She forgot what she was going to say as he dipped his head down to her neck. Chills rippled through her as his tongue scorched her flesh.
Grace moaned at the sensory overload of his hands and the hot water running over her body. She only vaguely felt him pull the cloth from her breasts before he took one in his mouth.
She hissed in pleasure as his tongue swirled around the taut peak, flicking across her flesh and making her burn.
He lowered her down in the tub, to lean against the sloping back. The contrast of the cool porcelain at her back and his warm body in front of her while the water poured down over the two of them titillated her in a way she'd never imagined.
Never before had she truly appreciated the size of the huge antique tub, but at the moment, she wouldn't have traded it for anything.
'Touch me, Grace,' he said hoarsely, taking her hand into his and leading it to his swollen shaft. 'I want to feel your hands on me.'
He shuddered as she stroked the velvety hardness of him.
Julian closed his eyes at the feelings swirling through him. Her touch wasn't just physical, it touched him on a level that was undefinable. Unbelievable.
He wanted more of her. He wanted
'I love your hands on me,' he breathed as she cupped him. Oh, gods, how he ached for her. How he wished for just one moment she was really making love to
Making love to him with her heart.
Pain sliced through his chest. No matter how many times he had sex, the end result was the same. It always hurt. If not his body, then deep in his soul.
It was true and he knew it.
Grace felt him tense. 'Did I hurt you?' she asked, pulling her hand away.
He shook his head, then placed his hands on each side of her neck and kissed her deeply. Suddenly, his kiss intensified as if he were trying to prove something to both of them.
He slid his hand down her arm to capture her hand in his. He laced his fingers through hers, then moved his hand to cup her between her legs.
Grace moaned as he stroked her with their hands entwined. It was the most erotic thing she had ever experienced.
She shook all over as he quickened the rhythm of their joined fingers against her. And when he plunged their fingers inside her, she cried out in pleasure.
'That's it,' he breathed in her ear. 'Feel us joined.'
Breathless, Grace clutched at his shoulders with her other arm, her body on fire. Oh, he was an incredible lover!
Suddenly, he moved their hands away, then lifted one of her legs to curl about his waist.
Grace followed his lead, until she realized what he meant to do. He was preparing to drive himself into her.
'No!' she gasped, shoving at him. 'Julian, you can't.'
His eyes burned her with his need, his raw hunger. 'I want at least this much of you, Grace. Now, let me have it.'
She almost did.
Until something strange happened to his eyes. They turned a full shade darker, the pupils dilating.
Julian froze. His breathing labored, he closed his eyes as if struggling against an unseen attacker.
With a curse, he turned away from her. 'Run!' he said.
She didn't hesitate.
Grace pulled herself out from under him, grabbed the towel and ran for the door. But she couldn't leave him.
Pausing at the door, she looked back and watched as he went down on all fours and writhed as if he were being tortured.
She heard him strike the tub with his fist as he growled in pain.
Her heart pounded as he struggled. If only she knew what to do.
Finally, he collapsed in the tub.
Terrified and shaking, she took three tentative steps back into the bathroom, ready to run if he reached for her.
He rested on his side with his eyes closed. His breathing ragged, he looked weak and drained while the water pelted him, plastering his dark gold hair against his face.
She turned the water off.
Still, he didn't move.
'Julian?'
He opened his eyes. 'Did I scare you?'
'A little,' she answered honestly.
He took a deep, tortured breath, then sat up slowly. He didn't look at her. His gaze was focused somewhere past her shoulder.
'I'm not going to be able to fight that,' he said after a long pause. He looked at her. 'We're fooling ourselves, Grace. Let me take you now while I'm calm.'
'Is that really what you want?'
Julian ground his teeth at her question. No, it wasn't what he wanted. But what he wanted was beyond his ability to claim.
He wanted things the gods had never meant for him to have. Things he dared not name, because the naming of them made their absence all the more unbearable.
'I just wish I could die.'
Grace flinched at the heartfelt words. How she wished she could soothe him. Take away his pain.
'I know,' she said, her voice thick with unshed tears for him. She wrapped her arms around his sleek, strong shoulders and held him tight against her.
To her amazement, he laid his cheek against hers.
Neither said a word as they held each other.
Finally, Julian withdrew. 'We'd better stop before…'
He didn't finish the sentence, but then he didn't have to. Grace had already seen the consequences and had no wish for a repeat.
She left him in the bathroom and went to dress.
Julian rose slowly from the tub, then toweled himself dry. He heard Grace in her room, opening the door to her second closet, and in his mind an image of her naked body scorched him.
A crippling wave of desire crashed through him with such force, that it almost sent him back to the floor.
He braced his arms against the vanity as he fought with himself. 'I can't live like this anymore,' he breathed. 'I am not an animal.'
He looked up and saw his father in the mirror. He glared at his reflection, hating it.
He could feel the sting of the whip as his father beat him until he could barely stand.
In the back of his mind, he could see the look of hatred on his father's face as he knocked him to the ground, and grabbed him in a choking headlock. Julian had kicked and fought, but at fourteen, he'd been too young, too inexperienced, to loosen the commander's hold.
His face contorted by a contemptuous sneer, his father had dragged his dagger down Julian's cheek, laying it open to the bone. And all because his father had caught his wife staring at Julian while they ate.
The throbbing pain of the cut had been unbearable and the blood had poured down his face the rest of the day. By the next morning, the wound had vanished without a trace.