Phule's Errand

“Neither did I until just a little while ago,” said Sushi. “It’s a fairly new colony, discovered by explorers from Te-jas and mostly settled from there. Main industry right now is mining, but there’s some local agriculture and the usual mix of misfits who want a new place to start over.”

“Just like the Omega Mob,” said Rembrandt, chuckling.

“I would take exception if it weren’t mostly true,” said Phule. “I wonder what’s the quickest way to get there?” He blinked. Beeker had always been the one who arranged travel plans for him. Now he would have to learn to do it himself…

“I already had Mother check that out, Captain,” said Sushi. “We can get a private shuttle to Lorelei-which is what Beeker and Laverna did-and from there we catch the regular liner to the Tejas sector, where we catch the local. The shuttle can be here on twenty-four-hour notice, so just say when you want it.”

“Three days ago,” said Phule, wryly. “Remmie, you know the routine-you’re the senior lieutenant, so you’re acting CO while I’m gone. And I honestly don’t know how long that’ll be, so you’re going to have to be ready for a long haul if that’s what it takes.”

“We aren’t worried about that, Captain,” said Lieutenant Rembrandt, smiling bravely. “We can manage, if you really need to be away. But wouldn’t it be easier to hire somebody on Cut ‘N’ Shoot to find them than to go running off yourself? I mean, with your family’s connections…”

“This is something I have to do in person, Rembrandt,” said Phule. “If Beeker runs off without a word, something unusual is going on. I can’t trust a stranger with that, not halfway across the Alliance. I’ve got to be there and talk to him myself. Now, are you sure you can handle the company by yourself?“

Rembrandt nodded. “Armstrong and I have done it before, remember? And if things get really sticky, Brandy and the other noncoms are there to bail us out. Just don’t get into anything you can’t get out of by yourself.”

“Oh, he don’t have to worry about that,” said Do-Wop. “Me and Soosh are goin‘ along to get him out of trouble.”

“What?” said Phule. “You can’t! You’re more likely to get me into trouble than out of it. Besides, Sushi’s the best computer jockey in the company, and if something goes wrong, Lieutenant Rembrandt is going to need him- and maybe even you-right here.”

“Geez, go a little easy on the flattery,” said Do-Wop. “You ever stop and think-maybe you need to take a sly mofo like me along to Cut ‘N’ Shoot to show you how to talk nice to the farkin‘ natives?”

“Right,” said Sushi. “And while he’s at it, he can take along Tusk-anini to give ‘em ballet classes.”

“Hey!” protested Do-Wop. “Watch it, Soosh-I thought we was in this together!”

“Well, the final answer is, neither one of you are going,” said Phule. “I can travel a lot faster by myself than if I have to keep track of you two. I’d have to check every bar and casino-and maybe a jail or two-before I could leave a town. So you’re staying here. It’s not as if I can’t run my own computer, you know.”

“You heard the captain,” said Rembrandt, with a warm smile. “I’m sure he can find his way around a frontier world just fine all by himself. Besides which, I’ll be needing both of you here. So that’s settled.”

“OK, Captain,” said Sushi, calmly. “So I’m assuming you want the Lorelei shuttle here ASAP-and connections from Lorelei to Tejas and Cut ‘N’ Shoot. I’ll get those right away-shouldn’t take more than an hour. Anything else?“

“A little luck wouldn’t hurt,” said Phule, wryly.

“Here’s hoping you don’t need it,” said Rembrandt. “But if I were you, I’d start packing now. If Sushi does get lucky with the shuttle, maybe we can have one earlier than we expect.”

“Good idea,” said Phule. “Let me know as soon as you know when the shuttle will be here, Sushi.”

“Right on, Captain,” said Sushi, turning to his console and starting the call to Lorelei shuttle service.

As soon as Phule had left the room, he turned to Do-Wop. “Are you ever going to learn when to keep your mouth shut?” he said. “Now we’re going to have to stay out of the captain’s sight the whole way to Cut ‘N’ Shoot.”

