«I don't understand you. There are lots of actors picking up spare money making public appearances for celebrities.»
«I regard them as prostitutes, not colleagues. Let me make myself clear. Does an author respect a ghost writer? Would you respect a painter who allowed another man to sign his work — for
Dubois snorted. «How much money?»
Broadbent frowned at him. «I think I understand your objection.»
«To the artist, sir, kudos comes first. Money is merely the mundane means whereby he is enabled to create his art.»
«Hmm ... All right, so you won't do it just for money. Would you do it for other reasons? If you felt that it had to be done and you were the only one who could do it successfully?»
«I concede the possibility; I cannot imagine the circumstances.»
«You won't have to imagine them; we'll explain them to you.»
Dubois jumped up off the couch. «Now see here, Dak, you can't — »
«Cut it, Jock! He has to know.»
«He doesn't have to know now — and here. And you haven't any right to jeopardize everybody else by telling him. You don't know a thing about him.»
«It's a calculated risk.» Broadbent turned back to me.
Dubois grabbed his arm, swung him around. «Calculated risk be damned! Dak, I've strung along with you in the past — but this time before I'll let you shoot off your face, well, one or the other of us isn't going to be in any shape to talk.»
Broadbent looked startled, then grinned coldly down at Dubois. «Think you're up to it, Jock old son?»
Dubois glared up at him, did not flinch. Broadbent was a head taller and outweighed him by twenty kilos. I found myself for the first time liking Dubois; I am always touched by the gallant audacity of a kitten, the fighting heart of a bantam cock, or the willingness of a little man to die in his tracks rather than knuckle under ... And, while I did not expect Broadbent to kill him, I did think that I was about to see Dubois used as a dust rag.
I had no thought of interfering. Every man is entitled to elect the time and manner of his own destruction.
I could see tension grow. Then suddenly Broadbent laughed and clapped Dubois on the shoulder. «Good for you, Jock!» He turned to me and said quietly, «Will you excuse us a few moments? My friend and I must make heap big smoke.»
The suite was equipped with a hush corner, enclosing the autograph and the phone. Broadbent took Dubois by the arm and led him over there; they stood and talked urgently.
Sometimes such facilities in public places like hotels are not all that they might be; the sound waves fail to cancel out completely. But the Eisenhower is a luxury house and in this case, at least, the equipment worked perfectly; I could see their lips move but I could hear no sound.
But I could indeed see their lips move. Broadbent's face was toward me and Dubois I could glimpse in a wall mirror. When I was performing in my famous mentalist act, I found out why my father had beaten my tail until I learned the silent language of lips — in my mentalist act I always performed in a brightly lighted hall and made use of spectacles which — but never mind; I could read lips.
Dubois was saying: «Dak, you bloody, stupid, unprintable, illegal and highly improbable obscenity, do you want us both to wind up counting rocks on Titan? This conceited pipsqueak will spill his guts.»
I almost missed Broadbent's answer. Conceited indeed! Aside from a cold appreciation of my own genius I felt that I was a modest man.
Broadbent: «...doesn't matter if the game is crooked when it's the only game in town. Jock, there is nobody else we can use.»
Dubois: «All right, then get Doc Scortia over here, hypnotize him, and shoot him the happy juice. But don't tell him the score — not until he's conditioned, not while we are still on dirt.»
Broadbent: «Uh, Scortia himself told me that we could not depend on hypno and drugs, not for the performance we need. We've got to have his co-operation, his intelligent co-operation.»
Dubois snorted. «What intelligence? Look at him. Ever see a rooster strutting through a barnyard? Sure, he's the right size and shape and his skull looks a good bit like the Chief, but there is nothing behind it. Hell lose his nerve, blow his top, and give the whole thing away. He can't play the part — he's just a ham actor!»
If the immortal Caruso had been charged with singing off key, he could not have been more affronted than I. But I trust I justified my claim to the mantle of Burbage and Booth at that moment; I went on buffing my nails and ignored it — merely noting that I would someday make friend Dubois both laugh and cry within the span of twenty seconds. I waited a few moments more, then stood up and approached the hush corner. When they saw that I intended to enter it, they both shut up. I said quietly, «Never mind, gentlemen, I have changed my mind.»
Dubois looked relieved. «You don't want the job.»
«I mean that I accept the engagement. You need not make explanations. I have been assured by friend Broadbent that the work is such as not to trouble my conscience — and I trust him. He has assured me that he needs an actor. But the business affairs of the producer are not my concern. I accept.»
Dubois looked angry, but shut up. I expected Broadbent to look pleased and relieved; instead he looked worried. «All right,» he agreed, «let's get on with it. Lorenzo, I don't know exactly how long we will need you. No more than a few days, I'm certain — and you will be on display only an hour or so once or twice in that time.»
«That does not matter as long as I have time to study the role — the impersonation. But approximately how many days will you need me? I should notify my agent.»
«Oh no! Don't do that.»
«Well — how long? As much as a week?»
«It will be less than that — or we're sunk.»
«Eh?»
«Never mind. Will a hundred Imperials a day suit you?»
I hesitated, recalling how easily he had met my minimum just to interview me — and decided this was a time to be gracious. I waved it aside. «Let's not speak of such things. No doubt you will present me with an honorarium consonant with the worth of my performance.»
«All right, all right.» Broadbent turned away impatiently. «Jock, call the field. Then call Langston and tell him we're starting Plan Mardi Gras. Synchronize with him. Lorenzo...» He motioned for me to follow and strode into the bath. He opened a small case and demanded, «Can you do anything with this junk?»
«Junk» it was — the sort of overpriced and unprofessional make-up kit that is sold over the counter to stage-struck youngsters. I stared at it with mild disgust. «Do I understand, sir, that you expect me to start an impersonation
«Huh? No, no, no! I want you to change your face — on the outside chance that someone might recognize you as we leave here. That's possible, isn't it?»
I answered stiffly that being recognized in public was a burden that all celebrities were forced to carry. I did not add that it was certain that countless people would recognize The Great Lorenzo in any public place.
«Okay. So change your phiz so it's not yours.» He left abruptly.
I sighed and looked over the child's toys he had handed me, no doubt thinking they were the working tools of my profession — grease paints suitable for clowns, reeking spirit gum, crepe hair which seemed to have been raveled from Aunt Maggie's parlor carpet. Not an ounce of Silicoflesh, no electric brushes, no modern amenities of any sort. But a true artist can do wonders with a burnt match, or oddments such as one might find in a kitchen — and his own genius. I arranged the lights and let myself fall into creative reverie.
There are several ways to keep a well-known face from being recognized. The simplest is misdirection. Place a man in uniform and his face is not likely to be noticed — do you recall the
