car.”
Morrison frowned and reached for my head, running a hand through my dirty hair. Mud flaked away, showering down the back of my tank top and leaving his fingers a muddy tan. I pulled away, frowning in return. “What?”
“Seeing if there are any lumps on your head. You sure you didn’t hit your head, Walker?”
“No.”
He kept frowning at me. “We’re going to the hospital.”
I sighed and slumped down in my seat again. “Yes, sir.”
I had enough sense—barely—to bite my tongue when I saw the grizzly roaming unconcerned down the middle of the street, and to close my eyes and count to ten and hope the eagle sitting on the stoplight would disappear when I opened my eyes. It didn’t, but that gave me enough time to be absolutely certain Morrison wasn’t seeing it. Bald eagles do not hang out in suburbanSeattle frequently enough to go uncommented on. But an utterly gorgeous thing with a bear’s head and a glittering body, scaled like a fish, made me gasp out loud and sit forward, which in turn made Morrison frown at me even more deeply. I couldn’t help it. It was beautiful, covered in iridescent reds and blues, with enormous teeth and tall deer horns. Beautiful and totally alien. It belonged in a picture book of mythology, not on a corner with its tail lashing, looking as if it were impatient to cross the street.
Whatever else had happened last night, we’d clearly succeeded in giving the spirits body. What I didn’t understand was why Morrison wasn’t seeing them. I clenched my eyes shut and my teeth together as we drove through a hippogryph, which I wouldn’t have betted on recognizing before I saw one. And that gave me some of my answer: there had to be a third step to the ritual that would make them solid. I could see them because…
God. Because I believed. The very thought made my head hurt. I put both hands against my temples and groaned. Morrison frowned at me again. “You okay?”
“I don’t know. Ask me again tomorrow.”
“I’ll ask you again after you’ve seen a doctor.” Morrison flicked a blinker on and I groaned again, watching Northwest Hospital come into view. I was spending way too much time there. A minute later he found a parking place, meaning I wasn’t going to get away with watching him drive off and then running home. “Out,” he said.
I got out, thinking that at least Judy and my spirit animals would be pleased. I was taking their advice to heart, and to active effect. I, on the other hand, wasn’t thrilled. I was happier with the world when I couldn’t see the magical things in it. Even if this was exactly the path I was supposed to be on. I made a gurgling sound of frustration in the back of my throat and Morrison shot me a concerned glare. “Walker?”
I was clearly too unused to having somebody else around. I needed to learn to stop vocalizing my internal annoyances. Either that or I needed to obtain a significant other so I could just tell people like Morrison to hand me over to him and stop worrying about me. At this point, the former seemed more likely. “Nothing. I’m fine. Honest. Can’t I just go home?”
“No.”
I slunk off to see a doctor. Morrison told them I was having hallucinations, and they tested my eyes after they’d stitched my hand up. The light shining into my pupils looked black to me, but my responses were all right and they told me I could go home. I very carefully didn’t mention the bright-eyed rabbit spirit sitting in the corner.
Morrison dropped me off at home, still scowling. “Get some rest, Walker. That’s an order.”
I got out of the car, smiling. “I’m not on duty, Captain.”
“You will be tomorrow, and if you don’t do what I tell you now, I’ll make your life a living hell,” he said pleasantly. I laughed, straightened, and saluted the roof of his car.
“Yessir, Cap’nsir.” I thumped the car and watched him drive off before heading into the building. About twenty-four hours of sleep sounded really appealing, truth be told. Of course, there were about eight reasons why I wasn’t going to get that, so dwelling on it would probably only make me miserable. I climbed into the shower, sat down on the tub floor, and went to see if Judy was still waiting for me while hot water beat the night’s grime off my skin.
CHAPTER 26
She was, and she was agitated, pacing my garden with her skirt a-swirl. I sat where I was for a few seconds, watching her. Unlike Phoebe, she was far from an economy of motion. Every step she took seemed to eat up too much space, as if there was too little control behind it. She looked like she might fly apart at any moment.
Moreover, my garden looked terrible. The grass was curling brown and the sky flat with dust. Even the pool was dull, like someone’d poured charcoal over its surface and the particles hung there, distorting the water’s ability to reflect. I looked up at the sky, wondering if I could convince it to rain. It didn’t start to, so I shrugged and looked back at Judy. “How do you end up here, anyway, when I’m not here?”
She flinched, hands rising up from her sides a few inches, like a startled bird fluttering its wings. I hid a grin, suddenly seeing her as the black-eyed raven. She spun to face me, skirt whirling again. “
“We?”
Her eyebrows crinkled together. “The spirit animals and me. You’re late.”
“I didn’t know spirit animals got worried.” I glanced around, didn’t see them, and shrugged it off. “Sorry I’m late. It was a rough night. Anyway, so how can you be in my garden? How can you be waiting for me here?”
“You expect me to be here,” Judy said. “It gives me access.”
For a moment I thought I heard Marcia’s voice saying, “It’s a matter of expectation,” and frowned at Judy. She didn’t look anything like Marcia, even after the whole knife incident. The truth of the matter was probably that expectation colored a lot of what I did or what I was supposed to do. I said, “Okay,” through a yawn, and nodded. At least I’d gotten a night’s sleep, even if it’d been in a fallen tree.
Judy came and crouched in front of me. “You’ve changed a great deal.”
I tried to speak through another yawn and gleeked instead, then coughed as I clapped my hand over my mouth. My eyes teared with the effort of the whole thing and it took two swallows before I was able to say, “I have?” I glanced down at myself again.
My new suntan hadn’t followed me into my garden. Too much self-perception tied up in being pale-skinned. The tan probably wouldn’t last long enough for that to change. Still, it was a nice compliment. It made me feel like maybe I was doing something right with the whole mystical lifestyle thing.
Judy’s pause stretched on long enough to be audible. I blinked up at her, curious, to find her mouth pursed. “I meant the world around you,” she said gently. “You’ve changed a great deal out there.”
“Oh.” I felt foolish, a blush burning my ears. The tan might’ve been useful to hide that. And here I thought I’d been doing so well. Judy put her hand on my shoulder, smiling.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I think that you’re able to affect these changes means you’re finally beginning to accept your own gifts, Joanne. The world around you isn’t the only thing that’s changed.” She sat down across from me, folding her legs under herself tidily.
A little surge of happy pride tingled through me. I ducked my head, feeling ridiculous. I’d practically asked for the clarified compliment. It made me happy anyway. “So what’s on the agenda for today, bo—” I bit off the word. I called Morrison boss. For some reason I didn’t want to share his word with Judy.
I’d never put it in so many words, but it occurred to me that I had some interesting hang-ups about Morrison.
I put the thought firmly out of my mind. “What’s on the agenda?”
Judy leaned forward, suddenly full of intensity. It lit her eyes, making them blacker and brighter, reminding me of Virissong as he’d told his story to me. Which also reminded me that I’d wanted to ask him more questions, but it was going to have to wait until after the solstice ritual. At least then I’d be able to talk to him face-to-face. “I want to talk to you about tonight’s ritual.”
