Silent Thunder

'Last night. Actually, I've been checking every day since we made contact with Niler. I never completely trusted him.'

'What gave him away?'

'Nothing. Actually, I liked him. I've just learned it's best not to trust anyone completely. After you fell asleep last night, I went down and found that he'd planted it on the undercarriage of our car. I recognized his work and simply returned it to him.'

'Under his car,' Hannah said. 'Weren't you worried it would go off while you were moving it around?'

'It was a concern, but any car bomb is designed to withstand a lot of jostling until it's detonated. I saw the radio receiver and knew that he built it to be triggered remotely.'

'You didn't tell me. So when you say that you've learned not to trust anyone completely, that obviously includes me.'

'That's not true.'

'Of course it is. Why didn't you tell me any of this last night? Or this morning?'

'I thought you wouldn't approve of my method of dealing with the problem.'

She looked at him in disbelief. 'Dealing with the problem. You mean blowing Niler to bits?'

'I know you liked him. I knew if I kept you out of the loop, there would be less guilt for you later.'

'How thoughtful.'

'Look, Niler blew himself up. He literally engineered his own fate. I'm guessing that he called Pavski soon after we met. He probably extracted a tidy sum in exchange for handing us over.'

'And those devices he told us he was making for Pavski?'

'They were probably for one of his drug clients.'

A trap. A trap from the very beginning. 'Why couldn't he have just blown us up before?'

'He could have. I think Pavski just wanted positive confirmation with his own people present. He thought he'd killed me on two previous occasions.' He frowned. 'Dammit, I'd hoped that Pavski would come himself.'

'Maybe he had other fish to fry. The cradle?'

'I don't know. I don't like it. Last night's call from Pavski was pure radio theater. I actually would have been less suspicious if Pavski hadn't agreed to the phone call. As I've said, he likes to insulate himself.'

'Where did you get the explosives?'

'I paid a visit to Niler's workshop last night.'

She stared at him incredulously. 'That was stupid. You could have been killed. How did you get past his security systems?'

Kirov showed her a black box about the size of a cigarette pack. 'I had this in my pocket when we went there with him. It's a radio-frequency code reader. When he deactivated the system, this box caught and recorded the frequencies from his remote. That's the reason I wanted to go out there. I thought that his tools of the trade might come in handy for us.'

'You suspected him even then?'

He shrugged. 'That's the world I live in, Hannah. Do you want me to apologize for not negotiating with you every step of the way?'

'Yes. I don't like to be left in the dark.'

'Okay, I apologize. But I'd probably do the same thing tomorrow. This isn't you, and I like it that way.'

'What isn't me?'

'The guns, the bombs, the killing. This isn't who you are.'

'It's not you, either. At least it didn't used to be.'

'You're wrong. I was raised to be a warrior.'

'Being an officer on a sub isn't the same as blowing up cars. Before you went on the run, had you ever used a gun against someone? Had you ever killed a man?'

He shook his head.

'Our experiences make us who we are,' she repeated the words he had once said to her.

'Then you've just lost your argument. I don't want you to become who I am.' Kirov went silent for a moment. 'I saw the look on your face when I talked about killing Pavski, and you knew it was actually going to happen.'

'That was just because-'

'It was because you're human,' he interrupted. 'It's how you should feel. You might want to kill Pavski, but doing it in cold blood made you back away. I felt that way once, but I don't now. I don't want you to lose that piece of yourself. I want to shield you from as much of this as I can.'

'It's not your job to protect me.'

'No, it's my pleasure and my privilege,' he said soberly. 'And I'm not going to let you take that away from me.'

'Kirov…' She shook her head. Part of her was frustrated and indignant, and part of her was experiencing a kind of emotional meltdown. How often had she been feeling this dichotomy of feeling for Kirov lately? Best to shy away from the personal while she was feeling this vulnerable. 'What happens now?'

'We regroup and take a look at where we are and where we're going. Things have changed.'

'What do you mean?'

'Pavski no longer needs you alive. He knew you'd be in that car with me. It doesn't matter to him anymore. I've been thinking about it ever since I found Niler's bomb. It bothered me because it shows that Pavski no longer believes you have any information that can help him. He might have an informant with the CIA, he might have decided we wouldn't be wasting time with the antique dealer or Niler if we had any knowledge he was lacking. Or he may have gotten another lead on the cradle from the GRU file he got. You were our best opportunity of drawing Pavski out, and it's gone.'

'Then we'd better look for another opportunity.'

'That's what I'm doing. On the other hand, we have Bradworth and the CIA. Aside from my feeling that they'd be much too lenient with Pavski, I think he has some informants in the Agency. I don't like to trust them with information that Pavski could use against me.'

'So?'

'It's time we turned our disadvantages into advantages.'

'How?'

'That's what we have to decide.' His brows lifted. 'I'm open to suggestions.'

And she had nothing to suggest. Everything was moving too fast, and she had to digest what Kirov had told her before she could think clearly. She shook her head. 'Believe me, I won't be shy about giving you input when I come up with something.'

He smiled. 'No, there's nothing shy about you. It promises well for other aspects of our relationship.' Before she could answer, he stood up. 'In the meantime, I'll give you breathing room.' He headed for the door. 'I'm right next door to you. If you want to talk, knock on my door. I'll order takeout and deliver your supper at six. Okay?'

'Okay.'

He looked over his shoulder. 'And don't dwell on this. It won't do any good. It's over.' He grimaced. 'That's no good. Wrong thing to say.' He whirled, crossed the room, and fell to his knees in front of her. 'Do what you have to do. Feel what you have to feel.' He held her gaze with his own. 'But what's happened hasn't changed what you are. If I could take it away, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I can't do that.' His hand reached up and gently touched her cheek. 'And I'm too much of a bastard to wish that you'd never come into my life. All I can do is tell you that I'll shoulder every burden you'll let me. I'll fight for you. I'll give you comfort.' His finger traced the line of her upper lip. 'I'll give you anything you want from me. Is that enough?'

He was barely touching her, and her chest was tight, and the intensity in the room was thick and charged. Charged with what? She knew he was trying to comfort her, and the comfort was there. Yet there was also the disturbing element that seemed always to be between them now.

He shook his head as he got to his feet. 'It's kind of mixed up, isn't it?' He turned and strode toward the door. 'My intentions were good. It just didn't turn out the way I-'

The door closed behind him.