Fantasy Lover

Until Grace had reached out and found the human side of him…

Grace watched a myriad of emotions cross Julian's face. Anger, confusion, horror, and finally agony. She walked to his side of the car, but he refused to let her touch him.

'Don't you see?' he said, his tone raw from his emotions. 'I don't know who I am anymore. I knew who I was in Macedonia, and then I became this.' He held his arm up so that she could see the words Priapus had burned into his forearm. 'And then you changed that,' he said, looking at her.

The anguish in his eyes tore through her. 'Why did you have to change me, Grace? Why couldn't you have left me as I was? I'd taught myself to feel nothing anymore. I just came, did what I was told, and left. I no longer wanted anything. And now…' He looked around him like a man caught in the middle of a nightmare he couldn't escape.

She reached for him. 'Julian-'

Shaking his head, he stepped away from her grasp. 'No!' He raked his hand through his hair. 'I don't know where I belong anymore. You don't understand.'

'Then tell me,' she begged.

'How can I tell you what it's like to walk between two worlds? To be despised by both? I am neither man nor god, I am a hybrid abomination. You have no idea how I grew up. My mother passed me off to my father who passed me off to his wife who passed me around to anyone who could get me out of her sight. And for the last twenty centuries, I have been bartered and sold. I have spent my entire life searching for someplace to call home. Someone who would want me, and not my face, or my body.' The tormented look in his eyes burned her.

'I want you, Julian.'

'No you don't. How could you?'

She gaped at his question. 'How could I not? My God, I've never in my life wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you.'

'It's lust you feel.'

Now, that made her angry. How dare he dismiss her feelings as something so trivial. Her feelings for him ran much deeper than mere lust, they reached all the way to her soul. 'Don't tell me what I feel. I'm not a child.'

Julian shook his head, unable to believe her words. It was the curse. It had to be. No one could love him. No one ever had; not since the moment he'd been born.

For Grace to love him…

It would be a miracle. It would be…

Pure bliss. And he had not been born to feel bliss.

You will suffer as no man ever has.

This was just another trick of the gods. Another cruel hoax sent to punish him.

He was tired now. Weary and exhausted from the fight. He just wanted peace from the pain. A haven from the frightening feelings he felt every time he looked at her.

Grace clenched her teeth at the denial she saw in Julian's eyes. But then, who could blame him?

He had been hurt so many times. But somehow, some way, she was going to prove to him just how much he meant to her.

She had to. Because losing him would kill her.

Chapter 15

Julian kept a distance between them for the rest of the weekend. No matter what Grace tried to do to break through the intangible wall around him, he pushed her away.

He wouldn't even let her read to him. Disheartened, she went to work on Monday morning, but she shouldn't have bothered. She couldn't focus on anything except celestial blue eyes filled with unshared turmoil. 'Grace Alexander?'

Grace looked up from her desk to see an incredibly beautiful blond woman in her early twenties standing in the doorway. Looking as if she'd just stepped off a fashion runway in Europe, the statuesque beauty was dressed in a red silk Armani suit with matching hose and shoes.

'I'm sorry,' Grace said to the woman. 'I'm closed. If you want to call tomorrow-'

'Do I look like I need a sex therapist?' Offhand, no. But then, Grace had learned a long time ago not to make snap judgments about people's problems. Uninvited, the woman sauntered into her office with a graceful, arrogant stride that seemed oddly familiar. She walked over to the wall where Grace's certificates and degrees were hung.

'Impressive,' she said, but her tone implied otherwise. She turned to give Grace a thorough once-over, and by the sneer on her lovely face, Grace could tell the woman found her seriously lacking. 'You're not pretty enough for him, you know. Too short, too wide. And wherever did you find that dress?'

Completely offended, Grace went rigid. 'I beg your pardon?'

The woman ignored her question. 'Tell me, doesn't it just pain you to be around a man who looks like Julian, knowing if he had a choice, he'd never want to be with you? He's so lean and graceful. Strong and fierce. I know you've never had a man like him want you, and you never will again.'

Stunned, Grace couldn't speak.

She didn't have to; the woman continued without pausing. 'His father was like that, too. Imagine Julian with black hair. A little shorter and stockier, and not nearly as refined. Still, that man had a way with his hands that was… mmm…'

Aphrodite smiled reflectively, her eyes unfocused. 'Of course, Diokles was scarred abysmally from his battles. He had this one horrible mark that ran the whole length of his left cheek.'

Her gaze narrowed in anger. 'I'll never forget the day he took a dagger to Julian's face, trying to scar it like his. I would say Diokles lived to regret that transgression, but I made certain he didn't. Julian is physical perfection, and I shall never let anyone mar the beauty I gave him.'

The cold, calculating look Aphrodite delivered to her chilled Grace all the way to her bones.

'I won't share my son with you.'

The possessiveness of Aphrodite's words ignited Grace's anger. How dare she show up now and say such a thing. 'If Julian means so much to you, then why did you abandon him?'

Aphrodite glared at her. 'Do you think I had a choice? Zeus refused ambrosia to him, and no mortal can live on Olympus. Before I could even protest, Hermes swept him out of my arms and took him to his father.'

Grace saw the horror on Aphrodite's face as she relived that moment.

'My grief at his loss was beyond human measure. Inconsolable, I locked myself away, and when I was finally able to emerge, fourteen years had passed on earth. I barely recognized the baby I had suckled. And he hated me.'

Aphrodite's eyes turned shiny as if she were fighting back tears. 'You have no idea what it's like to be a mother, and have the child you carried in your womb curse your very name.'

Grace sympathized with her grief, but it was Julian she loved, and Julian's pain that concerned her most. 'Did you ever try to tell him how you feel?'

'Of course I did,' Aphrodite snapped. 'I sent Eros to him, offering him my gifts. He sent them back with words no son should ever utter about his mother.'

'He was hurt.'

'So was I,' Aphrodite shrieked. Her entire body shook with her rage.

Apprehensive and more than a bit scared of what an angry goddess could do to her, Grace watched as Aphrodite closed her eyes, took a deep breath and calmed herself.

When Aphrodite spoke again, her tone and body were rigid and sharp. 'Even so, I sent Eros back with more offerings for Julian. He spurned every one. I was forced to watch as Julian vindictively swore his loyalty and service to Athena.' She spat the name as if she despised it.

'It was in her name he conquered cities with the birth gifts I had bestowed upon him; the might of Ares, the temperance of Apollo, the blessings of the Muses and Graces. I even dipped him in the