I grinned and extended my hand, speaking the first name that came to mind. 'I'm Clara.'
'Jude.'
'Hey, Jude.'
He sighed.
'Sorry,' I said. 'Couldn't resist.'
'You and everyone else.'
'You here alone?' I asked.
He looked embarrassed and absentmindedly rubbed the empty finger his wedding ring had been on the last time I saw him. 'Yeah.'
'Me too.'
He looked me over, attempting covertness and not doing a good job. 'I find that hard to believe.'
'Well…' I looked down at my drink, playing with its edge. 'It's kind of a long story…'
And slowly, skillfully, I crafted a tale about how I'd come here to meet a guy and how he'd stood me up. He was supposed to go to a sex club with me, though I didn't come right out and say that immediately. That would have been too much for someone like Jude, someone who was intrigued but still nervous about the whole idea of exotic sexuality. So, I spoke vaguely at first, using innuendoes, hinting at my own interest in exhibitionism, how I just wanted to go see what a place like that was all about.
As I concluded, I used the same line he'd used in the bookstore. 'I feel like such a pervert. Honestly…I don't know why I'm telling you this. I don't even know you. It's just…' I looked up at him with big blue eyes. 'You're easy to talk to.'
A long silence followed as Jude held my gaze. 'I don't think…I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're saying…what you want…'
Snick! I started reeling in the line.
'Really?'
'Yeah…I mean, sometimes…I've kind of…you know, wanted…'
'Really?'
He nodded.
I allowed a five-second hesitation. 'You want to go with me? Just to, you know, watch?'
After a bit of rumination, Jude agreed. Unsurprisingly, he didn't know where any sex clubs were in the city. Also unsurprisingly, I did.
I didn't even look back at my friends as Jude and I left the bar. I hadn't clocked it or anything, but I was pretty sure my solicitation had been accomplished in record time. That'd teach the gang to question my pro status.
The club we went to was one I'd visited a number of times before. I'd been to better ones in my day, but I liked this one simply because of its name: Insolence.
Establishments that catered to sex and fetishism all operated in different ways. In places where everyone expected to participate—like swingers' clubs—admission was strictly regulated. Single girls always got into places like that, and couples usually only had a few requirements. Single guys had a harder time. In a place like Insolence that was focused primarily on watching, admission was more lax. We simply had to pay our cover, and we were in. Mine was still cheaper, though.
The place was packed and had a dance club kind of feel. Techno music pulsed through the darkened room, the only illumination coming from recessed lights that shone blue and purple. Most of this light focused down on roped off areas that were reserved for those who wanted to 'perform.' They were like small stages that the club- goers could gather around. Some of the stages were themed—one with a doctor's office and operating table setup —while most were couches and beds. There appeared to be no system about who could use them. It was a first- come, first-served system, and since about half the platforms were empty, there didn't seem to be too much urgency. But the spectators eagerly crowded around those areas that were occupied, people craning their necks to get a better view.
'There sure are a lot of guys here,' Jude told me as we pressed our way through the people.
'It's the way of the world,' I told him.
'You think guys are more interested in this stuff than women?'
'To a certain extent, yeah. Guys tend to be more visual, so stuff like this is about as good as it gets. Plenty of girls are into it too—just harder to get them to come out to something like this.' I promptly shut up, immediately realizing I sounded a bit too knowledgeable for a shy novice.
We finally made our way up to the edge of a roped-off area. There, we watched a man thrusting eagerly into a woman bent over an elegantly set dining room table. Jude and I studied them for a while, neither of us saying a word. We then moved on to the next couple, a man and woman going at it on an ordinary bed. She wore a shiny leather bustier and hiked-up skirt. After the third couple—pressed up against a wall—Jude finally spoke.
'These people aren't what I expected.'
'How so?' I asked.
'They just look…ordinary.'
I laughed. 'Because they are. What'd you expect, porn star couples coming in off the streets?'
'Well, no.' I suspected he was blushing in the darkness.
'Everyone's entitled to do what's sexy to them. And really, when you see how they're getting into it…' My gaze drifted to the couple going at it against the wall. Their eye contact was so powerful, so intense…you could totally see how much they aroused each other. I shivered. 'Yeah, this is all sexy, even if it's not airbrushed. This is real. That's what gives it its edge.'
He didn't answer but glanced around as though he was reassessing it all. As he did, I studied his profile. He wasn't quite six-foot, but he had a nice upper body and neatly styled, sandy blond hair. He turned toward me, sensing my scrutiny.
'You know,' I said, 'if you're so concerned about raising the bar around here…well, we're pretty attractive.'
He didn't get it at first. 'Yeah, I suppose we—oh. Oh.' His brown eyes went wide.
I looked back at the wall couple. 'We're already here. We could really give these people something to watch.'
His eyes grew wider still, like they might pop out. 'I…I couldn't. I mean. God. Not in front of all these people. And what if someone I know is here…'
'I doubt it. Besides, what are they going to do? If they tell anyone, they'd have to acknowledge that they were here too.' I caught hold of his hand. 'Come on, I know you're interested.'
'Yeah,' he admitted. 'But I've never…I don't think I could…'
I tugged him toward one of the stages. 'You gotta start sometime. It's easy.'
Jude looked terrified but let me drag him. 'You act like you've done this before. I thought it was all new.'
'It is.'
'You sure? Maybe you just play innocent and then seduce random men into crazy sexual acts.'
I scoffed. 'That's ridiculous.'
We'd barely ducked under the stage's ropes when a mob suddenly swarmed around us. I doubted this had as much to do with us in particular—yet—as it did the fact that we were a new couple. Ah, variety. The spice of life.
Jude still looked terrified, but I didn't have the patience for his hesitancy anymore. The performer in me had clicked on. All those people were waiting and watching, and I had to deliver.
One of our props was a chaise lounge covered in white velvet that glowed blue under the lights. White, I decided, probably hid certain stains better than other colors.
'Come on,' I said, pushing Jude toward the chaise. 'Lie down.'
He did, but still looked panicked. 'Clara—'
'You're already here,' I said sharply. 'What are you going to do? You going to slink off in front of all these people? You didn't strike me as a coward when I first met you.'
I'd become someone else now, someone commanding and terrifying. He shook his head.
I climbed onto the chaise with him, straddling his hips with my legs. The lack of energy within me suddenly