“Hey, if he bought it, we’d‘ve been riding up in first class with him,” said Do-Wop, with a shrug and a grin. “You never try, you never win.”

“And when you try something that stupid, you’re blowing your chances before you even start to play,” said Sushi.

“All right, you guys, cut it out,” said Rembrandt. “I’ll give you the same advice I gave the captain-get your stuff packed and be ready to go. If you miss the special shuttle, you’re going to be a day behind him by the time he gets to Lorelei-and that might be enough for you to miss him altogether. We need somebody to make sure the practical details get taken care of, now that he doesn’t have Beeker to look after him. And you’re the best I’ve got-as sad a commentary as that is.”

“Don’t worry, Remmie, we’ll stick to him like glum-bions to a cressleback,” said Do-Wop. He spun on his heel and swept out, leaving the other two with mouths wide open.

“Glumbions?” said Rembrandt, in a dazed tone of voice. “Cressleback?”

Sushi shrugged. “I’ll fill you in if I ever find out,” he said. “Which probably won’t turn out to be worth the effort…”

“I know what you mean,” said Rembrandt. “But thanks, anyway.”

Phule had just returned to his office when there was a knock on the door behind him. He turned to see Lieutenant Rembrandt standing in the doorway. “Captain, may I speak to you privately, sir?” Rembrandt’s voice was-well, not quite urgent, but certainly insistent. So was the look in her eyes.

Phule nodded. “Sure, Lieutenant, come on in.” He sat on the edge of his desk and waved a hand. “Have a seat,” he said as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “What’s on your mind?”

“Thank you, sir, I’ll stand,” the lieutenant said. She stood awkwardly for a moment, then began. “Captain, I didn’t want to bring this up in front of everybody else, because I don’t want anyone to think I can’t handle the company while you’re gone. But I really do need to know this: What’s so important about Beeker’s going away that somebody else can’t go to bring him back? Or why don’t you ask some of your off-world contacts to find him? It’d be way easier, I’d think.”

Phule cleared his throat and said, “Well, Rembrandt, to tell you the truth, I thought I was overdue for a little bit of vacation myself…”

“No, sir,” said Rembrandt, firmly. “That’s a good story, and most of the troops will buy it. But it’s not the real reason. I’m going to be running Omega while you’re gone, Captain. If I don’t know the whole story, I’m likely to say something that everybody can see through-or that has consequences I can’t foresee. I need to know the real story. Nobody else needs to know it, but / do. And if you don’t think so, I respectfully suggest you give this job to somebody else.

Phule nodded. “You’re right, Lieutenant. My apologies- I should’ve been straight with you. The real reason has to do with the Port-a-Brain…”

“Surely you’re not worried about Beeker stealing it, sir?”

“Oh, that’s the last thing old Beeks would do,” said Phule. “Even if he decided to give me notice, he’d make it a point of honor to send back the Port-a-Brain-and anything else that belonged to me. No, the problem is a security feature my father had built in when he ordered the twin ‘puters for us.”

“A security feature?” Rembrandt frowned. “What kind of security feature?”

“Well, of course a Port-a-Brain’s got some fairly advanced antitheft and antihacking features as standard equipment,” said Phule. “Dad was worried about one of us being abducted along with our ‘puter. Somebody might try to kidnap Beeker and use the Port-a-Brain to tap into my stock portfolio, for example-we do have a lot of sensitive data on them.”

“So what happens if somebody does snatch one of you?”

“If either of us enters a certain code, they both shut down. It kicks in automatically if the two computers are out of range of one another-which basically covers a normal-sized planetary system-for three standard days. You can turn them back on, but you can’t open any programs unless Beeks and I both enter two different passwords within fifteen minutes-and each of us only has our own password.”

“OK, I can see how that’d be a pain,” said Rembrandt. “You’d have to wait till he gets back to use your computer-unless you can get him to enter the password from wherever he’s going…”

Phule nodded. “That’s not even the worst of it. If we’re still out of range and the right codes aren’t entered after another five standard days, the Port-a-Brain completely wipes its memory. As far as I know, there’s no way