Merely Mary Ann

course, I preferred starvation-one usually does at nineteen; especially if one knows there's a scion of aristocracy waiting outside to elope with him to Leipsic.'

'But you told me you were going back to your dad, because you found you had mistaken your vocation.'

'Gospel truth also! My heavens, shall I ever forget the blank horror that grew upon me when I came to understand that music was a science more barbarous than the mathematics that floored me at school, that the life of a musical student, instead of being a delicious whirl of waltz tunes, was 'one dem'd grind,' that seemed to grind out all the soul of the divine art and leave nothing but horrid technicalities about consecutive fifths and suspensions on the dominant? I dare say most people still think of the musician as a being who lives in an enchanted world of sound, rather than as a person greatly occupied with tedious feats of penmanship; just as I myself still think of a prima ballerina not as a hard-working gymnast, but as a fairy, whose existence is all bouquets and lime-light.'

'But you had a pretty talent for the piano,' said Lancelot in milder accents. 'No one forced you to learn composition. You could have learnt anything for the paltry fifteen pounds exacted by the Conservatoire-from the German flute to the grand organ; from singing to scoring band parts.'

'No, thank you. Aut Caesar aut nihil. You remember what I always used to say: 'Either Beethoven--' (The spaniel pricked up his ears.) -or bust.' If I could not be a great musician it was hardly worth while enduring the privations of one, especially at another man's expense. So I did the Prodigal Son dodge, as you know, and out of the proceeds sent you my year's exes in that cheque you with your damnable pride sent me back again. And now, old fellow, that I have you face to face at last, can you offer the faintest scintilla of a shadow of a reason for refusing to take that cheque? No, you can't! Nothing but simple beastly stuckuppishness. I saw through you at once; all your heroics were a fraud. I was not your friend, but your protégé-something to practise your chivalry on. You dropped your cloak, and I saw your feet of clay. Well, I tell you straight, I made up my mind at once to be bad friends with you for life; only when I saw your fiery old phiz at Brahmson's I felt a sort of something tugging inside my greatcoat like a thief after my pocket-book, and I kinder knew, as the Americans say, that in half an hour I should be sitting beneath your hospitable roof.'

'I beg your pardon-you will have some whisky.' He rang the bell violently.

'Don't be a fool-you know I didn't mean that. Well, don't let us quarrel. I have forgiven you for your youthful bounty, and you have forgiven me for chucking it up; and now we are going to drink to the Vaterland,' he added, as Mary Ann appeared with a suspicious alacrity.

'Do you know,' he went on, when they had taken the first sip of renewed amity dissolved in whisky, 'I think I showed more musical soul than you in refusing to trammel my inspiration with the dull rules invented by fools. I suppose you have mastered them all, eh?' He picked up some sheets of manuscript. 'Great Scot! How you must have schooled yourself to scribble all this-you, with your restless nature-full scores, too! I hope you don't offer this sort of thing to Brahmson.'

'I certainly went there with that intention,' admitted Lancelot. 'I thought I'd catch Brahmson himself in the evening-he's never in when I call in the morning.'

Peter groaned.

'Quixotic as ever! You can't have been long in London then?'

'A year.'

'I suppose you'd jump down my throat if I were to ask you how much is left of that--' he hesitated, then turned the sentence facetiously-'of those twenty thousand shillings you were cut off with?'

'Let this vile den answer.'

'Don't disparage the den; it's not so bad.'

'You are right-I may come to worse. I've been an awful ass. You know how lucky I was while at the Conservatoire-no, you don't. How should you? Well, I carried off some distinctions and a lot of conceit, and came over here thinking Europe would be at my feet in a month. I was only sorry my father died before I could twit him with my triumph. That's candid, isn't it?'

'Yes; you're not such a prig after all,' mused Peter; 'I saw the old man's death in the paper-your brother Lionel became the bart.'

'Yes, poor beggar, I don't hate him half so much as I did. He reminds me of a man invited to dinner which is nothing but flowers and serviettes and silver plate.'

'I'd pawn the plate, anyhow,' said Peter, with a little laugh.

'He can't touch anything, I tell you; everything's tied up.'

'Ah well, he'll get tied up, too. He'll marry an American heiress.'

'Confound him! I'd rather see the house extinct first.'

'Hoity, toity! She'll be quite as good as any of you.'

'I can't discuss this with you, Peter,' said Lancelot, gently but firmly. 'If there is a word I hate more than the word heiress, it is the word American.'

'But why? They're both very good words and better things.'

'They both smack of the most vulgar thing in the world-money,' said Lancelot, walking hotly about the room. 'In America there's no other standard. To make your pile, to strike ile-oh, how I shudder to hear these idioms! And can any one hear the word heiress without immediately thinking of matrimony? Phaugh? It's a prostitution.'

'What is? You're not very coherent, my friend.'

'Very well, I am incoherent. If a great old family can only bolster up its greatness by alliances with the daughters of oil-strikers, then let the family perish with honour.'

'But the daughters of oil-strikers are sometimes very charming creatures. They are polished with their fathers' oil.'

'You are right. They reek of it. Pah! I pray to Heaven Lionel will either wed a lady or die a bachelor.'

'Yes; but what do you call a lady?' persisted Peter.

Lancelot uttered an impatient snarl, and rang the bell violently. Peter stared in silence. Mary Ann appeared.

'How often am I to tell you to leave my matches on the mantel-shelf?' snapped Lancelot. 'You seem to delight to hide them away, as if I had time to play parlour games with you.'

Mary Ann silently went to the mantel-piece, handed him the matches, and left the room without a word.

'I, say, Lancelot, adversity doesn't seem to have agreed with you,' said Peter severely. 'That poor girl's eyes were quite wet when she went out. Why didn't you speak? I could have given you heaps of lights, and you might even have sacrificed another scrap of that precious manuscript.'

'Well, she has got a knack of hiding my matches all the same,' said Lancelot somewhat shamefacedly. 'Besides, I hate her for being called Mary Ann. It's the last terror of cheap apartments. If she only had another name like a human being, I'd gladly call her Miss something. I went so far as to ask her, and she stared at me in a dazed, stupid, silly way, as if I'd asked her to marry me. I suppose the fact is, she's been called Mary Ann so long and so often that she's forgotten her father's name-if she ever had any. I must do her the justice, though, to say she answers to the name of Mary Ann in every sense of the phrase.'

'She didn't seem at all bad-looking, any way,' said Peter.

'Every man to his taste!' growled Lancelot. 'She's as platt and uninteresting as a wooden sabot.'

'There's many a pretty foot in a sabot,' retorted Peter, with an air of philosophy.

'You think that's clever, but it's simply silly. How does that fact affect this particular sabot?'

'I've put my foot in it,' groaned Peter comically.

'Besides, she might be a houri from heaven,' said Lancelot; 'but a houri in a patched print-frock--' He shuddered, and struck a match.

'I don't know exactly what houris from heaven are, but I have a kind of feeling any sort of frock would be out of harmony--!'

Lancelot lit his pipe.

'If you begin to say that sort of thing, we must smoke,' he said, laughing between the puffs. 'I can offer you lots of tobacco-I'm sorry I've got no cigars. Wait till you see Mrs. Leadbatter-my landlady-then you'll talk about houris. Poverty may not be a crime, but it seems to make people awful bores. Wonder if it'll have that effect on me? Ach Himmel! how that woman bores me. No, there's no denying it-there's my pouch, old man-I hate the poor; their virtues are only a shade more vulgar than their vices. This Leadbatter creature is honest