«I didn't give her the black eye. It was accidental. I explained to you.»
«I'll go,» said Christian, «but let me just make a little speech before I do. Gee, I'm sorry about all this. But honestly, Brad, you're living in a dream world. I was very emotionally disturbed when I got back here and I came straight to you. Some men would have been flattered. I may be over fifty but I'm not a has-been. I got three proposals of marriage on the boat, and all from people who didn't know I was rich. Anyway what's wrong with being rich? It's a quality, it's attractive. Rich people are nicer, they're less nervy. I'm quite a proposition. And I came to you. As it happened I met Arnold and we talked and he asked a lot of questions, he was interested. That makes people friends and we are friends. But we haven't started up a love affair. Why should we? We're too intelligent. I'm not a little girl in a mini-skirt looking for kicks. I'm a damned clever woman who wants to have fun for the rest of her life, real fun, and happiness, not just emotional messes. I guess I can see into my motivation by now. I was years in deep analysis back in Illinois. I want friendships with men. I want to help people. Do you know that helping people is the way to be happy? And I'm curious. I want to know lots of people and see what makes them tick. I'm not going to get stuck in any hole-and-corner dramas. I'm going to live in the open. And right out in the open is where Arnold and I have been. You just haven't understood. I want to be friends with you, Brad. I want us to redeem the past by our friendship, like sort of redemptive love-I groaned.
«Don't mock me, I'm trying, I know I may seem ridiculous-«Not in the least,» I said.
«Well why not, naturally he was interested, and I was truthful. It's not a sacred subject, why shouldn't I talk about it. I guess you and I ought to try to be honest with each other and talk it all out of our systems. I know it would do me a power of good. Say, have you ever been analysed?»
«Analysed'-'– Certainly not!!»
«Well, don't be too sure it would be a waste of time. You seem pretty snarled up to me.»
«Ask your friend to go, would you?» I said to Arnold. He smiled.
«I'm going, I'm going, Brad. Look, don't answer me now, but think about this. I do beg you most humbly, and I mean humbly, to talk to me sometime soon, to talk properly, talk about the past, talk about what went wrong, and do it not because it will help you but because it will help me. That's all. Think it over. See you.»
She made for the door. I said, «Wait a minute. To someone who has spent years in deep analysis this may seem crude, but I simply do not like you and I do not want to see you.»
«I know you're sort of scared-«I am not scared. I just happen to detest you. You are the sort of insinuating power-mongering woman that I detest. I cannot forgive you and I do not want to see you.»
«I guess this sort of classical love-hate-«Not love. Just hate. Be honest enough to see that, since you're so intelligent. And another thing. When I have had my little talk with Arnold I am coming over to fetch my sister, and after that any connection between you and me ceases.»
«Look, Brad, there's something more I want to say after all. I guess I see into your motivation-«Get out. Or do you want me to resort to violence?»
She laughed a red-tongued white-toothed laugh, merrily. «Oh-ho, what would that mean, I wonder? You'd better watch it, I learnt Karate at the Ladies' Guild. Well, I'm off. But think over what I said. Why choose hatred? Why not choose happiness and doing a little good to each other for a change? All right, all right, I'm off, cheery- bye.»
She clacked out and I could hear her laughing as she pulled the front door to behind her.
I turned on Arnold, «I don't know what you think that Rachel-«
«No.» The feeling of sheer loving pity for Rachel came back to me, no nonsense about legs, just pity, pity.
«Wait a bit, wait a bit. Rachel's all right. It's you who's getting all steamed up about me and Christian. Of course you naturally feel possessive about Christian-«I do not!»
«But there's really and truly nothing there except friendship. Rachel understands that now. You're the one who has invented this myth about me and your ex-wife. And you seem to be using it as an excuse for pestering Rachel in a way I might resent if I were more old-fashioned. Fortunately Rachel has a sense of humour about it. She told me how you came round this morning, accusing me and all ready to comfort her! Of course I know, we all know, that you're keen on Rachel. Your being so has been an aspect of our friendship. You were keen on both of us. And don't misunderstand me, Rachel hasn't just regarded this as a joke, she's been very touched. Any woman likes a suitor. But when you start pestering her with attentions and suggesting I'm unfaithful at the same time it becomes something that she rightly won't put up with. I don't know whether you really think that Chris and I are lovers, or whether you pretend to Rachel that you think it. But she certainly doesn't believe anything of the sort.»
