The combination of both had never happened before. Energized by the thought, I ran upstairs to shower again and get dressed. Showers were all I’d taken lately, since baths had proven to be slightly dangerous.
After a blissful trip to the mall, I was shocked when I glanced at my watch and saw that it was after six. My, how time flew when I wasn’t killing something. It was too late to drive home and give my mother an excuse about tonight, so I settled on calling her. I lied-again-and told her I’d run into a friend and would be seeing a movie and having a late dinner. I hoped whatever occurred tonight wouldn’t take too long. It would be nice to spend a weekend evening at home for once.
Speeding to arrive late anyway, I leapt from the truck as soon as I pulled into the familiar grotto. Paranoid, I’d taken my packages with me. It would be just my luck for someone to break in and steal my purchases, even at the edge of the woods. By the time I’d sprinted the remaining mile to the entrance, I was almost out of breath.
Bones was waiting near the opening with a scowl.
“Took your sweet bleedin’ time, I see. Oh, but I suppose everything in those bags is for me, so all’s forgiven. Guess I don’t have to wonder where you’ve been.”
Oops. Suddenly it occurred to me that arriving with an armful of presents bought with his money while not getting him anything might be construed as rude. Covering my faux pas, I straightened my shoulders in feigned offense.
“Actually, I did get you something. Here. It’s for…umm, your aching muscles and pains.”
I handed him the massager I’d bought for my grandfather, realizing too late the stupidity in the gesture. Vampires didn’t have aching muscles or pains.
He looked at the box with interest.
“Well, well. Five speeds. Heat and massage. Deep, penetrating action. Sure this isn’t yours?” That dark brow arched with volumes of meaning, and none of them therapeutic.
I snatched it back.
“Just say so if you don’t want it. You don’t have to be so crude.”
Bones gave me a pointed look. “Keep it and give it to your gramps like it was intended. Blimey, but you’re a bad liar. Good thing you manage to pull it off with the marks.”
Exasperated already, I fixed him with a scathing look.
“Can we get on to business? Like the details about tonight?”
“Oh, that.” We descended deeper into the cave. “Let’s see, your bloke’s over two hundred years old, naturally brown hair, but he changes his color periodically, talks with an accent, and is very quick in combat. Good news is, you can keep your knickers on. He’ll be smitten with you on sight. Any questions?”
“What’s his name?”
“He’ll probably make one up, most vampires do, but his name is Crispin. Get me when you’re ready. I’ll be watching telly.”
Bones left me at my makeshift dressing room, and I flipped through the dozen or so skank-wears he’d bought me until I pulled out a halter dress that almost skimmed the knees. Still too tight, but at least my boobs and butt didn’t hang out of it.
An hour of hot rollers, makeup, and high-heeled boots later, I was ready. Bones lounged sideways across the weathered chair, avidly watching Court TV. He loved the channel. Somehow, seeing a criminal get such a kick out of that program disturbed me. His favorite comment was that victims had less than half the rights of the offenders.
“Hate to pry you away, but I’m ready. You know, places to be, etc.”
He glanced up in mild pique. “This is a good part. They’re about to deliver a verdict.”
“Oh, for God’s sake! You’re worried about a verdict on a murder case when we’re about to commit one! Doesn’t that strike you as a little ironic?”
Suddenly he was in front of me, uncurling himself with the speed a striking rattler would envy.
“Yes, it does, pet. Let’s be off.”
“Aren’t you driving separately?” We never rode together, to avoid people making the connection.
He shrugged it off.
“Believe me, you’d never find the place. It’s a different sort of club, very particular. Come on, let’s not keep the gent waiting.”
Different sort of club. That was the biggest understatement I’d ever heard. It was far off the main highways, down a twisting back road that looked seldom traveled, and inside an industrial warehouse that was soundproofed. To the outside observer, it was simply another blue-collar industry building. Parking was around the back with only one narrow way in or out between tall trees that acted as a natural gate.
“What is this place?”
My eyes bugged even before we approached the door. There was a line of people waiting for entry. Bones simply passed by them while pulling me along up to the female at the door who I assumed was the bouncer. She was as tall and broad-shouldered as a linebacker, with a face that would have been beautiful except for its preponderance of masculinity.
“Trixie, missed you,” Bones greeted her. She actually had to bend down to return his kiss on the cheek.
“Been a while, Bones. Heard you’d left these parts.”
He grinned and she returned it, showing gold incisors in her smile. Nice.
“Don’t believe everything you hear. That’s how rumors get started.”
We slipped through the door, to the consternation of the waiting patrons. It was dark inside, with low beams of reduced light making brief flashes across the ceilings, and immediately I knew what kind of a “different” club it was.
There were vampires everywhere.
“What the hell is this?”
My whisper was low and savage, because plenty of things here had great hearing.
Bones waved an unconcerned hand to encompass the general surroundings.
“This, luv, is a vampire club. It doesn’t even really have a name, although the locals call it Bite. All sorts of things come in here to mix and mingle comfortably, not having to hide their true natures. Why, right over there you have some ghosts at the bar.”
My vision swung to where he gestured. Damned if there weren’t three transparent men sitting (sort of) on barstools, looking for all the world like a couple of regulars from Cheers. Well, Cheers Macabre, maybe. The energy that vibrated off the inhuman inhabitants made my entire body feel like it touched a live wire.
“My God…there’s so many of them…”
And there were. A couple hundred, at least.
“I hadn’t known there were that many vampires in the world…” I went on in disbelief.
“Kitten,” Bones said patiently, “’round five percent of the population is undead. We’re in every state, every nation, and we have been for a very long time. Now, I give you, there are certain areas where you’ll find more of us. Ohio happens to be one of them. I told you it has a thinner line separating the natural and the paranormal, so the whole region gives off a faint charge. The younger ones love that. Find it invigorating.”
“You’re telling me my state is…a vampire hot spot?”
A nod. “Don’t feel too unlucky. There are dozens around the globe.”
Something brushed past, and my radar went haywire as I craned my neck to see who, or what, had just slipped by.
“What was that?” I whispered, having to press my mouth nearly to his ear to be heard. They were a noisy bunch of immortals.
“What?” He glanced in the direction I stared.
“That.” Impatiently. “That…thing. It’s not a vampire, I can tell, but it’s definitely not human. What is it?” It being of male gender, though I wouldn’t have been sure of anything, and looking human but not quite.
“Oh, him. He’s a ghoul. Flesh-eater. You know, like Night of the Living Dead, only they don’t walk so funny or look as hideous.”
Flesh-eater. My stomach heaved at the thought.
“Here.” He pointed to the bar. There was an empty seat near the ghosts-or would the politically correct term be living-impaired? “Wait there, have a drink. Your bloke will show up soon.”
