One Foot in the Grave

you. Is that clear enough?”

“So you’re fine with me getting wrinkled, gray, decrepit, and then dead?” I asked harshly. “Is that what you’re saying?”

Something that might have been pity flashed across his face.

“Kitten, sit down.”

“No.” A chill ran up my spine. Whatever it was, for him to look so compassionate all of a sudden, it must be bad. I’d take it on my feet. “You tell me. What don’t I know? Am I dying or something?” That would explain his lack of apprehension over my growing old.

Bones got up and stood in front of me. “Haven’t you ever wondered how long you would live? Ever truly pondered it?”

“No.” I laughed bitterly. “I thought I would get killed pretty quick with my job.”

“Think past that,” he went on. My heart began to pound. “You’re half vampire. You’ve never been sick, your body heals at an inhuman rate, and you can’t catch any of the diseases that afflict the living population. Even poisons or drugs need to be administered in massive doses before they affect you, so what makes you think you would only live to an average age?”

My mouth opened to argue, but then hung loosely. In a way, it felt similar to the night my mother told me what I was, because denial was my first response.

“You’re trying to trick me. I have a heartbeat, I breathe, get my period, shave my legs…I’m alive. I had a childhood!”

“You told me once your differences emerged most notably in puberty. Probably it was the hormonal surge, the same thing which can trigger congenital defects in humans that increased your nosferatu traits, and they’ve grown ever since. Your pulse and breathing only make you easier to kill, but you’re not human. You never have been. You just mimic them better than vampires do.”

“Liar!” I shouted.

He didn’t flinch. “Your skin hasn’t aged a day since you left me. Not one line, not one furrow. Granted, you’re only twenty-seven and wouldn’t be showing most signs of it until later, but still. There should be some difference in the pores, the texture…” He traced a finger down my cheek for emphasis. “But there’s not. Then there’s the blood.”

My mind reeled. “What blood?”

“Mine. Didn’t have a chance to tell you this before, because you left two days later. Probably doesn’t make a difference in the big picture, but here it is. The night we rescued your mum, you drank my blood. Not just a few drops for healing, but a good two pints. That alone would add fifty years to a normal human’s lifespan. To yours, who knows? Double, easily.”

I reared my hand back, but he grabbed it before I could slap him. “You bastard! You didn’t tell me that. You didn’t warn me!”

“Would it have changed your decision? You thought we were both going to die that night, if you recall, not to mention you would have done anything to save your mum. And truthfully, you could live to be as old as I am without it. Don’t take my word for it. Go see your boss. Look him in the eye and ask what he already knows. All the pathology they must have done on you over the years, I’m damn sure he knows. That’s why I don’t have to pressure you into becoming a vampire. With your mixed heritage and the occasional consumption of my blood, you’ll live as long as you want to, just as you are.”

This couldn’t be happening. The walls felt like they were collapsing on top of me. All I wanted to do was run from the truth and be alone, even from Bones. Especially from Bones.

Numbly I walked toward the door, but he blocked me. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I shoved him. “Out. I can’t look at you right now.”

He didn’t budge. “You’re in no condition to drive.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Why don’t you just open a vein for me, then? What’s another fifty years, right?”

Bones reached out, but I jerked back.

“Don’t touch me.”

I knew some of what I was feeling was irrational backlash anger. The proverbial shooting of the messenger and all that. But I couldn’t help it.

Bones dropped his hand. “Fine. Where do you want to go? I’ll drive you.”

“Take me home.”

He held open the door. “After you.”

Bones dropped me off at my house with a parting comment that he’d see me the following night. I didn’t reply to that. It caused too many mixed emotions, and I had enough to think about already.

Once I got inside, I called Don to tell him I was okay. As expected, there had been numerous messages on my machine from both him and Tate. I could understand their concern-my last call had been hours ago to say I was chasing after a vampire. Then there’d been no trace of me.

I fabricated a story about an hours-long chase that had ended at the construction site, coincidentally not that far from the GiGi Club. Here’s hoping Bones had left the vamp’s body there, because if not, I’d have to come up with an alternate web of lies. Then I told Don that I was beat from chasing down the vamp and wouldn’t be in to work until tomorrow. He didn’t question my recounting of the events. Why would he? I’d never lied to him before.

On the plus side, Don informed me that the two victims were at a hospital and were expected to make a full recovery. Little did he know it had taken a vampire’s intervention to save them from a vampire’s attack. Far be it from me to explain that irony to my boss.

Then I took a hot shower, washing all the remaining blood off me. If only it were so easy to get the mistakes from my life cleaned off. Bones’s voice kept echoing in my head. I’ve been looking for you every day since you left me…You’ll live as long as you want to, just as you are…You’ve had your shot at things, now let me have mine…

Yesterday, everything had made sense to me. I knew what I had to do, didn’t question my decisions-though some had hurt me unbearably-and I knew the direction my life was headed in. Today, all that had changed. I had far more questions than convictions, didn’t know what the hell I was doing, and had found out I might have far longer to fuck up my life than I’d previously imagined.

I wished I could talk to Denise. She had a way of cutting through the bullshit to find wisdom in chaos. But last night had been her wedding. Yeah, to say she was unavailable was to put it mildly.

I’d only call my mother if I wanted last-minute motivation to jump off a bridge. She was full of blind prejudice, not wisdom, and a call to her might make me seriously tempted to end it all. Though I had to admit, I was rather shocked that Don’s first words to me earlier hadn’t been “So where’s the vampire from the wedding?” My mother hadn’t tattled about Bones…yet. For her, that was showing remarkable restraint.

There was no one from my team I could discuss my personal upheaval with. Even those I counted as friends, Tate, Juan, and Cooper, couldn’t be trusted with this.

Noah, well…I had to talk to him, all right, but it wouldn’t be to confide my deepest secrets. It would be to tell him it was over between us. I’d let things go on too long, and that wasn’t right. Already I was a shit; letting more time drag by just made me a bigger one.

I paced around the house for another hour, tired but knowing I’d never sleep. My cat got bored of chasing my ankles as I attempted to wear holes in the carpet, and went upstairs. Still I paced, Bones’s words haunting me. I’ve been looking for you every day since you left me…You’ll live as long as you want to, just as you are…You’ve had your shot at things, now let me have mine…

“Who am I kidding?” I finally asked out loud in frustration. I was less concerned about Ian’s intentions to track me down, the contract on my life, or anything else, than about this: Did Bones and I actually have a chance together? With finding out about my longevity, the single biggest obstacle to our relationship had been removed. Sure, I worked for the government version of Graveslayers Inc. and my mother would rather poke needles in her eyes than see me date a vampire…but what if Bones was right? What if the two of us weren’t hopeless together? God, after all these years, I could hardly believe I had a chance to ponder that again.

Now the question was, What was I willing to risk to find out?