beside him. 'To sleep.' He gestured vaguely at the trees.
She sighed. 'I'm not tired. Not sleeping tired.' She looked at him, but he could not read the look, and after a moment she went on. 'I'm tired in muscle, and too tired to eat more than a bite at a time, but I feel as if I could do anything except sleep. I've had enough sleep to take me to the end of summer.' She walked back to the table and sat down again. She kicked out a chair for him, and her glance flicked up to his and away. He padded softly into the kitchen, looked at the chair, then sat down feeling numb. He reached for the wine bottle, but found it empty. Gravely she offered him her glass, but caught it back from him before he could drain it.
'There's a lot of explaining I have to do.' She stopped his voice by putting the glass back to his lips. He took it from her, looking at her over its rim.
'A deal,' she proposed gravely. 'You don't ask me about things I said to you; I won't ask you where the hell my wagon is.'
He nearly smiled. 'But it's not that simple, Ki. I need to know, in Human folly Hollyika tells me, what you feel, now, and what you felt. I have to ask.'
'All right, then.' Ki's eyes challenged him. 'But I'll start first. What the hell happened to my wagon?'
Silence fell. Ki's face was grim. Vandien shifted uncomfortably. 'I lost it,' he muttered, going red-faced.
'And now about my feelings. I lost them.' Ki picked up a peach from the table and bit into it.
'And now,' he pressed.
'And now I have regrets. Not only for things I said to you, but for all the things I have never said to you. But also for what I found over there in myself, the potential that will never be more than that. I could wish I had never known.'
'You've changed.'
'I won't be eating meat anymore, if that's what you mean. I've come to feel my kinship with all moving living things. And I won't be taking my time for granted anymore. I won't ignore the fact that the span of my days is short.'
He could not smile at her. The relationship so carefully built seemed crumbled; he dared no longer trust the weight of his heart to it. 'It's more than that,' he said heavily. 'It's not going to be the same between us.'
Ki looked deep into his eyes, troubled by what she saw there. 'The same as what? When was it ever the same between us, from day to day? When did we ever want it to be?' She paused. She smiled at him, hopefully, and her face looked less thin. 'You know, of course, that I could have jumped from Sigurd's back in the confusion. I didn't have to come back through the Gate.'
He swallowed, and suddenly sighed out the tension, and did not hear Ki's answering sigh. He was eased, and incredibly sleepy. She reached to touch his face, then got a good grip on the nape of his neck. Bending his head toward her, she warned him gruffly. 'Next time don't be so damned careless with the things I give you.' The chain went cold around his neck and the hawk thudded lightly against his chest. A look of wonder came over his face, and he reached to touch it with one finger. Rising, he pulled her upand against him. 'I'm going out under the trees to sleep,' he told her. 'Right now, I crave light and heat against my skin.'
Ki stretched within the circle of his arms, and spoke with her face in the hollow of his shoulder. 'I'll come out under the trees with you,' she offered. 'But not for the light and heat. And not to sleep.'
