'No, please, I don't want to talk about it.'
'But you must. You must help us.' That persistent voice. Why? Why?
'Why were you afraid of Carl, Nancy?'
She had to answer, if only to stop the questions.
She heard her voice, far away, trying to answer… It was like watching herself in a play… Scenes were taking shape.
Mother… the dinner… the last time she saw Mother… Mother's face so troubled, looking at her, at Carl. 'Where did you get that dress, Nancy?' She could tell Mother didn't like it.
The white wool dress. 'Carl helped me pick it out. Do you like it?'
'Isn't it a bit… young?'
Mother left to make a call. Was it to Dr Miles? Nancy hoped so. She wanted Mother to be happy… Maybe she should go home with Mother… Maybe she would stop feeling so tired. Did she say that to Carl?
Carl left the table. 'Excuse me, dear'… Mother back before him…
' Nancy, you and I must talk tomorrow… when we're alone. I'll pick you up for breakfast.'
Carl came back…
And Mother… kissing her cheek… 'Good night, darling. I'll see you at eight.' Mother getting in the rented car, waving goodbye, driving down the road…
Carl drove her back to school. 'I'm afraid your mother doesn't approve of me yet, dear.'
The call… 'There's been an accident… Steering mechanism…'
Carl… 'I'll take care of you, my little girl…'
The funeral…
The wedding. A bride should wear white. She'd wear the white wool dress. It would do for just going to the Mayor's office.
But she couldn't wear it… grease stain at the shoulder… 'Carl, where could I have got grease on this dress? I only wore it to have dinner with Mother.'
'I'll have it cleaned for you.' His hand, familiar, patting her shoulder…
'No… no…'
The voice. 'What do you mean, Nancy?'
'I don't know… I'm not sure… I'm afraid…'
'Afraid of Carl?'
'No… he is good to me… I'm so tired… always so tired… Drink your medicine… You need it… The children… Peter and Lisa… all right for a while… Carl was good… Please, Carl, close the door… Please, Carl, I don't like that… Don't touch me like that… Leave me alone…'
'How should he leave you alone, Nancy?'
'No… I don't want to talk about it…'
'Was Carl good to the children?'
'He made them obey… He wanted them to be good… He made Peter afraid… and Lisa… 'So my little girl has a little girl'
'Is that what Carl said?'
'Yes. He doesn't touch me any more… I'm glad… But I mustn't have medicine after dinner… I get too tired… There's something wrong… I must get away… The children… Get away
'From Carl?'
'I'm not sick… Carl is sick
'How is he sick, Nancy?'
'I don't know…'
' Nancy, tell us about the day Lisa and Peter disappeared. What do you remember about that?'
'Carl is angry.'
'Why is he angry?'
'The medicine… last night… He saw me pour it out… got more… made me drink it… So tired… so sleepy… Lisa is crying… Carl… with her… I must get up… must go to her… Crying so hard… Carl spanked her… said she wet the bed… I have to take her away… in morning… My birthday… I'll tell Carl…'
'Tell him what?'
'He knows… he's beginning to know…'
'Know what, Nancy?'
'I'm going away… take the children… Have to go away…'
'Didn't you love Carl, Nancy?'
'I should. He said, 'Happy birthday.'… Lisa so quiet. I promised her we'd make a birthday cake for me… She and Peter and I… We'd go out and get candles and chocolate for it. It's a bad day… starting to rain… Lisa may be getting sick
'Did Carl go to school that day?'
'Yes… He phoned… I said we were going to shopping centre… that after that I was going to stop at the doctor's to let him see Lisa… I was worried. I said I'd go to the Mart at eleven… after the children's television programme
'What did Carl say when you told him you were worried about Lisa?'
'He said it was a bad day… if Lisa was getting a cold, he didn't want her out. I said I'd leave them in the car while I shopped… They were excited about my birthday. They never had fun… I shouldn't have let Carl be so strict… my fault… I'll talk to doctor… have to ask doctor… about Lisa… about me… Why am I always so tired?… Why do I take so much medicine?… Rob made children laugh… They were so different around him… Children should laugh…'
'Were you in love with Rob, Nancy?'
'No… I was in cage… had to get out… wanted to talk to someone… Then Rob said what I said to him… Wasn't like that… wasn't like that…' Her voice began to rise.
Lendon's voice became soothing. 'Then you took the children to the store at eleven.'
'Yes. It's raining… I told children to stay in car… They said they would… Such good little children… I left them in back seat of car… Never saw them again… never… never…'
' Nancy, were there many cars in the lot?'
'No… No one I knew in store. So windy… cold… not many people…'
'How long were you in the store?'
'Not long… ten minutes… couldn't find birthday candles… Ten minutes… Hurry back to car… The children gone.' Her voice was incredulous.
'What did you do, Nancy?'
'Don't know what to do… Maybe they went to buy present for me… Peter has money… They wouldn't leave except for that… They're so good… That might make them leave… Maybe in other store… the dime store… Look in candy store… look in gift shop… hardware store… look back at car… Look, look for children…'
'Did you ask anyone if they'd been seen?'
'No… Mustn't let Carl know. He'll be angry… Don't want him to punish children
'So you checked all the stores in the shopping centre?'
'Maybe they came looking for me… got lost… Look in parking lot… Maybe they couldn't find car again… Begin calling them… Frightened… Someone said we'll call police and your husband… I said, 'Don't tell my husband, please.'… Woman told about that at trial… I just didn't want Carl to be angry.-.-.'
'Why didn't you tell this at your trial?'
'Mustn't… Lawyer said, Don't say Carl was angry… Don't say you argued on phone… Lisa didn't wet the bed… bed dry…'
'What do you mean?'
'Bed dry… Why did Carl hurt her? Why? Doesn't matter… Nothing matters… Children gone… Michael… Missy gone too… Look for them… have to look for them…'
'Tell us about looking for Michael and Missy, this morning.'
'I must look at the lake… Maybe they went to the lake… Maybe they fell into the water… Hurry, hurry… Something is underwater
