Vision of the future

with Karrde. Would you like to see it?' Automatically, Shada stepped toward him... hesitated. 'What do you mean by true?' she asked.

'What does anyone mean by true? We both know history is written by the winners.'

'History is also written by the bystanders,' Car'das said, his hand still up beside the datacards.

'By the Caamasi, and the Alderaanians, and the Jedi. Peoples who had no part or stake in what happened. Would you accuse all of them of lying?'

Shada swallowed, fear and a horrible sense of inevitability twisting itself around her throat. 'And what do all these disinterested parties say?' she asked.

Slowly, Car'das lowered his hand. 'They say that three years before its destruction,' he said gently, 'the rulers of Emberlene set off on a rampage of conquest. That for the first two and a half of those years they destroyed and conquered and plundered every one of the dozen other worlds within their reach.'

'No,' Shada heard herself whisper. 'No. That can't be true. We wouldn't... we couldn't have done something like that.'

'The average citizens weren't told the true story, of course,' Car'das said. 'Though I imagine most could have read between the lines if they'd truly wanted to know what their leaders were doing. But they had triumph and spoils, pride and glory. Why bother with mere truth?' Again, Shada had to look away from those eyes. It wasn't my fault, she wanted to protest. I wasn't there. I didn't do it.

But the words were hollow, and she knew it. No, she hadn't been one of those who had toasted Emberlene's conquests and looked eagerly ahead for more. But in dedicating her life to the Mistryl, she had in her own way helped to perpetuate the lie.

All because she had wanted to make a difference.

'You shouldn't take any of this personally, Shada,' Car'das offered softly into her thoughts. 'You didn't know; and the desire to make a difference is something held deeply within all of us.' Shada looked sharply at him. 'Stay out of my mind!' she snapped. 'My thoughts are none of your business.'

He bowed his head briefly. 'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I didn't mean to intrude. But when someone is shouting, it's usually difficult not to overhear.'

'Well, try harder.' Shada took a deep breath. 'So what happened? How were we finally stopped?'

'Your victims and potential victims were too weak to fight back on their own,' Car'das said. 'So they pooled their resources and hired a mercenary army. The army was... perhaps overly thorough.' Overly thorough. Again, Shada searched for a blistering retort. Again, there was nothing she could say. 'And all in the sector rejoiced,' she murmured.

'Yes,' Car'das said quietly. 'But for the stopping of a dangerous war machine. Not for the suffering of the innocent.'

'No, the innocent are never a very high priority, are they?' Shada said, hearing the bitterness in her voice. 'Does your true history tell who the army was who destroyed us? Or who their sponsors were?'

His face seemed to settle subtly. 'Why do you want to know?'

Shada shrugged, an uncomfortable hunching of suddenly tired shoulders. 'My people have never known who did it.'

'And if I give you that information, what will you do with it?' Car'das asked. 'Turn the vengeance of the Mistryl against them after all these years? Create more suffering among still more innocents?' The words were a sudden stab in her heart. 'I don't know what they'll do with it,' Shada said, a sudden misting in her eyes blurring her sight. 'All I know is that it's the only thing I can take back that might let—' She broke off, swiping viciously at her eyes.

'You don't want to go back to them, Shada,' Car'das said. 'They're living a lie, whether they know it or not. That's not for you.'

'I have to,' Shada said miserably. 'Don't you understand? I have to work for something larger than myself. I've always needed that. I have to have something to hold on to and serve that I can believe in.'

'What about the New Republic?' Car'das asked. 'Or Karrde himself?'

'The New Republic doesn't want me,' she bit out. 'And Karrde...' She shook her head, an acid burning in her throat. 'Karrde's a smuggler, Car'das, just like you were. What kind of purpose is that to believe in?'

'Oh, I don't know,' Car'das said thoughtfully. 'Karrde has altered the organization considerably since my days with it.'