One Foot in the Grave

him not to mention anything about you to Randy, okay? Your boss would lose all the hairs off his balls if he found out how many people knew about you.”

“Well put.” Well put, indeed.

Bones was Felicity’s mysterious wedding partner. She was delighted, managing to squeeze herself indecently next to him in every shot. To make matters worse, he was being charming. I could have cheerfully killed them both after the pictures.

But I couldn’t show how much it bothered me for the same reason I hadn’t run into Bones’s arms when I first saw him. No matter what my feelings were, nothing about our circumstances had changed. So I couldn’t afford to let him know how much I still cared. All I could do was play it cool-and hope Bones bought the act enough to leave me this time.

I made a beeline for the bar right after the last click of the camera. There was only one thing that could help with tonight, and that was gin. Lots of gin. I downed the first glass without budging in front of the bartender.

“Another one.”

The bartender made an inquiring face but poured another gin and tonic. I eyed the level he selected and gave him a dirty look.

“More alcohol,” I said succinctly.

“Drowning your sorrows?” a familiar voice behind me mocked.

“None of your business,” I replied, straightening.

“There you are, darling!”

Noah came over and gave me a peck on the cheek. Bones tightened his lips into a grim line as he watched.

“Um, Noah…I’ll show you to your table.” I wanted to get him away from Bones, who was looking at Noah like he’d rather drink from his neck than what the bar had to offer.

I saw Noah to his seat, since I was sitting separately at the head table with the rest of the bridal party. My mother pulled me aside as soon as I left Noah. Her face was florid.

“Do you know what that beast did when you walked away from him at the bar? He winked at me!”

Caught off guard, I laughed. God, that was priceless. She must have had steam coming out of her ears.

“You think that’s funny?” she irrationally demanded.

“Well, Mom, he risked his life for you, and then you tried your damnedest to have him killed. He may not like you.”

I spoke low but flippantly, not concerned over Bones’s actions with her. He would never hurt her, I knew, but she definitely had some needling coming. God only knew what I had coming.

There were place cards at the head table, which was one long, rectangular thing that would have everyone facing the reception room. I sat at the one marked Cristine Russell. Randy sat to my left, with Denise to his right. To my right read Chris Pin. Who…?

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said aloud. Why didn’t I just shoot myself and get it over with?

“Justina, we meet again.” Bones appeared and took his seat next to me as I vaulted out of my chair. “Wouldn’t want to be rude, but I believe your table is over there.”

He inclined his head to where Noah sat, oblivious to the drama.

“There you are!” Felicity squealed. She grabbed Bones by the arm and smiled at him. “You and I are paired together for the night, so no more running off! I hope you dance as great as you look.”

“Slut,” I muttered, but not softly enough.

“What was that?” she asked, still blinking coyly up at Bones.

“Er, good luck.” My voice rose to a normal level and I backed away.

Felicity looked smug. “I don’t need luck.”

I downed my gin and then headed, again, for the bar. My mother glared at Bones as she followed after me.

“Oh, Ms. Russell,” Bones called out. I froze. His emphasis on my fake last name was deliberate. Then again, what had I expected? I’d taken Bones’s real surname as my alias; did I think he wouldn’t notice? Or comment? “Would you be a luv and get me a drink? You remember my preference, I’m sure.”

A slew of curses went through my mind, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself to stay calm. Denise was my best friend. She deserved a lovely reception, not a bloodbath.

“That filthy, lecherous-” my mother began.

“Stuff it.” We reached the bar. I gave the poor attendant behind it a murderous look. “Tall glass. All gin. Don’t even think about commenting.”

His face blanched but he poured to my specifications. I took a long swallow before adding, “Oh yeah. And a fucking whiskey, neat.”

TWELVE

FELICITY TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE HALF-EMPTY pilsner glass of gin I returned with and gasped.

“Cristine, can’t you keep a lid on your drinking? This is my cousin’s wedding, for heaven’s sake!”

Her prim tone made me squeeze my glass so hard to avoid slamming it over her head that it shattered. Gin spilled on the front of me, and my palm started to bleed.

“Motherfucker!” I shouted.

Every head turned. Bones smothered a laugh by faking a sudden cough.

“Are you okay?” Randy looked worriedly at me and wrapped his napkin around my hand. He glanced at Bones, who gave him an innocent shrug.

“I’m all right, Randy,” I yelped, mortified.

Denise poked her head around her new husband. “Do you want us to switch the seats?” she asked quietly.

They thought I was rattled because Bones was a vampire. That was the least of my concerns. His nearness was shredding my control, and the reception had barely started.

“Cristine!” Noah came to the table and took the napkin off my hand. “Is it bad?”

“I’m fine,” I snapped harshly. His hurt face made me cringe with guilt. “Just embarrassed,” I covered. “I’ll be okay. Go back to your seat. Let’s not make it worse.”

Noah looked mollified and he went back to his table. I smiled to mask my treacherous thoughts. “Really,” I added for Denise’s benefit.

I gathered the shards of glass and began to pile them into the bloody napkin. “I’m going to the ladies’ room to wash this off and throw away the glass.”

“I’ll go with you,” Denise offered.

“No!” She looked startled by my abrupt reply. I gave a glance to my right at Bones and then back to her again. Her eyes widened, and she got the picture. Part of it, anyway.

“Cris,” she addressed him. “Would you mind going with Cristine and seeing if they have any bandages? Randy says…” She paused and then continued wickedly, “Randy says you have a great deal of experience with bleeding wounds.”

“Ooh, are you a doctor?” Felicity cooed.

Bones stood and gave Denise an appreciative grin at her choice of words.

“Back in London I was many things,” he answered Felicity evasively.

I made a stop at the bar first. The bartender gave a wide-eyed look at my red-stained napkin.

“Gin. No glass, just the bottle,” I said bluntly.

“Um, miss, maybe you should-”

“Give the lady the bottle, mate,” Bones interjected, his eyes flashing green.

Without delay an unopened gin was thrust in my still-bleeding hand. I twisted the top off, threw away the glass and my bloody napkin, and took a long swallow. Then I led Bones out to the far corner of the parking lot, where