Chapter Ninety-six
Lil held herself against me for about fifteen seconds, snow falling from my head and getting tangled in her blonde hair. I was exhausted. Arms about each other, we turned and staggered down the hall toward the living room.
`Are you all right?' she asked.
`Probably,' I answered. `But I sometimes get the impression the world is disintegrating even faster than I am.'
As we entered, H.J. arose from a chair and came over to pump my hand.
`Incredible show, Luke,' he said, blowing cigar smoke against my chest and placing a chubby hand reassuringly on my shoulder. `Don't see how you do it sometimes.'
`I didn't plan any of it,' I said. `Didn't know it was going to happen When Eric asked me for tickets to the program, I thought he and his friends had become my fans. Hypocrites!'
'Not too good for our image, though. Did you consider that?'
`Was anyone killed?' Lil asked from beside me.
I moved over to the couch and with a groan collapsed beside Jake, who, dressed in white T-shirt and black Bermuda shorts, smiled warmly at me. His feet were bare and his' hair looked as if it had last been cut two months ago, by Edgarina.
'Yes,' I answered. `Can I have something to drink?'
`Sure,' Lil said. `What would you like?'
`Hot chocolate.'
`You're beautiful, Luke baby,' Jake said, smiling benevolently. Lil headed for the kitchen.
`Thanks.'
`It's the white collar. You on a religious kick again?'
`It's a disguise. People trust priests.'
`I'm a little high,' Jake said, still smiling blissfully.
`Or at least they trust priests a little more than they do dicepeople.'
'But not so high that it interferes with my brilliance,' Jake added.
`You're melting on my couch,' H.J. said, staring down at me.
`Oh, I'm sorry,' I said.
As I stood up, a buzzer sounded off from somewhere and H.J. hustled off to answer it while I brushed off some snow.
`Are the police after you for the TV show?' Jake asked.
`I would guess so.'
`You ought to consider changing your personality,' he said.
I looked back at him and he burst into a grin.
`You're melting on his rug,' he added.
`Oh, sorry,' I said and moved toward the hallway, where I met H. J. returning.
`The police are on their way up,' he said neutrally.
I drew out a die.
`I'd like to try to get out of here and think things over,' I said. `Is there a way?'
`What's happening?' asked Lil, coming from the kitchen.
`You can go down the service stairs to the basement garage,' H. J.- said.
`What's happening?' Lil asked again.
`Is there a car I can use?'
`My Lincoln Continental is-there. I'll phone down and tell the man to have it ready for a friend.'
A loud knocking came from the end of the hallway.
`Be sure to make a note of the mileage,' H.J. said. `For income-tax purposes. I consider this a foundation business
expense.'
'I've got to run, Lil,' I said. `I'll phone when I get wherever I go.'
I hurried off to where H. J. had pointed to the service doorway, exchanging a last wink with Jake. Outside the apartment I began creeping with all deliberate stealth down the service stairwell to the cellar, and from there I moved like a cat - a large cat admittedly - to the door leading to the underground garage. Slowly, so slowly that I felt a thrill at the James Bond cunning of it all, I opened the door and looked into the brightly lighted garage. Except for a sloppily dressed, but cleancut-looking garage attendant leaning in a chair back against the wall near the entrance, the garage seemed empty.
It took me only five minutes to pick out H. J.'s big Lincoln Continental from the eleven other Lincoln Continentals: I finally figured out it must be the one standing ready to go near the entrance. I checked the license plate again and, with cool nonchalance, slipped open the front door and slid smoothly into the driver's seat.
A young man in his thirties, handsome and earnest, was sitting in front also.
`I'm sorry to disturb you,' he said.
`That's all right,' I said. `I just came down to the basement for a breath of fresh air.'
`I'm John Holcome of the Federal Bureau of Investigation,' he said. He reached into his suit-jacket pocket and leaned
toward me to show a little card that looked like my membership card in the AAPP. I squinted aggressively at it.
`What took you so long?' I asked.
He replaced his card in his jacket pocket, leaned back against his seat and looked into my eyes earnestly.
`After learning through certain means that you were at Wipple's, we had to decide what to do with you.'
`Ahhh,' I said.
`And traffic in Manhattan is clogged in several places tonight.'
He smiled slightly at me like a bright student reciting a lesson. `You're Dr. Lucius Rhinehart,' he finished.
`That's true, I often am,' I replied. `What can I do for you?'
I sprawled back against my headrest and tried to appear relaxed. My forearm sounded the horn.
Mr. Holcome's pale blue eyes searched my unearnest face earnestly and he said `As you may know, Dr. Rhinehart, in
the course of your television performance this afternoon you broke several state and federal laws.'
`I was afraid I might have.'
I looked vaguely out the window to my left for the Lone Ranger or Dicewoman to come rescue me.
`Assault and battery on Dr. Dart,' he said. `Brandishing a firearm in a public place. Larceny of Dr. Dart's gun.
Resisting arrest. Aiding and abetting known criminals. Conspiracy to overthrow the government of the United States. Illegal impersonation of a cleric in a public place. Illegal use of a sponsor's time to give a personal message over public media. And infringement of twenty-three other FCC rulings regarding decorous and proper behavior on a television-media performance. In addition, we are aiding Inspector Putt in amassing evidence for a possible future prosecution of you on a charge of murder in the first degree of Franklin Osterflood.'
'What about hitchhiking within the city limits?'
`Conservatively speaking - and we had no time to check this without computers - we believe that these various crimes
would lead to a sentence of something in the neighborhood of two hundred and thirty-seven years.'
`Ahhh.'
`The government, however, believes that you are actually the harmless dupe of more important subversive forces.'
`Exactly.'
'We know, although we could prove otherwise if we wished, that you were not in on the conspiracy to raid the TV
station'
`Good job.'
