Julian said, after another short pause, «So you're going away tomorrow? Where to?»
«Abroad.»
«And what am I supposed to do? Just lock this evening away and forget about it?»
«Yes.»
«You think that's possible?»
«You know perfectly well what I mean.»
«I see. And how long will it take you to get over this, as you put it, unfortunate infatuation?»
«I did not use the word 'infatuation.' «
«Suppose I say you just want to go to bed with me?»
«Suppose you say it.»
«You mean you don't care what I think?»
«Not now.»
«Because you've spoilt all the fantasy fun of your love by bringing it out into the real world?»
I got up and got well away from her this time, walking quickly. I saw her as in a vision, her red-and-blue silk tulip dress spread by her legs, striding like a Spartan maid, her shining blue feet twinkling, her arms held out. And now again she had cut me off and we had stopped beside a lorry loaded with white boxes. A unique but unidentified smell, carrying awful associations, entered my mind like a swarm of bees. I leaned against the tail board of the lorry and groaned.
«Bradley, may I touch you?»
«No. Please go away. If you pity me at all, go away.»
«Bradley, you've upset me and you must let me talk this out, I want to understand myself too, you don't conceive-«I know this must nauseate you.»
«You say you aren't thinking about me. Indeed you aren't!»
«What's that bloody smell? What's in those boxes?»
«Strawberries.»
«Strawberries!» The smell of youthful illusion and feverish transient joy.
«You say you love me, but you aren't interested in me in the least.»
«Nope. Now good-bye. Please.»
«You evidently don't think at all that I might return your affection.»
«Nope. What?»
«That I might return your affection.»
