She tried to soften toward him. 'I'll be better, too,' she offered awkwardly.
He caught at her hand, but Ki was too aware of Willow standing in the door, watching them. She squeezed his hand, then pulled free. She gathered a few odd pieces of bedding, leaving him the lion's share. She didn't think she'd be sleeping tonight anyway. Willow took a very long time to move out of her way, but Ki stifled an urge to push past the girl.
Outside there was no easing of tension. Goat was waiting for her. 'Are we going to sleep by the fire?' he demanded instantly. 'Or shall we sleep under the wagon?'
'You can sleep anywhere you wish. I'm sitting up and keeping watch for awhile.'
'Shall I keep you company?' he offered hopefully.
She heard the caravan door shut and Willow scrabbling at what was left of the latch. That's another thing I'll have to fix, Ki thought, but not for a while. The thought gave her a small satisfaction. Goat was still watching her. The light was behind him. He stood with his shoulders bowed in toward his chest, and the details of his face were shadowed. He clutched his trailing bedding, like a child frightened from sleep by the bogies. Being angry suddenly took too much effort.
'If you want,' she conceded. 'Or you can sleep. Just don't expect me to be good company. I'm too tired, and there's too much on my mind.'
'If you want —' Goat swallowed audibly, and his voice was very soft. 'I could rub your head. It would make your headache go away, and you could rest.'
Ki became suddenly aware of how her temples were throbbing. Before, the pain had seemed a part of her anger. She could imagine, with sudden lethargy, how good it would feel to have someone massage that tension away.
'It's a thing my mother taught me, when I was very little,' Goat added shyly. 'Something she said every healer should be able to do. It feels nice.'
'I thank you, Goat, but no,' she replied wearily. 'No, I think I shall just sit quietly and look at the night and keep watch. But that was a kind offer.'
'You don't want me to touch you.' His voice was petulant.
She was too tired for this. 'Yes,' she admitted. 'That's true. I wouldn't be comfortable.' 'Why?'
Ki was arranging her bedding. She leaned a cushion against one of the tall wheels of the caravan, and then sat down against it, dragging a quilt over her lap. She looked at Goat.
'Why?' he repeated.
'Why don't you go to bed?' she responded.
'I'm not sleepy yet. Why wouldn't you be comfortable with me touching you?'
Ki sighed. The strength of her anger had forsaken her. 'Because you're still a stranger, and I'm not comfortable being touched by strangers.'
'How long would it take before I wasn't a stranger?'
The note was in his voice again, suave lechery with a runny nose. She wondered where he had picked up the lines and the inflections. It sounded like something a tinker might say to a tavern whore. She shut her eyes.
'How long did it take before Vandien wasn't a stranger?'
Ki didn't open her eyes. 'Why don't you ask him?'
'Why don't you tell me?' Earthy, suggestive tone.
'Goat.' Ki shifted slightly. 'Why are you being an ass?'
'Why are you?' His voice was full of sudden hurt. 'How can you let them sleep together while you sleep out here?'
She opened her eyes, recognized his jealousy and understood his adolescent reasoning. If Vandien was sleeping with a girl Goat wanted, Goat would retaliate by seducing Vandien's woman. It was too silly for comment. Yet he needed an answer. She tried to think of one that wouldn't prompt any more questions. 'Goat, don't worry about it. Vandien is probably sound asleep by now. And even if he weren't, and even if he were inclined toward Willow and she were receptive, his ribs would keep him from acting on the impulse. So no one has anything to worry about. Now, please, go to sleep?'
'You don't know Willow,' he replied sulkily. He tossed his bedding to the ground and dropped onto it, curling up like a dog.
And he does know Willow, Ki thought to herself. How? It isn't likely that girl would take up with an odd boy like Goat. Yet there's been something between them, to account for all the hostility and jealousy. Let it go, it's late and I'm tired.
For a time she sat listening to the night. The insects chirred incessantly, and there was the comfortable sound of Sigurd's and Sigmund's great hooves shifting as they dozed. A soft whicker of owl's wings as the predator passed overhead. No hoofbeats. Nothing to fear. She drew up her knees, set her forehead against them and let herself doze.
'Vandien?' Willow whispered. 'What?' he asked grudgingly.
'I'm scared. Can I come up there beside you?'
He sighed silently. Earlier, Willow's machinations to make Ki jealous had seemed mildly humorous. But this ... 'How would you be any safer up here?' he asked wearily.
A brief silence. He sensed her sudden uncertainty when he didn't respond as she expected. 'Because ... I'm afraid I'll fall asleep, I'm so tired. So I thought I could come up there and talk to you and stay awake. So Goat can't bother me.' She was sitting up, leaning her elbows on the edge of the bed. He turned his head to look at her.
'Willow, I'm really tired, and my ribs hurt. I don't want to stay awake and talk. Now be a good girl and let me go to sleep.' His avuncular tone was deliberate.
'But ...' She was flustered. Evidently, this wasn't going as intended. What had she intended, he suddenly wondered. He heard the rustle of the straw mattress, opened his eyes again. She had edged farther onto the bed. 'You don't understand about Goat. At all. Or you wouldn't be going to sleep, either.'
'Oh? Well, why don't you sit on the floor, then, and keep yourself awake by telling me about him?'
'All right,' she agreed quickly, and clambered up to sit on the bed beside him. He opened his eyes again. In the dimness of the cuddy, she looked very young. Very, very young. 'Goat has Jore blood,' she began. 'Do you know what that means?'
'I suppose it means one of his ancestors wasn't Human. His father mentioned it to us; I didn't think it was especially important.'
'It isn't... usually. There's a lot of mixed blood in this part of Loveran. You see a lot of half-Brurjan, especially in their garrison towns. And ... other crosses. But not many Jore crosses, and hardly ever one with Human body and Jore eyes.'
'So?'
She edged closer to him. 'So, it means he can see ... everything.' She lifted her hand in an encompassing gesture, let it fall so it brushed his thigh. 'Everything anyone dreams, he can spy on.'
Vandien shifted in the darkness, hitching himself away from her accidental touch. By the Moon, his ribs ached. But he was intrigued now, whether he wanted to admit it or not. 'So Goat can tell what you dream. Why should that worry you?'
He could feel her eyes on him in the darkness. 'Because he uses what he learns from dreams to hurt people. To make fun of their secret longings, or expose their mistakes, and take advantage of their fears. Once he's been inside your dreams, he can change how you feel about them.' Overcome by the enormity of the thought, Willow melted beside him. She lay on her side, facing him, her jaw propped on her hand.
'He can change how you feel about your dreams.'
'Yes.' 'And why is that so important?'
'Don't you see? He can take your secrets and use them against you. He can make your dreams go where he will. Nothing you have ever thought is safe from his spying. And everything he learns spills out of his mouth. He has no honor.' She spoke bitterly, as one betrayed. Vandien sensed himself very close to the heart of the puzzle, and held his tongue.
The silence lengthened. Willow wiggled closer to him. She wore a scent, like ginger and oranges. He could hear her breathing, but he waited her out.
'Once,' she breathed, 'I trusted him.'
