It was undeniably true. In this one day, Hugh had felt more jealousy clawing at his gut than in his entire life before. If they'd been truly committed, perhaps he wouldn't have felt it to such a blistering degree just now—but there was no foundation for them. They were embroiled in a sham. He'd given her his name but could expect nothing back.
The situation was maddening. How had he found himself agreeing to it, when all his instincts screamed against it? He'd been well aware that he was being maneuvered—and yet, he'd allowed it.
Hugh had never been one to lose his temper or react impulsively. Now he felt he was losing control. What was it about Jane that made him feel primitive and possessive? He'd felt compelled to bare his teeth at Bidworth— or to hit him again, just for pleasure.
Men like Hugh could not afford to lose control. Grey wasn't the first of their kind to succumb to darker impulses. 'And doona tease me any longer. Lass, you play with fire.'
'If you can't stand my teasing, you never should have agreed to this. It's not as if you haven't experienced it before or didn't know what to expect when Iwarned you not to go along with this!'
'We both agreed to end this marriage when the situation is resolved,' he grated. 'I will no' be trapped into something I dinna want because you think to amuse yourself by playing with me.'
A coldness seemed to settle over her. 'Don't spend another minute's desperate worry that you might be 'trapped' with me. There isnothing that can happen between us that will bind us together in this marriage, I assure you.' She opened her small traveling case at her feet and withdrew a book, turning from him dismissively.
If only he could turn away and shut her out as easily.
All morning Hugh had felt outside of reality, waiting for everyone to realize what a mistake his and Jane's marriage would be. Each minute, he expected Jane to back out.
In the back of his mind, he'd never thought it would truly be his decision as to whether they would move forward with this or not.
When she'd begun packing, Hugh had paced.She's actually going through with this? Impossible. What if the final choice came down tohim ? Time and again he weighed the risks, but before he knew it, they were all waiting for him to sign his name to the marriage certificate.
Hugh had heard Rolley mutter to Quin, 'Never thought I'd see the day steady MacCarrick's hand would shake like that.'
How could it not, when Hugh felt he walked upon a razor's edge between what fate would allow—or punish him for?
And when he risked the only woman he'd ever loved.
After an hour of silence in the coach, Hugh reached over and removed her book from her hands. Before she could gasp her displeasure, he presented her with a glass jewel case, offered in his big palm.
'And what is this?' she asked, though she recognized theR emblem etched in the crystal.
'Take it.'
After a hesitation, she did, then opened it with a nonchalant air. Her heart flipped over like a cart's wheel.
Inside lay the most gorgeous piece of jewelry she had ever seen.
She stared, light-headed, then gazed up at him. 'This…this is wholly unnecessary.' She tried to hand it back, but he wouldn't take it, and the bewildered look on his face made her hesitate.
'Will you no' wear it, lass?' he asked incredulously.
He'd obviously never envisioned that she might not accept it. She finally set it on the bench between them. 'Hugh, you didn't have to do this. I know many women who do not have wedding jewelry.'
'You will.'
'I also know many women who don't like to be given temporary jewelry.'
'What do you mean?'
'We know this will be over soon,' Jane said. 'Jewelry, in this case, seems a bit…cruel.'
He shook his head firmly. 'You'll keep it. After.'
After he left her. Again.
'So, did you have this lying around the house, in case of any impromptu weddings?'
'Got it this morning. While you were packing.'
'Hmm.' She tapped her cheek. 'Now it all becomes clear. You got it after you guiltily realized that perhaps you shouldn't have bludgeoned Freddie and manhandled me. You rode out and bought me avery expensive olive branch.'
'You've been slighted a grand wedding and all that surrounds it. This is one thing I can control. I wanted to give my friend something befitting her.'
'Are we friends, Hugh?' she asked, her voice sounding sad, even to her.
He stiffened. 'I've never doubted it.'
She bit her lip at that, then surreptitiously glanced down at the ring case, her hands itching to pick it up. Her father had told her Hugh had saved some money, but Ridergate's was fantastically expensive, and that ring— classically set with a huge diamond amidst a cluster of emeralds—was oh-so-lavish.
With a sigh, she realized she ought not take it, because Hugh shouldn't be spending that money on her, no matter how badly she wanted it. Especially when they weren't to stay wed—
He swooped the case back, surprising her. But he did it only to pluck out the ring and capture her hand. 'Wear—it,' he grated.
Was henervous ? Jane could always tell when Hugh was uncomfortable or discomfited because his shoulders went back. They were presently jammed back. 'This is what you wanted.'
'Why would you think that?' Had he possibly recalled her description of her dream wedding ring? She nibbled her lip as she awaited his answer.
He muttered, 'You told me, lass.'
He remembered?If a man could recall such minute details all these years later, then perhaps they had at least been the friends she'd thought them.
When he slipped it on her finger, she shivered—she didn't know why. He appeared relieved that she'd accepted it. And now that he was at ease, she began to react to him, finding herself relaxing as well.
No matter how hard she fought it.
Damn him, they'd always been like that—able to settle in with each other in easy companionship. Now it came more slowly, little by little, like a feather wafting down, but in the end, the amity was the same. Damn, damn, damn….
Could a womanmiss a man who brought her pain? Then somehow ignore all that pain and be excited to be near him again?
A quick consideration indicated:possibly.
Maybe she was simply grateful that for a space of many minutes, she'd forgotten about her anxious feeling. Or, more likely, she just liked the ring.Typical, typical Jane.
She sighed. A near-acceptance of a proposal and a kiss before nine; a marriage, another kiss, and a ring before noon. She wished she could say that all these had occurred with only one man.
Chapter Sixteen
'Be forewarned, Hugh,' Jane said, when he held out his hands to assist her from the carriage. 'I will now place my waist into your grip. Please don't take it as teasing or making merry with fire in any way.'
Ever since she'd entreated him to stop at this inn, he'd been wearing a scowl, and at her words it deepened, a glaring contrast to her own jewelry-induced blithe mood.
When he grasped her waist and swung her down, she asked, 'Hugh, why are you so averse to this place? It looks perfectly acceptable.'
Hugh still held her. 'It is. But you have to go through the common room to get upstairs.'
'You've been here before?' she asked.
