But when she glanced at him, he was frowning at his book and looking anything but loverlike.
When bedtime finally came, he escorted her to the door of her dressing room, bowed over her hand, and asked - oh, yes, he really did! - if he might be permitted to wait upon her in a short while.
When he came, she was lying in bed, wondering what she could say or do to improve the situation. But all she did was smile at him until he blew out the candle - the first time he had done that.
He proceeded to make love to her without kisses or caresses, swiftly and lustily. It was all over long before she could even think of preparing herself for the pleasure that had always come during their thirteen previous encounters.
All she was left with was the ache of an unfulfilled longing.
He got up from the bed immediately afterward, pulled on his dressing gown, and left via her dressing room.
And before he closed the door he thanked her.
He /thanked /her.
It felt like the final insult.
And it /was /insulting. All of it. It was intended to be, she suspected.
If she wanted to be his wife merely for convenience and the procreation of children, his behavior this evening and tonight had told her, then he was quite happy to give her what she wanted.
Men were /so /foolish.
Or, if that was too much of a generalization and un-just to countless thousands of innocent male persons, then she would amend her thought.
Elliott Wallace, Viscount Lyngate, was foolish!
Except that it was all her fault.
Though he did not know it and would never ever admit to it, he was hurt.
But she did not know quite what to do about it. Do something she must, though. She owed him better than to be crying over another man a mere four days after marrying him.
She owed him what she had promised him. She would owe it even if she had /not /promised.
Besides, she was not content to let the memory of her honeymoon fade into the past, something sweet that could never be repeated. She had been happy for those three days, and she was as certain as she could be that he had been happy too - though doubtless he would never admit to that particular sentiment even under torture.
They had been happy.
Past tense.
It was up to her to make it present tense with bright prospects for the future too.
For both their sakes.
16
IT WOULD have been quite easy to settle into what was really only half a marriage. Vanessa soon came to suspect that most marriages, at least those of the /ton, /were little more than that.
It was what one might expect, of course, in a segment of society in which most marriages were arranged.
But she had known a different type of marriage, however briefly, and could not be content now with only half a one.
After they moved to London she saw very little of Elliott. He went out after breakfast and did not return until late afternoon. And even when he was at home, so were his mother and youngest sister.
The only time Vanessa was really alone with him was at night, when they went through the brief ritual of lovemaking - if it could be called that.
He was trying to beget an heir with her, and she was trying to enjoy the short encounters. She hoped he was having more success than she was. He always returned to his own room as soon as he had finished. Always he thanked her as he left.
He treated her with civility, but it was cold enough to draw a sigh and a comment from his mother after he had left the breakfast parlor one morning. 'I /so /hoped Elliott would be different,' she said. 'Different?' Vanessa looked at her with raised eyebrows. 'The Wallace men are always as wild as sin before they marry,' the dowager said, 'and meticulously respectable afterward, at least as far as outward appearances go. They always choose their brides with care and treat them with unfailing courtesy ever after. They never marry for love. It would be beneath their dignity and would restrict their freedom too much to allow themselves to feel any such emotion. It is difficult for a man to break with family tradition, especially when the family is as illustrious as this one is. I thought Elliott might do it, though.
Perhaps one always believes one's son will be different from his father.
And of course one always wishes desperately for his happiness.' It was a chilling speech. 'I still intend to make him happy,' Vanessa said, leaning forward across the table. 'It is I who have made him /unhappy, /you see. Or at least I have wounded his pride or something else that is important to him. Three days after our wedding he gathered daffodils with me - great armfuls he could hardly see around. And when we returned to the dower house he filled the pots and vases with water for me and helped sort the flowers and carry them into each room and position them in just the right place and at just the right angle.' 'Elliott did this?' The dowager looked surprised. 'And the very next day,' Vanessa said, 'he found me in tears. I was weeping over a portrait of my late husband because I had been happy for three whole days and felt guilty and feared I might forget him.' 'Oh, dear,' her mother-in-law said, frowning. 'Did you explain to Elliott?' 'I did,' Vanessa said. 'At least I /think /I did. I was not sure how to explain it even to myself. But clearly he did not understand. I will make him happy yet, though. See if I don't.' It would have been very easy just to fall into the busy pattern that life took on as soon as they arrived in town. There were a hundred and one things to do every day - go shopping, go to the library, pay afternoon calls with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, call upon her siblings after they had arrived at Merton House on Berkeley Square, pore over the masses of invitations that arrived at the house every day and ponder which she wished to attend - after her presentation to the queen, of course. And there was that presentation to think about and worry about - and the ball that would follow it in the evening. It was a ball intended primarily for Cecily's come-out, but in a sense it would be Vanessa's too - and Meg's and Kate's.
There were people to meet and faces and names to memorize.
Most of them were female pursuits. Indeed, it seemed to Vanessa that ladies and gentlemen of the /ton /lived largely separate existences and came together only for social events like balls and picnics and concerts. The come-out ball would be one such occasion.
She might have thrown herself into the new life and virtually ignored Elliott, who did she knew not what with his days.
But she missed him. They had talked a great deal during the three days of their honeymoon. They had done things together. They had made love frequently and at satisfying length. They had slept together.
It had been a less-than-ideal relationship even then. She had felt his reserve, his unwillingness to unbend and simply enjoy life. She had noticed that he never smiled or laughed. But it had been only a partial reserve. It had seemed to her that those had been happy days for him too, even if he would never have used that exact word.
At the very least then there had been the hope of more.
Now he was /not /happy - not when he was at home anyway.
And it was all her fault.
She /might /have been contented with half a marriage, then, and she /might /have been contented with the busy nature of her days.
But she was not.
On the morning of the day before her presentation, she heard him leave his dressing room. It was still very early. He always got up early in order to spend some time in the office with Mr. Bowen before going about whatever business kept him from home for the rest of the day.
