Succubus Blues

 He backed off from the kiss, still holding on to me as he exhaled, disappointment all over his face. 'Still worried about that?'

 'You can't understand. I'm sorry. I just can't...'

 'Georgina, nothing traumatic happened the last time we kissed. Short of your reaction, I mean.'

 'I know, but it's not that simple.'

 'Nothing happened,' he repeated, an unfamiliar hardness in his voice.

 'I know, but—'

 My mouth hung there mid-sentence as I replayed his words. Nothing happened. No, something had happened that night at the concert, kissing in the back hallway. I'd seen Roman stagger from the kiss. But me... what had happened to me? What had I felt? Nothing. A kiss that intense, a kiss with someone strong, a kiss with someone I wanted so badly should have triggered something. Even with a low energy yield like Warren, a deep kiss would wake up my succubus instinct, start to connect us, even if no significant transfer took place. Kissing Roman like that—especially when he ostensibly had a reaction—should have resulted in some kind of feeling on my end. Some sensation. Yet, there had been nothing. Nothing at all.

 I had written it off to too much alcohol at the time. But that was ridiculous. I drank all the time before getting a fix. Alcohol could muddle my senses—as it obviously had that night—but no amount of intoxication could completely negate the sensation of anima transfer. Nothing could. I had been too trashed to realize the truth. Alcohol or no, I would always feel something from sexual or intimate physical contact unless...

 Unless I was with another immortal.

 I jerked away from Roman, breaking his hold on me. His expression registered surprise, immediately replaced by sudden understanding. Those beautiful eyes sparkling dangerously, he laughed.

 'Took you long enough.'

CHAPTER 22

 'You faked it... faked being affected by me,' I realized, shock making my words come out thick and faltering.

 Still chuckling, he took a step toward me, and I cringed, frantically trying to find a way to run, to get out of my own apartment. What had moments ago seemed safe and inviting now became close and stifling. My apartment was too small, the door too far away. I couldn't breathe. The amusement on Roman's face shifted to astonishment.

 'What's the matter? What are you afraid of?'

 'What do you think I'm afraid of?'

 He blinked. 'Me?'

 'Yes, you. You kill immortals.'

 'Well, yeah,' he admitted, 'but I'd never hurt you. Never. You know that, don't you?' I didn't answer. 'Don't you?'

 I backed up farther, not that I had anywhere to go. I was faced in such a way as to only keep moving toward my bedroom, not toward the front door. That wasn't likely to do any good.

 Roman still seemed floored at my reaction. 'Come on, I can't believe this. I would never do anything to you. I'm half in love with you. Hell, do you know what a wrench you've already thrown into this operation?'

 'Me? What have I done?'

 'What have you done? You've wrapped my heart around your little finger, that's what you've done. That day... when you solicited me at the bookstore? I couldn't believe my luck. I'd been watching you all week, you know, trying to learn your habits. Christ, I'll never forget the first day I saw you. How feisty you where. How beautiful. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for you right then and there. And later... when you wouldn't go out with me after the signing? I couldn't believe it. You were originally going to be my first target, you know. But I couldn't do it. Not after I'd talked to you. Not after I'd realized what you are.'

 I swallowed, curious in spite of myself. 'What—what am I?'

 He took a step toward me, a rueful half-smile on his handsome face. 'A succubus who doesn't want to be a succubus. A succubus who wants to be human.'

 'No, that's not true...'

 'Of course it is. You're like me. You don't play by the rules. You're tired of the system. You don't let them push you into the role they've dictated for you. God, I couldn't believe it, watching you. The more you seemed interested in me, the more you tried to back off. You think that's normal for a succubus? It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen—not to mention the most frustrating. That's why I finally decided to call you out today. I couldn't decide if you'd really cut me off for my own good or were just interested in someone else now—like Mortensen.'

 'Wait—that's why you arranged that stupid little game today? For your own fucking ego gratification?'

 Roman shrugged haplessly, still looking self-satisfied. 'It sounds so shallow when you put it like that. I mean, okay, it was pretty stupid. And maybe a little childish. But I had to know where your affection stood. You can't imagine how touching it was to see you so worried about me—not to mention the fact that you checked on me first. That was the real kicker: I got priority over the others.'

 I almost protested that I'd actually worried about Seth first, having only called Roman beforehand because I thought Seth was already accounted for. Fortunately, I had enough sense to keep my mouth shut on that issue. Better to let Roman think he'd proven his point.

 'You have issues,' I said instead, perhaps unwisely. 'Making me jump through hoops like that. Me and the other immortals.'

 'Perhaps. And I am sorry for any discomfort I caused you, but as for the others?' He shook his head. 'It's good for them. They need it, Georgina. I mean, doesn't it piss you off? What they've done to you? You're obviously not happy with your lot, but do you think the folks in charge are going to let you change things? No. No more than they're going to give me or my kind a break. The system is flawed. They're locked in their fucking 'this is good' and 'this is evil' mentality. No gray area. No mutability. That's why I go around and do what I do. They need the wake- up call. They need to know they aren't the be all and end all of sin and salvation. Some of us are still fighting.'

 'Go around... How often do you do this? This killing thing?'

 'Oh, not that often. Every twenty to fifty years or so. Sometimes a century. Doing it sort of cleanses me for a while, and then, over the years, I'll start getting pissed off at the whole system again and stake out a new place, a new set of immortals.'

 'Is it always the same pattern?' I remembered Jerome's symbols. 'The warning phase... then the main attack phase?'

 Roman brightened. 'Well, well, haven't you done your homework. Yes, it usually works that way. Take out a few lesser immortals first. They're easy targets, even if I always feel a little guilty about it. Really, they're as much victims of the system as you and I are. Still, messing with them freaks out the higher immortals, and then the stage is set to move on to the main attraction.'

 'Jerome,' I stated grimly.

 'Who?'

 'Jerome... the local archdemon.' I hesitated. 'Your father.'

 'Oh. Him.'

 'What's that supposed to mean? You don't sound like he's a big deal.'

 'In the grand scheme of things, he's not.'

 'Yeah... but he's your father...'

 'So? Our relationship—or lack thereof—doesn't really change anything.'

 Jerome had said almost the exact same thing about Roman. Baffled, I sat down on the arm of a nearby chair since it appeared my imminent destruction wasn't quite so imminent after all. 'But isn't he... isn't he the 'real target'—the higher immortal you're here to kill?'

 Roman shook his head, face turning serious. 'No. That's not how the pattern works. After I move on from the lesser immortals, I focus in on the local bigwig. The real powerhouse in the area. That tends to unsettle people