The Devil's Eye

The show has been running for thirty-two years, and you're the first human who's been our guest.' 'It's a pleasure to be here, Ordahl.' 'May I ask how long you've been on Borkarat, Chase?' 'Just a couple of weeks.' We went back and forth for several minutes. What was my connection with the mission from Salud Afar? How had I come to be on that world? Was it really true that the Administrator's staff knew of the Callistra event before we reported it to him? Uh-oh. 'I really have no way of knowing the answer to that, Ordahl. But I'd be shocked to learn that the Administrator had been aware of the problem in advance.' We went through a series of preliminaries. Would I explain what I did for a living and why I'd come to Borkarat? What did it feel like to be isolated inside my mind? What was my reaction to living among a race that communicated so differently? Did I feel a sense of release to know that I was now open to others, and that everything I knew could be made available to them with no effort on my part? 'No,' I admitted. 'It scares the daylights out of me.' 'Why? Why are humans so frightened of truth? So literally terrified that others will find out what they think? What they feel? Are they really that deceptive?' 'Nobody's frightened of the truth, Ordahl. But we think privacy counts for something, too.' 'Yes. Thus you value your ability to conceal the truth from one another.' 'Sometimes truth is painful. For example, revealing some parts of daily life is tasteless. There are details of physical reality that we all know about, but we don't want them pushed into our consciousness on a regular basis.' 'Such as?' 'Such as whether my notable interviewer feels a need to go to the bathroom.' I wondered how a comedian got by on a world in which nobody ever laughed? 'What,' he asked, 'is a comedian?' His tone suggested an adult trying to talk sense to a child. I resisted the impulse to fall back on my charm. My soft gray eyes and long black hair. I had good features and a killer smile. Ordinarily, they were more than enough to cow male opposition. But I had no way to charm that hulk. Whatever allure I possessed was missing in action. 'Surely,' he said, 'you must understand that many of the problems between your species and the Ashiyyur spring from the willingness of humans to engage in deceit.' 'Some of the problems are a result of Ashiyyurean hubris.' 'Ah. Could you explain, please?' 'Ashiyyureans think they are superior. I'm not sure why they would believe that, other than that they share a common consciousness. Are you more intelligent than we are? If you were, surely you'd have found a way to make peace with us. I know we can be noisy neighbors, but we don't want to be fighting incessant border wars. And neither do you. Neither side profits from them. Why are you unable to persuade us to do what is in our own self-interest?' Eventually we got to the point. 'You came hoping to enlist a promise from us that we would call a halt to hostilities so that your combat fleets could go to the rescue at Salud Afar.' 'Yes. That's correct.' 'And you got that promise. We have agreed to stand down during the emergency.'

'Yes.' 'Let me run your Director's response.' Whiteside appeared, standing on a podium, surrounded by flags and symbols of the Confederacy. 'We will be sending the Alberta , with its escort of destroyers and support vessels to assist in any way they can.' 'Eleven ships,' said Ordahl. 'Do humans value the lives of their own so cheaply that they cannot bring themselves to get serious about a rescue effort?' 'He doesn't speak for me,' I said. 'He speaks for the Confederacy. He was elected by you, was he not?' 'Not by me. By the voters.' 'Twice, in fact.' 'Yes.' 'Then how can you imply he does not represent you?' 'Okay, look: In this, he doesn't represent me, and I suspect he doesn't represent a majority of the people across the Confederacy. I don't really know about that, though. I can't speak for them. But they've already started voting with their resources. They're sending food and supplies. Those who have ships have, in large numbers, begun traveling to Salud Afar to lend what assistance they can. 'For God's sake, Ordahl, two billion people live out there. There's a plan to save them. If we can get sufficient ships in place. I'm sure you already know about the shield, but let me go over it anyhow for your viewers.' I did. I explained, visualized, agonized over, however you want to describe it, the effort that had every potential to succeed, to save a world. I pictured families in parks, and women with children on beaches, and people reading quietly in libraries, and crowds listening to concerts. 'Unless the shield can be made to work, all these people will die. You ask me about Whiteside's decision, and you want to hold me responsible for it. That's silly. We have a leader who, for political purposes, or ideological ones-Who really knows?-will play on old animosities and old fears, and will hold the fleet back. He does not speak for me. But I understand why they don't trust the Ashiyyur. And because of that, they'll stand by while a world dies.'

