in love with him, it would not be unwelcome. Now she and her mother had come down to the planet's surface, to do some 'sightseeing.' The girl was obviously looking for only one sight: Ender Wiggin. And he was nowhere.
Valentine was fed up. The boy could be bold and brave indeed, except when there was something emotionally demanding that he didn't actually have to do. He could evade this girl, and maybe he thought that was some kind of clear message, but he owed her words. He owed her at least a good-bye. It didn't have to be a fond one, it just had to happen.
She finally found him in the XB's ansible room, writing something — probably a letter to Graff or someone equally irrelevant to their life on this new world.
'The fact that you're here,' said Valentine, 'leaves you without any excuse at all.'
Ender looked up at her, seeming to be genuinely puzzled. Well, he probably wasn't faking it — he probably blocked the girl out of his mind so thoroughly that he had no clue what Valentine was talking about.
'You're looking through your mail. That means you got the passenger log for this shuttle trip.'
'I already met the new colonists.'
'Except one.'
Ender raised an eyebrow. 'Alessandra isn't a colonist anymore.'
'She's looking for you.'
'She could ask anybody where I am and they'll tell her. It's no secret.'
'She can't ask.'
'Well, then, how does she expect to find me?'
'Don't put on this stupid act. I'm not so stupid as to believe you're stupid, even if you're acting as stupid as can be.'
'OK, I've got the stupid part. Can you be more specific?'
'Extremely stupid.'
'Not the degree, dear sister.'
'Emotionally insensitive.'
'Valentine,' said Ender, 'doesn't it occur to you that I actually know what I'm doing? Can't you have a little faith in me?'
'I think you're evading an emotionally difficult confrontation.'
'Then why don't I hide from you?'
She wasn't sure whether to be even more annoyed at him for turning the tables on her, or to be a bit relieved that he considered a confrontation with her to be emotional. She wasn't actually sure she had enough of a hold on him for their confrontations to be emotional — on his side, anyway.
Ender glanced at the time in the computer display and sighed. 'Well, your timing, as usual, is impeccable, even if you don't have a clue.'
'I'd have a clue if you gave me one,' said Valentine.
Ender was standing now, and to her surprise, he really was taller than her. She had noticed he was getting tall, but hadn't realized that he had passed her. And it wasn't thick shoes — he wasn't wearing any.
'Val,' he said softly. 'If you looked at what I say and do, it would be obvious to you what's going on. But you don't analyze. You see something that doesn't look right, and you leap past all the thinking part and go straight to 'Ender is doing something wrong and I must put a stop to it.»
'I think! I analyze!'
'You analyze everything and everybody. That's what makes your history of Battle School so wonderful and truthful.'
'You've read it?'
'You gave it to me three days ago. Of course I've read it.'
'You didn't say anything.'
'This is the first time I've seen you since I finished it. Val, think, please.'
'Don't patronize me!'
'Feeling patronized isn't thinking,' he said, sounding irritated at last. That made her feel a little better. 'Don't judge me until you understand me. You can't understand me if you've already judged me. You think I've treated Alessandra badly, but I haven't. I've treated her extremely well. I'm about to save her life. But you can't trust me to do the right thing. You don't even bother to think what the right thing is before you decide that I'm not doing it.'
'What is it that I think you're not doing that you are doing? That girl is pining for you —»
'Her feelings. Not her needs. Not what's actually good for her. You think the worst danger she faces is having her feelings hurt.'
Valentine felt the righteous anger bleed out of her. What danger was he talking about? What need did Alessandra have, beyond her need for Ender? What was Valentine missing?
Ender put his arms around her, hugged her, and then moved past her, out of the room, then out of the building. Valentine had no choice but to follow.
He moved briskly across the grassy square in the middle of the science complex — really, just four one-story structures where the handful of scientists worked on the biology and technology that kept the colonists and the colony running. Now, though, with the newcomers from the ship, the houses were teeming with people, and Ender had already asked the foremen of the crews to shift their priorities and get additional science buildings. The noise of building wasn't deafening, because there were few power tools. But the calling out of instructions, the shouted warnings, the pounding of axes and hammers, it was a vigorous sound, taken all together. The sound of deliberate, welcome change.
Did Ender really know exactly where the Toscanos would be? He certainly walked straight toward the place. And now that Valentine thought about it — analyzed, yes, Ender — she realized that Ender must have been waiting till the end of their visit, until the shuttle was loading up for the return trip. Not quite the last one, but the last that wouldn't be full of marines and crew. The last shuttle with room for nonessential passengers.
He cut it rather close, even so. Alessandra was standing forlorn at the bottom of the ramp, with her mother tugging at her sleeve, urging her to move on into the shuttle. Then she saw Ender coming toward her and broke away from her mother, running to Ender. Could the poor girl be any more obvious?
She flung her arms around Ender, and to his credit, he embraced her willingly. In fact, Valentine was surprised at the way he held her, nuzzling her shoulder with real affection. What did he mean by that? What was the girl going to think he meant? Ender, are you really that insensitive?
When she practically jumped into his arms, Ender took a step back to bear the sudden momentum; but he made sure to get his face down close to her ear.
'Sixteen is old enough to join a colony without parental permission,' he said softly.
Alessandra pulled away from him, looked searchingly in his eyes.
'No,' said Ender. 'Nothing will happen between us. I'm not asking you to stay for me.'
'Then why would you ask me to stay at all?'
'I'm not,' said Ender. 'I'm telling you how. Right now, right here, I can set you free from your mother. Not to take her place, not to take control of your life, but to let you take control of it. The question is, do you want it?'
Alessandra's eyes filled with sudden tears. 'You don't love me?'
'I care about you,' said Ender. 'You're a good person who has never had a moment's freedom. Your mother controls your coming and going. She spins stories around you and eventually you always believe them and do what she wants. You barely know what you want. Here in Shakespeare, you'll find out. Up there, with your mother and Admiral Morgan, I wonder if you'll ever know.'
She nodded, understanding. 'I know what I want. I want to stay.'
'Then stay,' said Ender.
'Tell her,' said Alessandra. 'Please.'
'No.'
'If I talk to her, she'll find some reason why I'm being stupid.'
'Don't believe her.'
'She'll make me feel guilty. Like I'm doing something really awful to her.'
