Wilderness

'I know,' she said. 'I know.'

'I mean, I had to do what I thought was right.'

'Yes, always. Sometimes, Aaron, I think you read your own books too much.' She shook her head angrily. 'Never mind. We can't have a damned argument. We have to think what to do.'

'We know what to do. I go in tomorrow and tell the cops that I was wrong. And no matter what they say I stick to it and we keep our mouths shut and lie low. Maybe we should go away.' 'I can't go away,' she said. 'I have to work. I have a graduate seminar. I'm up for associate this year. I can't just up and leave, for cris sake 'What's more important,' he said, 'your life or your fucking job?'

'I can't leave my job,' she said. 'You go and tell the police you were wrong. And that will be the end of it.'

'And it won't bother you to think about it?' he said. 'You won't feel like they've demeaned us?' He was sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. He looked at the floor.

She snapped her head around at him. 'Demeaned? Who demeaned you? Were you stripped naked and gagged with your own underwear? And tied up so tight you couldn't wiggle your toes? You know anything about that?'

'Did they…?'

'Did they fuck me? Did they feel me up? Isn't that a swell question.

No. They just stared at me and didn't say anything and I was lying there on my back with all that rope around me stark naked and they stared at me. You like the scene?' 'Shut up,' he said.

'And one of them takes out his knife and puts it down there and I thought he was going to cut me wide open and he cut me on the belly.

And I couldn't do a damn thing or even scream. Feel demeaned?' 'Shut up,' he said. The trapezius muscles on each side of his neck were bunched and his hands were clenched and clamped between his thighs and the muscles in his forearms bulged.

'And then they left,' she said. She was breathing a little hard. Her face was flushed. 'And I lay there in the dark all tied up with my underwear stuffed in my mouth and didn't know what to do and couldn't do anything anyway and didn't know if you'd be home or not and couldn't get loose. And you're talking demeaned to me? Who the fuck demeaned you?' 'Shut up,' he said. His voice rose and his shoulders shook. 'You're demeaned I'm demeaned. You think it's better to sit here and listen to you talk about how some goddamned hoodlums mistreated you and me not around?'

(c) 'It's a lot easier than to have it happen to you, buster.'

He stood. His back was to her. He looked out the window at the darkened lawn.

'I don't know,' he said. 'I don't know if it is any easier. What I do know is you're making it harder. You like grinding it into me.'

'Maybe. And maybe you liked looking at me when you came in, bound and gagged and naked. Maybe you liked that,' she said. 'Maybe it turned you on.'

Newman half turned away from the window and hit the bedroom door with his right fist. The door didn't break but his hand hurt badly.

CHAPTER 4.

Lieutenant Vincent stood with his hips resting against his desk and his arms folded across his chest. Croft sat on one straight chair and Newman on the other.

Croft shrugged. 'So that's it, Lieutenant. He says he can't make the ID in court. Says he was mistaken.'

'Has anyone threatened you, Mr. Newman?'

Newman shook his head.

'No one has said or done anything to change your mind?'

Newman shook his head again. Vincent looked at Croft. They were silent.

Newman said, 'I'm sorry, but…' Without looking at him Vincent said, 'Shut up.' Croft said to Vincent, 'Who knew?' Vincent said, 'You tell me, Bobby. Who knew we had a witness and what his name was?'

'You, me, people in the squad room People in Smithfield. Valences from Essex County DA's office.' He spread his hands. 'Too many, Murray. Got no way to know who they talked to.'

'We better try, Bobby. They knew before Newman left this fucking office. You hear what I'm saying?'

Croft nodded.

Newman said, 'Wait a minute. Nobody…'

Vincent turned toward him. He unfolded his arms and placed his hands palm down on the edge of the desk behind him. 'You close it up, scum bag. I got no use for you. You tucked your fucking tail between your fucking legs and hauled ass at the first sign of trouble.'

'The hell I…'

'Shut up.' Vincent straightened from his desk and shoved his face toward Newman, bending forward slightly. 'I know somebody threatened you, and I know you're not going to say shit because you think if you're quiet it'll all go away. Maybe it will and maybe Dolph Karl will blast somebody else and it won't be you and you'll shake your head and say

'My my ain't that awful. Why don't those stupid cops do something about it?' Or maybe Dolph will worry about you and maybe he'll send somebody around to make double sure you stay scared and stay quiet.'

Newman was silent. The fear twitched and tickled in his stomach.

'You can end it here and now, you got the guts. Or you can be scared and jump at shadows the rest of your life. Or maybe you and your wife and who knows who else can be dead.'

Newman could hear that flat uneducated Boston voice on the phone. He shook his head again. 'I made an honest mistake, Lieutenant,' he said.

'I simply made an honest mistake.' Vincent said, 'Bobby, get him the fuck away from me.' He turned his back and stood looking down at the picture of his family on his desk.

Croft jerked his head and he and Newman got up and left.

'Lieutenant's pissed,' Croft said in the hall.

'Corporal Croft, I tell you it was simply a mistake. He wouldn't want me to put an innocent man in jail, would he?'

'Aw, don't bullshit me, Mr. Newman. I know you were threatened or bribed. Lieutenant knows it. You know it. So, I don't know, maybe I don't blame you. Maybe they leaned hard. Maybe they got your wife or kids, it happens. But don't bullshit me.' 'Vincent got family?' Newman said.

'Sure,' Croft said. 'Wife, five kids, I think.'

'I suppose he wouldn't back off if they were threatened.'

'Vincent? Hell no. He wouldn't back off for anything.'

'So what would he do, risk their lives?' Croft smiled a little. 'No, you haven't seen Murray work. I have. He wouldn't back off, and if somebody threatened his family he'd blow him away.'

'If he could,' Newman said.

Croft was still smiling. 'He could, ' Croft said. 'I've seen him work.'

They walked down the corridor toward the parking lot.

'The thing is,' Croft said, 'Murray's probably right. You're making a mistake. You let them do this and they'll be around for the rest of your life. It won't be done like you think it will be. Remember, I told you before. Dolph Karl is a fucking psychopath. We had him on the hook and you let him off. There's no way to know what he'll do.'

At the door they stopped. 'You change your mind,' Croft said, 'you give me a call. You have my card.'

Newman nodded. 'Vincent would kill them?'

Croft nodded. 'No doubt in my mind.'

'And you?'

Croft was silent for a minute, his hands in his hip pockets. 'I guess I'd have to be in the situation. Then I'd see. I don't see too much point to figuring ahead.'

Newman started to shake hands, hesitated, and Croft said, 'Hell, I'll shake hands with you.' He put out his hand and Newman shook it. Then Newman went out into the bright parking lot.