'Because of us?'

'They don't trust you. And you're behaving as if the attacks at Pelioz and Seachange never happened.' 'Those were provoked.' 'From our perspective, that is not so. And they came without warning.' 'Chase-' 'Look, let's not drag this out of the closet again. All this animosity has gone on for two centuries, and both sides have a lot to answer for. So we're at a point where neither side trusts the other. And because of that, we're about to do something that we'll be answering for as long as there's a human anywhere. And maybe you will, too. 'The truth is that Whiteside's decision to keep the fleet at home is pure politics. He knows that the fleet ultimately cannot protect the Confederate worlds. It can only retaliate in the event of attack. The same is true of your force. Defense is not possible against the kind of armament we mount. So it really wouldn't matter whether the fleet was at home or not. It wouldn't save a single world. It only means that retaliation would take a bit longer. And I'd ask Director Whiteside, and the people of the Confederacy, whether that delay of a few weeks is worth the sacrifice of a world. 'We and you are the same. Where it matters, there is no essential difference. Plato ranks with Tulisofala. You stage Hamlet . We love our children, as you do. We enjoy the beach in summer, as you do. I was on a beach the other day and swam out to a raft. I wasn't aware that a vooparoo warning had been issued. What was a vooparoo anyway? I had no idea. 'But one of your children came out to warn me. To get me off. Even though he couldn't communicate with me. Even though he put himself at risk. Even though he was repulsed by the way I look, he came for me. 'He acted. Despite everything, despite even his instincts, he acted. It's what we need to do.' I was looking at Ordahl, but I was talking, finally, to Whiteside. 'You have an opportunity now to forge a bond between the two species. And you're blowing it, Mr. Director.

'I'm asking you to do what that young male did the other day. You risk nothing except political advantage. Send the fleet.'

THIRTY-NINE

Sometimes life is like the sea. You are alone at the edge, trying to hold back the tide. You anchor your feet and you scream against it, but it does not matter. It surges around you. The sand sinks beneath your feet. It will have its way despite all your efforts. They are as nothing, and you are easily swept aside.

- Love You to Death

When it was over, I was trembling. Ordahl adjusted his robe, got up, and said thanks. 'You got angry. That's good. I like those who get angry.' The female came in with the technicians. They began disassembling equipment. Then they were gone. Alex gave me a hug and told me I'd been brilliant. It felt good to hear that, but it was more or less what he would have said no matter what. Circe took my hand. 'Good,' she said. 'If you're lucky, they won't try to arrest you when you get home.' 'They'll do some editing, of course,' said Kassel. 'But I'd say you came across like an eagle.' He savored the word, and he looked at me with open admiration. 'Thank you. Nothing embarrassing got picked up, I hope?' 'I was surprised to discover,' said Alex, 'that you think mathematicians are sexy.' 'My God, Alex. That's not true. I've never-' I turned to Selotta. 'He's making it up, right? I mean, he didn't even get the mental part.' Selotta looked down at me. 'Yes, love. Nothing like that happened.' 'Thank God. Alex, I'm going to shoot you.' 'We did see some things, though,' she continued. 'But nothing, I think, that would have embarrassed you. For example, your regret that your father did not live to see what you've accomplished. He died before you got your pilot's license.' 'That's so,' I said. 'You think Alex is an especially bright man.' Alex kept his face impassive. 'That's also true,' I said. 'Although males provide a fairly low standard.' That brought a smile. 'And there's someone from several years ago that you are still in love with.' 'Jerry Crater!' I was horrified. 'That got out?' 'Afraid so. But it is nothing to be ashamed of.' Alex's smile widened. 'Good old Jerry, huh?' 'Leave it alone, boss.' 'In any case,' he said, 'I think we can call it an unqualified success.' 'Good. But next time you want to volunteer me for something, I'd like to be consulted first.'

We watched the show that evening. Twice. First time through I simply listened to my responses. Then we shut down the sound and Selotta translated the telepathic side. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected. In fact, it tracked the dialogue pretty closely. And yes, there were occasional blips in which I thought how my shoes hurt, and how I'd be