«I want to hear what Bradley has to say. I'll come back to London tomorrow. But I'm not going to leave Bradley alone in the middle of the night.»
«Thank God.»
«You're coming with me,» said Arnold.
«No, she isn't. She's said what she wants to do. Now please go away. Arnold, think. Do you want us to fight about this? Do you want to crack my head with that spanner? I promise I'll bring Julian to London tomorrow. Nobody shall force her, nobody can force her, she'll do what she wants to do, I'm not trying to kidnap her.»
«Please go,» she said. «I'm sorry. You've been kind and-quiet, but I must just stay here tonight. I promise I'll come to you and listen to everything you want to say. But please be merciful and leave me now to talk to him. We've got to talk, do understand. You can't really do or undo anything here.»
«She's right,» I said.
Arnold did not look at me. He looked at his daughter with a very concentrated desolate stare. He gave a sort of gasping sigh. «Do you promise to come home tomorrow?»
«I'll come and see you tomorrow.»
«Do you promise to come home?»
«Yes.»
She suffered this embrace for a moment, then gently freed herself and went into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. I followed and tried to put my arms round her, but she thrust me away with little gentle half- unconscious gestures.
«Oh Julian, we haven't lost each other, have we? I am so deeply sorry I lied about my age, it was stupid. But it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, we're beyond where it matters, it can't matter. And I couldn't go back to London this morning. I know it was a crime not to. But it was a crime that I committed because I love you.»
«I feel so confused,» she said, «I feel so awfully confused-«Let me explain how-«Please. I can't hear, I just wouldn't be able to hear-Everything's been such a shock-like a-destruction-I'd rather-I think I'll just go to the lavatory and then I'll try to go to sleep.» She went away, returned, and took off her dress and put on her dark blue silk night-shirt over her underclothes. She seemed already like a sleepwalker.
«Julian, thank you for staying. I worship you with gratitude for having stayed. Julian, you will be kind to me, won't you. You could break my neck with your little finger.»
She begun to get heavily into the bed, moving stiffly, like an old person.
«That's right,» I said. «We'll talk in the morning, won't we. We'll sleep now. If we can just go to sleep in each other's arms we'll be so much helped, won't we.»
She looked up at me sombrely, the tears dry on her face.
«May I stay, Julian?»
«Bradley-darling-I'd rather be by myself just now. I feel as if I'd been invaded or-broken-I've got to become complete again and for that-it's better to be alone-just now.»
«Yes, yes.»
«Good night, my darling.»
I kissed her on the brow and then quickly got up and turned the light out and closed the door. Then I went and locked and bolted the front door. Everything seemed possible tonight, even the return of Arnold with the spanner. I sat in an armchair in the sitting-room and wished I had brought some whisky with me. I resolved to stay awake for the rest of the night.
