'Stop it, you two,' I ordered. 'Right now the problem is to get us all out of here before the balloon goes up… no offense, Massha. Now spill, Aahz. What's so special about this cell that's keeping you bottled up?'
My partner heaved a great sigh.
'Take another look at it, Skeeve. A close look.'
I did. It still looked the same to me: a tower room in the shape of a dragon's head.
'Yeah. Okay. So?'
'So remember where we are. This thing was built to hold vampire criminals. You know, beings with superhuman strength that can change into mist?'
My gaze flew back to the dragon's head.
'I don't get it,' I admitted. 'How can any stone cell hold beings like that?'
'That's the point.' Aahz winced. 'A stone cell can't! This thing is made of living stone. If whoever's inside tries to bust out, it swallows them. If they try to turn into mist, it inhales them.'
'You mean…'
'Now you're getting the picture.'
He flashed his toothy grin at me despite his obvious depression.
'The cell is alive!'
Startled by this revelation, I looked at the tower top cell again. As if it had been waiting for the right cue, the dragon's head opened its eyes and looked at me.
Chapter Twelve
'For the right person, the impossible is easy!'
To everyone's surprise, particularly my own, I didn't find the revelation about the true nature of Aahz's confinement at all discouraging. If anything, I was doubly pleased. Not only did I have an immediate idea for how to beat the problem, I had arrived at it before my knowledgeable partner… well before, as a matter of fact, as he had been pondering his dilemma for days whereas I had only just received the information. Of course, he was probably not in a position to see the easy solution that I could.
'What are you grinning at?' he demanded. 'If there's anything funny about this, it eludes me completely.'
Unlike my own amiable self, Aahz tends to show his worry by getting mad. Come to think of it, he tends to express almost any emotion by getting mad. Well, at least he's consistent.
'Tell me,' I said, eyeing the dragon's head, 'you say this thing's alive. How alive is it?'
'What do you mean, 'how alive is it'?' Aahz scowled. 'It's alive enough to swallow me if it gets it into it's head. That's alive enough for me.
'I mean, can it hear and see?'
'Who cares?' my partner said, in a dazzling display of charm and curiosity that makes him so lovable. 'I hadn't planned on asking it out for a date.'
I stared thoughtfully at the beast.
'I was just wondering if it could hear me… say, if I said that I thought it was the ugliest building decoration I've seen here in town?'
The dragon's head rewarded me by narrowing its eyes into an evil glare.
'I think it can hear you, Boss,' Guido said, shifting his grip nervously. 'It doesn't look like it liked that last comment.'
'Oh, swell!' Aahz grumbled. 'Tell you what, partner. Why don't you come in here and sit on this thing's tongue instead of me before you start getting it all riled Up?'
'I was just checking.' I smiled. 'To tell the truth, I think it's the most incredible thing I've seen since I started traveling the dimensions. I just said that other to test its reactions.'
The dragon stopped glaring, but it still looked a little bit suspicious and wary.
'Well, find some other reaction to test, okay?' my partner snapped. 'For some obscure reason, I'm a little nervous these days, and every time this thing moves its tongue I age a few centuries.'
I ignored his grumbling and shook one of my legs.
'Hey, Guido! Are you still paying attention down there?'
His grip tightened fiercely.
'Of course I'm paying attention, you little… I mean, yeah, Boss. There's not much else to do while we're hangin'. here, know what I mean? And quit jerking your leg around… please?'
I found his verbal slip rather interesting, but now wasn't the time to investigate further.
'Well, listen up,' I said. 'Here's what I want you to do. I want you to let go with one hand and pass the rope up to me…'
'No way, Boss! Have you seen how far down it is? I'm not lettin' go no matter what you…'
'… because if you don't,' I continued as if he hadn't interrupted, 'I'm going to start squirming around until either you lose your grip with both hands or Massha loses her grip on me. Whichever way it goes, you'll fall. Get my drift? Now for once could you just follow orders without a lot of back-talk? We don't have much time to pull this off.'
There was a stricken silence below as Guido absorbed my ultimatum and weighed the possibilities.
'Pull what off?' Aahz demanded. 'Why doesn't anybody tell me anything? If this master plan of yours is riding on that sorry excuse for a bodyguard, you might as well give up right now. I've told you all along that he was too lily-livered to be any good at…'
'Who's lily-livered?!' Guido shouted. 'Look, Big Mouth, as soon as we get you out of there, you and me are going to settle this once and…'
'First, we've got to get him out, Guido,' I interrupted. 'The rope.'
'Right, Boss. One rope coming up. We'll see who's lily-livered. The last person who called me that was my mom, and by the time I got done with her…'
Our whole formation began to rock dangerously as he fumbled through his coat one-handed in search of the rope. For a minute, I was afraid he was mad enough to let go with both hands to speed his search.
'Easy there, Guido,' I cautioned. 'We can…'
'Here it is, Boss!' he said, flipping the rope up so violently that it almost whacked me in the face. 'I hope you can use it to hang the son of a…'
'Hanging isn't enough!' Aahz taunted. 'It takes more than a piece of rope to do me in.'
'Yeah. It takes a little girl with blue eyes and a spiked drink,' my bodyguard sneered back. 'If you think I'm going to let you live that one down…'
I forced myself to ignore them. While it was tempting to rally to Luanna's defense, there were other more pressing matters to attend to.
Moving as carefully as I could, I looped one end of the rope up and around Massha's waist. It took a couple of tries and a lot more rope than I would have liked, but finally I managed to catch the dangling end and tie it off securely.
'What's with the rope, Hot Stuff?' Massha said calmly, the only one of our group who had managed to keep her cool through the entire proceedings.
'Well, with any luck, in a little while we're going to be heading down… with Aahz,' I explained. 'Even though I know you're strong, I don't think your hands are strong enough to keep a grip on all three of us while we make the trip. This is to be sure we don't lose anyone after we spring the cell.'
'Speaking of that,' Aahz called, 'I'm still waiting to hear how you're going to get me out of this thing. You might even say I'm dying to find out.'
He wasn't the only one. The dragon's head was watching my every movement through slitted eyes. I'm not sure how much pride it took in its job, but it was obvious the beast wasn't getting ready to overwhelm us with its
