Nana

The bargain amused them--they thought the whole business very good, indeed.

Now as it happened, there was a dinner at Nana's next day. For the matter of that, it was the customary Thursday dinner, and Muffat, Vandeuvres, the young Hugons and Satin were present. The count arrived early. He stood in need of eighty thousand francs wherewith to free the young woman from two or three debts and to give her a set of sapphires she was dying to possess. As he had already seriously lessened his capital, he was in search of a lender, for he did not dare to sell another property. With the advice of Nana herself he had addressed himself to Labordette, but the latter, deeming it too heavy an undertaking, had mentioned it to the hairdresser Francis, who willingly busied himself in such affairs in order to oblige his lady clients. The count put himself into the hands of these gentlemen but expressed a formal desire not to appear in the matter, and they both undertook to keep in hand the bill for a hundred thousand francs which he was to sign, excusing themselves at the same time for charging a matter of twenty thousand francs interest and loudly denouncing the blackguard usurers to whom, they declared, it had been necessary to have recourse. When Muffat had himself announced, Francis was putting the last touches to Nana's coiffure. Labordette also was sitting familiarly in the dressing room, as became a friend of no consequence. Seeing the count, he discreetly placed a thick bundle of bank notes among the powders and pomades, and the bill was signed on the marble-topped dressing table. Nana was anxious to keep Labordette to dinner, but he declined--he was taking a rich foreigner about Paris. Muffat, however, led him aside and begged him to go to Becker, the jeweler, and bring him back thence the set of sapphires, which he wanted to present the young woman by way of surprise that very evening. Labordette willingly undertook the commission, and half an hour later Julien handed the jewel case mysteriously to the count.

During dinnertime Nana was nervous. The sight of the eighty thousand francs had excited her. To think all that money was to go to tradespeople! It was a disgusting thought. After soup had been served she grew sentimental, and in the splendid dining room, glittering with plate and glass, she talked of the bliss of poverty. The men were in evening dress, Nana in a gown of white embroidered satin, while Satin made a more modest appearance in black silk with a simple gold heart at her throat, which was a present from her kind friend. Julien and Francois waited behind the guests and were assisted in this by Zoe. All three looked most dignified.

'It's certain I had far greater fun when I hadn't a cent!' Nana repeated.

She had placed Muffat on her right hand and Vandeuvres on her left, but she scarcely looked at them, so taken up was she with Satin, who sat in state between Philippe and Georges on the opposite side of the table.

'Eh, duckie?' she kept saying at every turn. 'How we did use to laugh in those days when we went to Mother Josse's school in the Rue Polonceau!'

When the roast was being served the two women plunged into a world of reminiscences. They used to have regular chattering fits of this kind when a sudden desire to stir the muddy depths of their childhood would possess them. These fits always occurred when men were present: it was as though they had given way to a burning desire to treat them to the dunghill on which they had grown to woman's estate. The gentlemen paled visibly and looked embarrassed. The young Hugons did their best to laugh, while Vandeuvres nervously toyed with his beard and Muffat redoubled his gravity.

'You remember Victor?' said Nana. 'There was a wicked little fellow for you! Why, he used to take the little girls into cellars!'

'I remember him perfectly,' replied Satin. 'I recollect the big courtyard at your place very well. There was a portress there with a broom!'

'Mother Boche--she's dead.'

'And I can still picture your shop. Your mother was a great fatty. One evening when we were playing your father came in drunk. Oh, so drunk!'

At this point Vandeuvres tried to intercept the ladies' reminiscences and to effect a diversion,

'I say, my dear, I should be very glad to have some more truffles. They're simply perfect. Yesterday I had some at the house of the Duc de Corbreuse, which did not come up to them at all.'

'The truffles, Julien!' said Nana roughly.

Then returning to the subject:

'By Jove, yes, Dad hadn't any sense! And then what a smash there was! You should have seen it--down, down, down we went, starving away all the time. I can tell you I've had to bear pretty well everything and it's a miracle I didn't kick the bucket over it, like Daddy and Mamma.'

This time Muffat, who was playing with his knife in a state of infinite exasperation, made so bold as to intervene.

'What you're telling us isn't very cheerful.'

'Eh, what? Not cheerful!' she cried with a withering glance. 'I believe you; it isn't cheerful! Somebody had to earn a living for us dear boy. Oh yes, you know, I'm the right sort; I don't mince matters. Mamma was a laundress; Daddy used to get drunk, and he died of it! There! If it doesn't suit you--if you're ashamed of my family--'

They all protested. What was she after now? They had every sort of respect for her family! But she went on:

'If you're ashamed of my family you'll please leave me, because I'm not one of those women who deny their father and mother. You must take me and them together, d'you understand?'

They took her as required; they accepted the dad, the mamma, the past; in fact, whatever she chose. With their eyes fixed on the tablecloth, the four now sat shrinking and insignificant while Nana, in a transport of omnipotence, trampled on them in the old muddy boots worn long since in the Rue de la Goutte-d'Or. She was determined not to lay down the cudgels just yet. It was all very fine to bring her fortunes, to build her palaces; she would never leave off regretting the time when she munched apples! Oh, what bosh that stupid thing money was! It was made for the tradespeople! Finally her outburst ended in a sentimentally expressed desire for a simple, openhearted existence, to be passed in an atmosphere of universal benevolence.

When she got to this point she noticed Julien waiting idly by.

'Well, what's the matter? Hand the champagne then!' she said. 'Why d'you stand staring at me like a goose?'

During this scene the servants had never once smiled. They apparently heard nothing, and the more their mistress let herself down, the more majestic they became. Julien set to work to pour out the champagne and did so without mishap, but Francois, who was handing round the fruit, was so unfortunate as to tilt the fruit dish too low, and the apples, the pears and the grapes rolled on the table.

'You bloody clumsy lot!' cried Nana.

The footman was mistaken enough to try and explain that the fruit had not been firmly piled up. Zoe had disarranged it by taking out some oranges.

'Then it's Zoe that's the goose!' said Nana.

'Madame--' murmured the lady's maid in an injured tone.

Straightway Madame rose to her feet, and in a sharp voice and with royally authoritative gesture:

'We've had enough of this, haven't we? Leave the room, all of you! We don't want you any longer!'

This summary procedure calmed her down, and she was forthwith all sweetness and amiability. The dessert proved charming, and the gentlemen grew quite merry waiting on themselves. But Satin, having peeled a pear, came and ate it behind her darling, leaning on her shoulder the while and whispering sundry little remarks in her ear, at which they both laughed very loudly. By and by she wanted to share her last piece of pear with Nana and presented it to her between her teeth. Whereupon there was a great nibbling of lips, and the pear was finished amid kisses. At this there was a burst of comic protest from the gentlemen, Philippe shouting to them to take it easy and Vandeuvres asking if one ought to leave the room. Georges, meanwhile, had come and put his arm round Satin's waist and had brought her back to her seat.

'How silly of you!' said Nana. 'You're making her blush, the poor, darling duck. Never mind, dear girl, let them chaff. It's our own little private affair.'

And turning to Muffat, who was watching them with his serious expression:

'Isn't it, my friend?'

'Yes, certainly,' he murmured with a slow nod of approval.

He no longer protested now. And so amid that company of gentlemen with the great names and the old, upright traditions, the two women sat face to face, exchanging tender glances, conquering, reigning, in tranquil defiance of the laws of sex, in open contempt for the male portion of the community. The gentlemen burst into applause.