I refused to look at him. 'I don't want to be judged.'
'Am I judging you? Sounds more like you're judging yourself, which really, is the way it should be. The best jury of your peers that you'll ever find is…well, you. Only you know what you're capable of and what you want to be.'
'Did you find me just to delve into the philosophy of my morals?' I grumbled.
'Nah,' he said. 'Whenever I find you, I just sort of go with this free-form thing and see where the mood takes me.'
'Maybe the mood could take you to Jerome.'
'That's your quest, not mine. Any luck?'
Again, I faced that dilemma. Who could I tell what? Grace, Roman…so many players on the board now and no clear opponent. 'Some,' I said at last.
'Oh-ho,' he laughed. 'You could be an angel with an answer like that.'
'Well, I don't think it's going to be enough to find Jerome, not unless a miracle happens.' The drive was short. I pulled up outside my building, getting a lucky front spot.
Carter turned and winked at me. 'Well, you know my take on those. Thanks for the lift.'
'Wait,' I said, realizing he was about to teleport away. 'I have a question.'
He arched an eyebrow. 'Oh?'
'How come when mortals want things, their only option is to make a deal with Hell and sell their soul? Why can't they make deals with God in exchange for good behavior?'
It was another of those rare moments when I'd surprised Carter. I waited for the glib answer I'd mentioned to Seth, something along the lines of goodness being its own reward. The angel considered for several seconds.
'Humans make those deals all the time,' he said finally. 'They just don't make them with God.'
'Then who are they making them with?' I exclaimed.
'Themselves.' He vanished.
'Fucking angels,' I muttered.
I arrived in my apartment only minutes before Dante showed up. 'Oh, I'm in luck,' he said, seeing me on the couch with Aubrey. 'You seem to always be busy lately.'
I felt a small pang of guilt at what I'd done tonight. A lie was still a lie, no matter who you were lying to.
'I'm saving Seattle,' I explained, making room for him beside me.
He sat down, clean-shaven for a change and looking good in his usual jeans, thermal shirt, watch, and boots. His insecurity was driving him to buy me gifts lately, but I realized I'd need to step it up and get him some wardrobe variety once all this madness ended.
'And how's that going exactly?'
Everyone kept asking me that. Seth. Carter. Dante. And my answer was lame each time. 'Not so great, actually. I think tomorrow'll be the day it all resolves, and Jerome's going to be lost forever. Even if he's not, it'll be too late for him to get his old position back. His best-case scenario'll be someone's lieutenant in northern Michigan.'
Dante put his arm around me and his feet on my coffee table. 'Well, succubus, don't take this wrong way, but I'll be glad when this is over, new archdemon or no. I'm tired of you being stressed all the time, and I'm tired of not getting any face time with you.' He toyed with the strands of my hair. 'I'm also kind of tired of how frizzy this is. Isn't there some product you can use?'
'Hey,' I said. 'Not funny. What happened to internal beauty?'
He seemed undaunted. 'You've got plenty of that. I just want the whole package. Besides, the look on your face was great when I said that.'
His hand slipped from around my waist to trace patterns between my hip and thigh. It wasn't overtly sexual but I had a feeling that between that and his good mood-which I was happy for, don't get me wrong-there was an amorous advance in my future.
'Will you read my cards?' I asked abruptly.
He gave me a shocked look. 'Tarot cards?'
'Yeah.'
'You know that's all bullshit.'
'It is when you bend the truth for your clients. Please? Just do a quick one.'
'Fine. I'll give you a card-of-the-day one. All the mysteries of the universe in one card.' I could hear the eye roll in his voice as he got up to get his cards out of his satchel. He usually kept them on him in the event of an impromptu client opportunity.
'Don't lie to me,' I warned. 'I know more than your clients.'
'Wouldn't dream of it,' he said, deftly shuffling the cards. I'd seen him scam clients plenty of times, telling them what they wanted to hear. Seeing as I didn't know what I wanted, I supposed that excluded me from that category. After the cards were thoroughly randomized, he had me cut them, and then he neatly restacked them. 'Draw.'
I took the first card off the top and flipped it over. 'Fuck.'
The Five of Cups. Spilled chalices. Lost hopes and dreams. Dante affirmed as much.
'Disappointment's ahead, the loss of something you had. It can be a failure or inability to resolve a recurring problem. Pretty typical reading for you.'
'What's that supposed to mean?'
'Doom and gloom always surround you. I didn't make up that palm reading for you.' That had been even worse than this. 'It's probably just verifying that Jerome's gone for good-if you even want to believe in this. And, hey, look.' He tapped the card. 'One cup stayed upright. Not all hope is lost.'
I wondered about that as I thought about losing Seth and the man in the dream. I wondered also if Roman was right, if it was true that I wouldn't know what to do if I ever was actually happy.
As I suspected, Dante did make sexual moves on me, but I demurred as I had all week. I knew it didn't matter at this point. My cups had emptied, and the ride with Seth was over. Yet, our time on the balcony had been so sweet and so powerful that once again, I couldn't be with someone else after an encounter like that. Soon enough my sex life with Dante would return to normal-but not tonight. He didn't seem angry at being turned down, so much as hurt. I felt a little bad about that but realized I'd rather feel guilty about betraying him than Seth.
Dante was up and gone before me the next morning, but Roman was sitting in my living room eating cereal and generally making himself at home. He had to know I was standing there, but he kept his eyes on the morning news. When he finished the cereal, he clicked for Aubrey and set the bowl down for her.
'Hey,' I said, scooping it up. 'Milk's bad for cats.'
'You need to let her live a little,' he protested, still watching the news. 'So what's the plan today?'
'I don't know. I'm still in stasis, so I guess that gives us time. Want to throw a dart at the map and go somewhere?' I gestured to the atlas of the Pacific Northwest lying on my coffee table.
'Might be the most productive method we've tried,' he mused.
He had that light tone he often used, but I could hear the disappointment too. It was still a mystery to me as to why he'd be so into helping find Jerome. It was a mystery best solved with coffee, I decided, and while the pot brewed, I rummaged for my own breakfast. I unearthed Pop-Tarts and again wondered about weight gain.
'Um, Georgina…'
'If you're asking if you can feed her anything else, the answer is no.'
'You need to come see this.' His voice was deadly earnest. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I hurried back into the living room. Roman pointed at the TV.
'You have got to be kidding me,' I groaned.
The Army of Darkness had struck again. We were watching a Seattle station, but apparently, this north-of- the-border escapade had been deemed newsworthy. The prank had actually taken place over in Victoria, a city on an island just west of Vancouver but still in British Columbia. There were some very famous and very beautiful gardens there, and the Army had apparently broken in at night and done their best to clip a pentagram into a huge expanse of bushes. They'd enhanced it with spray paint.
'Jesus Christ,' I muttered. The pentagram job was bad, but the group had been savvy enough to get out of
