«And she came straight to you?»
«I suppose so. She arrived pretty soon after Arnold-'
«And what did she say?»
«Do stop looking like King Lear «What did she say?»
«What could she say? What could anyone say? She was crying like a maniac anyway and-«
«Oh Christ, oh Christ.»
«She got me to repeat it all and give all the details and swear it was true and then she believed me.»
«But what did she say? Can't you remember anything, she actually said?»
«She said, 'If only it had been longer ago.' I suppose she had a point there.»
«She didn't understand. It wasn't at all like what you said. When you said that, it wasn't true. When you used those words they conveyed something which simply wasn't true. You implied-«I'm sorry! I don't know what words you would expect me to have used! Those ones seemed to me to be pretty appropriate and accurate.»
«She can't have understood «I think she did understand, Bradley. I'm sorry, but I think she did.»
«You said she was crying.»
«Oh madly, like a child who was going to be hanged. But she always did enjoy crying.»
«How could you have told her, how could you-But she must have known it wasn't like that, it wasn't like that-«Well, I think it was like that!»
«How could you have told her?»
«It was Arnold's idea. But I didn't honestly feel at that point that I had to be discreet any more. I thought a little shock would bring Julian to her senses-«
«Why have you come here today? Did Arnold send you?»
«No, not particularly. I felt you ought to be told about Julian.»
«But you haven't told me!»
«About it being-well, you must have assumed it anyway-all over.»
'We.'»
«Don't shout. And I came, you won't care of course, but out of a sort of kindness. I wondered if I could help you.»
I stared at her with amazement, she was handsome, pale and bland, elated and precise, eloquent, vibrating with dignity and purpose. «Rachel, I don't think we understand each other at all.»
«Well, don't worry. You'll feel relieved later on. Just try not to feel resentment against me or against Julian. You'll only make yourself miserable if you do.»
I got up and went to the bureau and got out Arnold's letter. I got it out simply with the intention of making sure I had not dreamt it. Perhaps my memory really was disturbed. There was a sort of blank over Arnold's letter and yet I seemed to recall-I said, holding the letter in my hand, «Julian will come back to me. I know this. I know it just as well as I know-«What's that you have there?»
