He wanted to lay his head against Barbara's biscuity brown legs, a little above the knee, and moan loudly. He also wanted to destroy something, everything, perhaps himself. He tore at the ivy below him, thrusting his hands down deep and wrenching the strong sinewy resistant lower branches. Making an effort with himself, he said, 'Something's gone wrong with us, Barbie. I expect it's just sex.' 'Sex may have gone wrong with you. It hasn't gone wrong with me.' 'You're old enough to flirt with John Ducane, anyway!' 'I didn't say I wasn't old enough for anything. And I don't flirt with John Ducane. He just happens to be my friend.' 'And look at the way you've put your skirt.' 'I haven't put it. It's just that I don't care, whether you're here or not.' 'You're little Miss important Person now, aren't you!' 'I've always been little Miss Important Person.' 'Would you like to see a nuthatch's nest, Barbie?' 'No. You've already told me three times about that nuthatch's nest.' 'Well, you've told me five times about your visit to the Chateau de Chilton.' 'I wasn't telling you. I was telling other people and you were just listening. Que to Yes, bete, Pierce!' 'Don't bother to show off your French to me, I'm not impressed.' 'It's natural, I'm not showing off, I've been talking this language for months!' 'Don't scream at me. All right, I'm going. It's low tide. I'm going to swim to Gunnar's Cave. I'm going to swim into Gunnar's Cave.' Gunnar's Cave held a prime place in the mythology of the children. It opened at the base of the cliff directly into the sea, and although reputedly a smugglers' cave its sole entrance was only above water for a short time at low tide. Mary Clothier, whose vivid subterranean imagination had rapidly extended itself in awful scenes of trappings and drownings, had long ago strictly forbidden the children to swim into the cave at all. Barbara and the twins, who were rather frightened of the cave, always obeyed. Pierce, who was very frightened of the cave, sometimes disobeyed. He had several times swum into the entrance at low tide, and although he had not touched any dry land within, had gained the impression that the cave went upward into the cliff. If this was so it might be that there was an upper cavern which was above water level even at high tide when the mouth of the cave was below the sea, a wonderful hiding place for smugglers. Pierce did not see any method of finding out whether this was so other than by the experiment of climbing up through the cave and waiting to see what happened. Of course if one was wrong, and the high tide completely filled the cave, then one would be drowned, but even this vision, though it filled Pierce with horror, was also curiously exciting, and especially since Barbara's return he had thought constantly about the cave, picturing its blackness as a kind of consummation in which treasure troves and death by drowning blended together into a buzzing vortex of divine unconsciousness. But this belonged to the world of fantasy. In fact his explorations had been brief and timid so far, and he had swum hastily back on each occasion and out of the mouth of the cave well before the tide had come near to covering the entrance, which was only open for a period of about forty minutes. 'Well, go if you want to,' said Barbara. 'Only I think it's silly to do things that frighten you, it's neurotic.' 'I'm not frightened, I'm curious. It's a smugglers' cave. I'd like to find out if there's anything left inside.' 'You don't know it's a smugglers' cave. You don't know Gunnar was a smuggler. You don't know Gunnar ever existed at all. It's not like the Romans. Gunnar's just a story.' 'The Romans, ha ha! You remember that Roman coin you found in a pool? T 'Yes.' 'Well, you didn't really find it. I put it there for you to find. I bought it off a chap at school.' Barbara sat up and dragged her dress down. She glared at Pierce. 'I think it's hateful of you to tell me that now, hateful!' Pierce stood up. He mumbled, 'Well, I did it to please you.' 'And now you're telling me to hurt me.' What has happened to us, thought Pierce. We were so happy once. With a soft fluffy sound Montrose materialized on top of the tombstone with the carving of the sailing ship, and tucking in his paws made himself into a furry ball, looking down at Barbara with insolent narrow eyes. Pierce scooped the cat into his arms, inhaled from the warm fur a whiff of Barbara's special eau de Cologne, and threw Montrose on to Barbara's lap. He said, 'Oh Barbara, I'm so sorry, don't be cross with me.' Barbara twisted round and knelt in the ivy, hugging Montrose up against her face. Pierce knelt down opposite to her, and reaching out he touched her bare knee with one finger. They looked at each other with puzzlement, almost with fear. 'I'm sorry too,' she said. 'Do you think we've just become bad?' 'How do you mean, bad? T 'Well, you know. When I was younger, when I read in the papers and in books and things about really nasty people, bad people, I felt so completely good and innocent inside myself, I felt that these people were just utterly different from me, that I could never become bad or behave really badly like them. Did you feel this?' 'I don't know,' said Pierce. 'I think boys always know about badness.' But he was not sure. 'Well,' said Barbara. 'I'm afraid it's all turning out to be much more difficult than I expected.' 'Octavian darling, are you never coming to bed?' 'Just coming, darling. Listen to the owl.' 'Yes, isn't he lovely. By the way, Mary has fixed for Barbie to borrow that pony.' 'Oh good. Kate darling, we're out of toothpaste.' 'There's a new tube on the dressing table-Don't fall over all those maps and guide books.' 'Darling, I don't think we can afford to go to Angkor.' 'I know. I've given up Angkor. I've decided I want to go to Samarkand.' 'You know it's in the Soviet Union, darling?' 'Is it? Well, they wouldn't eat us.' 'It'd be terribly hot.' 'Is Samarkand on the sea?' 'No, I'm afraid not. Wouldn't you rather go somewhere on the sea?' 'Well, we did think Rhodes, of course ' 'We might ask Paula about Rhodes, you remember she went on that cruise. By the way, what's the matter with Paula? I thought she was looking awfully depressed and worried.' 'Oh, it's just end of term. She's so conscientious about those exams.' 'Ducane did go to see Willy, didn't he?' 'Yes, Ducane saw him and then Mary saw him.' 'Is Willy all right?» 'He's fine. He told Mary that Ducane had cheered him up no end.' 'Ducane's so nice' 'He's so good ' 'He's certainly good for Willy.' 'He's good for all of us. Octavian ' 'Yes, darling?' 'I kissed Ducane in the beech wood.' 'Good for you! Was he pleased?' 'He was sweet.' 'Don't make him fall for you too much, darling, I mean so that it hurts.' 'No, no, he won't get hurt. I'll manage him.' 'He has plenty of sense actually, I mean as well as being thoroughly decent.' 'Yes. It's funny that he's never got married.' 'No need to make a mystery of it.'
