She would be wise to listen to him. Wanting him had brought her satisfaction only once and, as he predicted, pain many times. But…'You can't know that I'm not—'
'Yes,' he said firmly, 'I can.'
Her pride meant nothing in the face of an answer. 'How can you know? Beyond any doubt?' Surely she would not have desired him this strongly if they were not meant to be together. Surely she would be able to consume someone else's blood.
'I would sense it and be…unable to take another.'
Unlike her, he was strong, so of course he had had other lovers since their night together. Nymphs weakened without sex. 'You've had others?' she found herself asking anyway.
A terse nod.
She wanted to vomit. She had been with no one else, had hoped he would come only to her to renew his strength. 'I would have helped you.'
'I did not want you.'
Her stomach churned with more of that horrible sickness. Did she like being hurt? It would seem so, as she continued to invite him to cut down her feminine pride. 'I could kill every woman you've touched. You know that, yes?'
He stiffened, every muscle in his body going taut. And though she could only see his profile, she glimpsed the hatred rippling under the surface of his cheeks. Saw the furious onyx glow in his eyes. 'Spoken like a true parasite.'
Parasite? That's how he viewed her? Oh, that hurt. 'I'm not asking more of you than you are willing to give, Shivawn. I'm only asking for a chance to be the woman to see to your needs. Just for a little while.'
Finally he faced her, twisting atop the saddle. She could not read his expression. 'Do you realize how pathetic you sound?' A deadly calm laced the words.
Yes, she did. Still she pushed him, refusing to be embarrassed by her desire. 'I want you in my bed. That's all. I'll do anything to get you there. Usually you'll bed anything female. Why not me?'
The cliff seemed to tilt, its incline becoming impossible for the centaur. Silent now, Shivawn dismounted and shooed him away with a polite, 'Thank you. You may return to the stable on your own.'
The horse-man trotted off.
Shivawn watched until the last clop of hooves could be heard. If he knew she was still beside him, he gave no hint. What thoughts tumbled through his head?
'I want you in my bed,' she repeated to gain his attention.
'You had me in your bed.'
Strands of her dark hair whipped in her face, she shook so badly. Motions clipped, she hooked them behind her ears. 'Yes, and I want you there again.'
He pushed out a breath as he turned to her. His face was chiseled perfection, not a single flaw. 'You are forcing me to say something you will not like hearing.'
Again she felt sick, but she could not stop herself. She had to know, beyond any doubt, what was keeping him from her. 'What? Say it.'
'Are you sure you wish to know?'
Her blood chilled, ice crystallizing in her muscles and bones. 'Yes. Tell me.' Desperation dripped from each word. She hated herself for it, but it was too strong to hide.
'Bedding you was not…good for me. I did not even come.'
'But…but…' Oh, gods. His proclamation echoed in her ears. Bedding you was not good for me. 'You're lying. You have to be.'
'No.'
Her mouth floundered open and closed. The truth of his claim was there, in his hardened expression. She'd never experienced pleasure as she had with Shivawn and he had felt nothing? She'd known her bite had bothered him, but she hadn't realized his unhappiness had lingered all through the night.
Mortification consumed her, chomping her pride into little pieces before spitting out the bones.
'I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you, but…'
Still reeling, she resumed her journey up the cliff, now desperate to escape him. To hide. How could she have been so wrong? She'd had a few other lovers over the years, yet none of them had complained. None had left unsatisfied.
That you know of.
For a moment she felt as if spiders were crawling over her skin, and she scratched at her arms. For so long she had dreamed of winning this man's heart. Her every action had been an attempt to impress or charm him.
She was not a warrior, not at heart, but she had trained as one, knowing Layel would not allow her to accompany him to the nymph stronghold otherwise. She had fought, she had killed. For Shivawn. Blood coated her hands. Always. Nothing cleaned them. For Shivawn.
She had risen through the ranks of the vampire army by any and every means necessary.
For Shivawn.
Yet he had never wanted her, not even the time he'd given himself to her. A nymph—a creature renowned for being more sensual than selective—found her so unappealing, he had left her bed still hard and aching. Had probably bedded another woman immediately afterward to relieve the ache.
'Alyssa,' he said softly, and she heard him as clearly as if he were shouting. Damn it, she hadn't put much distance between them.
Her feet almost hit the ground, even her ability to float trying to abandon her. Keep moving. Don't slow. 'Did you come to me only because Joachim's human refused you? Did you not desire me for me, even a little?' Alyssa had caught him leaving Joachim's room one evening, the one evening they'd spent together, and he had reeked of human.
His eyes had been dark, haunted, and she'd later learned that Shivawn's human slave had chosen the other nymph warrior as her mate, leaving Shivawn without a woman. And because nymphs needed sex to survive there had been no better time for Alyssa's seduction of him. She had thought, Finally. He will have me. He will desire me as I desire him.
But I could not bring him to orgasm. Oh, gods, oh, gods. 'Did you?'
'Yes, I used you. And, no, I did not want you.'
'Did you—' gods, why are you doing this to yourself? '—did you think of her when you were inside me?'
There was a painful, tension-filled pause. 'Does it matter?'
Oh, gods. That was answer enough, yet she still had to hear him say it. Maybe then her love for him would die. Maybe then her obsession would wane. 'It matters. Tell me. Say it.'
He uttered another sigh. 'Then, yes. I did. But even then…'
Even then he could not come. Curse him! And curse herself!
Her nails elongated as she curled her fingers into fists, cutting past skin, drawing her own blood. She was panting, she realized. 'You should not have used me while thinking of another.'
'No, and for that I'm sorry.'
She laughed bitterly, felt his eyes boring into her back. 'I must be like all the other women in your life, throwing myself at you, willing to accept any scrap of affection you toss my way. Not that you ever tossed me a moment to cherish. A moment to sigh over in the dark of night, to dream of for years to come and to giggle over with friends.' If she'd had any friends.
'You could not help yourself. The allure of the nymph is impossible to ignore.'
But no other nymph had made her crave things she could never have. 'Do you laugh about us when you are alone?' she asked, striving for an unconcerned tone. Inside, she still seethed. What right did Shivawn have to hurt her like this? To use her and humiliate her? To treat her as beneath him? None. An idea took root in her mind and refused to leave. No, I cannot do it.
But he deserves it.
'Laugh? At who?' He quickened his step until he was beside her, obviously no longer content to lag behind.
She pushed the snow-white branch of a ghost tree from her path, taking a small bit of satisfaction when it slapped Shivawn in the cheek and he grunted. 'At the women,' she said. 'At your females. At those of us who
