Hugh paced a while in silence, head hanging. He said, 'I must sound off to somebody. It isn't that I want your advice. Or do I? No I don't think so. I just must sound off.
'Sound away, said Mildred. She was tense with caution.
'It's about Randall.
'Ah —’ said Mildred. She relaxed a little and suddenly with breaths of fresh air all sorts of green prospects hazily opened. Perhaps, after all, Randall was off.
'Randall has put to me — the — most — extraordinary — proposition. What? said Mildred. She felt alert and brisk now.
'Well, wait a minute, said Hugh. He looked out of the window at the ragged drizzle and then started back. 'Perhaps I'd better give you a bit of background.
'Perhaps you had.
'I don't know whether you know that Randall has been having an affair with a gal called Lindsay Rimmer, who is Emma Sands' companion. Perhaps it's common knowledge?
'It's not common knowledge, said Mildred, 'but I know. Go on.
'Well, to put it shortly, Randall has decided he wants to leave his wife and go off with this girl Lindsay.
Mildred let out her breath slowly. 'I thought he had left his wife' she said. She wanted no lacunae in the conversation. She must have something very exact to report to Felix.
'Well, no, said Hugh. 'I don't think at present he quite knows whether he has left her or not. I think he would regard himself as officially not having left her.
'And she?
'She is — a. faithful wife. He added, 'She's a conventional person. He seemed dissatisfied with this and added, 'She's a good person.
He seemed about to qualify this further, but Mildred said, 'Anyhow, the point is that there's no question of her actually throwing Randall out, however bloody he is.
Hugh, frowned a little, perhaps at the adjective, perhaps just at Mildred's directness. She would never throw him out, never.
'So unless he very positively goes he counts for her as not gone?
'Yes, you may say so.
Mildred did not want to seem too interested in Ann, so she said. Well, Randall is more the point. What about him? Will he stay or will he go?
Hugh still paced, looking at the carpet, his floppy brown tonsure falling forward on each side of his temples. Then he cast a keen look at Mildred and said, 'He needs — a great deal of money — to go.
'Money, said Mildred. For a wild moment she wondered if Hugh was going to ask her to contribute. 'But he hasn't any money has he?
'No.
'Not a bean, I suppose. Except for the nursery. Scarcely a bean. And of course Randall would want to do things in style.
Hugh looked at her sharply. She must mind her tongue. She could not bear him to think that she mocked. So she murmured softly 'Dear Hugh, dear Hugh, go on.
'He'll go if, and only if, he gets the money.
'Well, will he get the money? Where from?
Hugh turned and looked at the Tintoretto. For a moment Mildred thought he was waiting to speak. Then she realized that he had spoken; and she cried out of an immediate scandalized shock, 'No, no! Certainly not!
'That's what I said, said Hugh. He spoke in a soft tired way. He sat down opposite to her on the sofa.
'It would be utterly wicked, said Mildred. She spoke without calculation, with a sense of the monstrousness of the thing. 'No, Hugh, no.
In the silence that followed Mildred drew out some of the implications of the matter and gasped at them.
'Yet — it's complicated, said Hugh, in the same small voice. He added, 'Perhaps I'll have some whisky too.
It was indeed complicated. No money, no departure. No departure, no Ann for Felix..
Mildred pulled herself together. The strain of being objective here was like a physical pain. But she said firmly, 'Hugh, have some common sense. You can't sell your beloved Tintoretto so that Randall can have a caper with a girl which may last six months. It would be totally wrong. Tell Randall to pull his socks up. If he wants to leave Ann he can get half the value of the nursery and start himself up again. And can't the Rimmer girl work? By not treating them as ordinary mortals you'll do them nothing but harm.
'I've thought of all this, said Hugh. 'I've thought of Ann. I've thought of Sarah. I've thought that if I sell the painting I ought to give the proceeds to Famine Relief. Everything.
'Well, if you've thought of it, why aren't you convinced by it?
'It's complicated, he repeated. He poured himself out some whisky.
'Randall's thing is very serious. He's really in love — the way it only happens once or twice in a lifetime. And with someone like him the mature love is the one to trust. He sighed. 'I think it will last. She's awfully beautiful, by the way.
'Hugh, don't be frivolous.
'And without the money he won't go.
'Well, let him not go! said Mildred, exasperated. She grieved for Felix, but she saw nothing here which was in the least unclear.
'Well, you see, said Hugh. He paused as if wondering whether to go on. 'There's another — aspect to the matter.
At that moment, with a sudden switch in her vision, Mildred saw the other aspect: and if the first picture had made her gasp, this second gestalt left her positively winded. Before she had time to recover, Hugh was going on.
'There's no way of saying this, he said, 'which doesn't sound monstrous. And of course it is monstrous, and not anything which could possibly form part of a serious intention. It's a sort of nightmare, the waking nightmare that I've been having all night. And when I ring you up I was possessed by an urge to confess it to someone, to confess it to you. Just to get rid of it. Yes, to get rid of it. You'll think me mad when I tell you. And what you've been saying is quite right. And of course I can't possibly sell the picture. He stopped as if he had said everything.
'But you haven't told me, said Mildred, when he was silent still. 'This — other thing. Is it to do with Emma?
'Mildred —’ said Hugh. Then he suddenly covered his face with one hand, the fingers spread wide upon his bald forehead, while he gave a groaning sigh into the palm.
'It's as bad as that, is it?
'You're so quick and so sympathetic, said Hugh, removing his hand. 'You understand everything before I say it. You remember I asked you something a little while ago, about going to see her? Well, I did as you advised, I went to see her. I thought I might calm down then. But I didn't calm down. I haven't calmed down.
'And you remember that I said you were ready to fall in love? You have fallen in love. Her voice trembled.
'I have fallen in love, he repeated solemnly, absorbed in the majesty of his own fate.
Mildred was so confused by the demands of her new insight and by the pure piercing pain of jealousy which had just passed through her like a spear, that she could think of nothing to say.
Oblivious, Hugh went on in a moment, 'To someone as clever as you I needn't explain what my nightmare was. Emma and I — well, there are possibilities. But the fact is that Emma isn't alone. She's — entangled — somehow — with that Rimmer girl. Well, no, that's a misleading way to put it. They're very fond of each other, and terribly sort of domestic together. And with Lindsay there there's no place for me. And, well, there it is. He added, 'And that's that, in case she should misunderstand him.
'But, said Mildred, 'if Randall could be enabled to buy Lindsay, you could move into the vacant place at the hearth. She instantly cursed herself for this bitter speech. She felt tears of vexation and defeat waiting behind her eyes.
