermann as much altered, thin, haggard, shabby, and anxious, and though her husband fawned upon her demonstratively before spectators, something in her eyes betokened a certain fear of him. He had also heard that Elvira was still making visits. There was a romance about her, which, in addition to her beauty and future wealth, made people think her a desirable guest. She was always more agreeable with strangers than in her own family; and as to the needful funds, she had her ample allowance; and no doubt her expectations secured her unlimited credit. Her conduct was another pang, but it was lost in the keener pain Janet had given.
As his mother could not bear to face any one else, Jock thought the sooner he could get her home the better, and all they did was to buy some of Armine's favourite biscuits, and likewise to stop at Rivington's, where she chose the two smallest and neatest Greek Testaments she could find.
They reached home three hours before they were expected, and she went up at once to her room and her bed, leaving Jock to make the explanations, and receive all Bobus's indignation at having allowed her to knock herself up by such a foolish expedition.
Chill, fatigue, and, far more, grief after her long course of worry really did bring on a feverish attack, so unprecedented in her that it upset the whole family, and if Mr. Ogilvie had not been almost equally wretched himself, he would have been amused to see these three great sons wandering forlorn about the house like stray chicks who had lost their parent hen, and imagining her ten times worse than she really was.
Babie was really useful as a nurse, and had very little time to comfort them. And indeed they treated her as childish and trifling for assuring them that neither patient, maid, nor doctor thought the ailment at all serious. Bobus found some relief in laying the blame on Jock, but when Armine heard the illness ascribed to a long course of anxiety and harass, he was conscience-stricken, as he thought how often his perverse form of resignation had baffled her pleadings and added to her vexations. Words, impatiently heard at the moment, returned upon him, and compunction took its outward effect in crossness. It was all that Jock could do by his good-humoured banter and repartee to keep the peace between the other two who, when unchecked by regard to their mother and Babie, seemed bent on discussing everything on which they most disagreed.
Babie was a welcome messenger to Jock at least, when she brought word that mother hoped Armine would attend to Percy Stagg, and would take him the book she sent down for him. Her will was law in the present state of things, and Armine set forth in dutiful disgust; but he found the lad so really anxious about the lady, and so much brightened and improved, that he began to take an interest in him and promised a fresh lesson with alacrity.
His next step in obedience was to take out his books; but Bobus had no mind for them, and said it was too late. If Armine had really worked diligently all the autumn, he might have easily entered King's College, London; but now he had thrown away his chance.
Mr. Ogilvie found him with his books on the table, plunged in utter despondency. 'Your mother is not worse?' he asked in alarm.
'Oh no; she is very comfortable, and the doctor says she may get up to-morrow.'
'Then is it the Greek?' said Mr. Ogilvie, much relieved.
'Yes. Bobus says my rendering is perfectly ridiculous.'
'Are you preparing for him?'
'No. He is sick of me, and has no time to attend to me now.'
'Let me see-'
'Oh! Mr. Ogilvie,' said Armine, looking up with his ingenuous eyes. 'I don't deserve it. Besides, Bobus says it is of no use now. I've wasted too much time ever to get into King's.'
'I should like to judge of that. Suppose I examined you-not now, but to-morrow morning. Meantime, how do you construe this chorus? 'It is a tough one.'
Armine winked out of his eyes the tears that had risen at the belief that he had really in his wilfulness lost the hope of fulfilling the higher aims of his life, and with a trembling voice translated the passage he had been hammering over. A word from Mr. Ogilvie gave him the clue, and when that stumbling-block was past, he acquitted himself well enough to warrant a little encouragement.
'Well done, Armine. We shall make a fair scholar of you, after all.'
'I don't deserve you should be so kind. I see now what a fool I have been,' said Armine, his eyes filling again, with tears.
'I have no time to talk of that now,' said Mr. Ogilvie. 'I only looked in to hear how your mother was. Bring down whatever books you have been getting up at twelve to-morrow; or if it is a wet day, I will come to you.'
Armine worked for this examination as eagerly as he had decorated for Miss Parsons, and in the face of the like sneers; for Bobus really believed it was all waste of time, and did not scruple to tell him so, and to laugh when he consulted Jock, whose acquirements lay more in the way of military mathematics and modern languages than of university requirements.
Perhaps the report that Armine was reading Livy with all his might was one of his mother's best restoratives,- and still more that when he came to wish her good-night, he said, 'Mother, I've been a wretched, self-sufficient brute all this time; I'm very sorry, and I'll try to go on better.'
And when she came downstairs to be petted and made much of by all the four, she found that the true and original Armine had come back, instead of Petronella's changeling. Indeed, the danger now was that he would overwork himself in his fervour, for Bobus's continued ill- auguries only acted as a stimulus; nor were they silenced till she begged as a personal favour that he would not torment the boy.
Indeed her presence made life smooth and cheerful again to the young people; there were no more rubs of temper, and Bobus, whose departure was very near, showed himself softened. He was very fond of his mother, and greatly felt the leaving her. He assured her that it was all for her sake, and that he trusted to be able to lighten some of her burdens when his first expenses were over.
'And mother,' he said, on his last evening, 'you will let me sometimes hear of my Esther?'
'Oh, Bobus, if you could only forget her!'
'Would you rob me of my great incentive-my sweet image of purity, who rouses and guards all that is best in me? My 'loyalty to my future wife' is your best hope for me, mother.'
'Oh, if she were but any one else! How can I encourage you in disobedience to your father and to hers?'
'You know what I think about that. When my Esther ventures to judge for herself, these prejudices will give way. She shall not be disobedient, but you will all perceive the uselessness of withholding my darling. Meanwhile, I only ask you to let me see her name from time to time. You won't deny me that?'
'No, my dear, I cannot refuse you that, but you must not assume more than that I am sorry for you that your heart is set so hopelessly. Indeed, I see no sign of her caring for you. Do you?'
'Her heart is not opened yet, but it will.'
'Suppose it should do so to any one else?'
'She is a mere child; she has few opportunities; and if she had- well, I think it would recall to her what she only half understood. I am content to be patient-and, mother, you little know the good it does me to think of her and think of you. It is well for us men that all women are not like Janet.'
'Yet if you took away our faith, what would there be to hinder us from being like my poor Janet?'
'Heaven forbid that I should take away any one's honest faith; above all, yours or Essie's.'
'Except by showing that you think it just good enough for us.'
'How can I help it, any more than I can help that Belforest was left to Elvira? Wishes and belief are two different things.'
'Would you help it if you could?' she earnestly asked.'
