Shadowgame

He glared at her as he opened the driver's side door. 'You didn't eat today, did you? Not a single thing.'

Lily leaned over and kissed the top of his head. 'Stop worrying so much about me, John. I'm a sturdy woman, not a delicate waif.'

'I have a feeling I'll always worry about you, Lily. This thing with your father… I'm damnably sorry.' John shook his head. 'I thought he might be found, but he'd never stay away from you this long. And if it was a kidnap for ransom, or even secrets of some kind, we would have heard.'

Lily could see the lines of age in his face, the tinge of gray to his coloring. She put her hand on his arm. 'I know how much you loved him, John. I'm sorry for both of us.' His sorrow was beating at her, profound and deep, slashing at her unprotected mind.

Lily closed her eyes for a moment, worried about Ryland Miller and his men. She wanted to check with Arly and make certain they had arrived and were safe within the thick walls of her home. Compassion welled up as she studied her chauffeur. John suddenly appeared fragile and looked his age. It caught her by surprise. She didn't want to lose John.

'He was my friend, Lily, my family. I knew your father when he was a boy. My father worked for his family. I think I was his only friend growing up in that house. His life was hell in that house. His parents and grandparents had been carrying on some sort of experiment to have a child of great intelligence. He was unloved, merely a product of breeding the right genes. His parents never talked to him unless it was to insist on his studying. He wasn't allowed to play sports or play with toys or even associate with other kids. They wanted a highly developed brain and everything he did even as a child was to that end. And when you'-he hesitated-'came along,' he improvised, 'Peter vowed he wouldn't be like his parents. I talked to him many times about his absentmindedness. I know it hurt you when he couldn't remember your important events.' He shook his head sadly. 'He did love you, Lily. For all his strange ways, he did love you very much.'

But Peter Whitney had been like his parents. Exactly like his parents. He had followed in their footsteps until something had opened his eyes. Lily put her arms around John as he got out of the car, hugging him. 'Does everyone in the household know I'm not his biological daughter?'

John Brimslow stiffened, jerked back to glare down at her. 'Who told you that?'

'He did,' she said. 'In a letter.'

He passed his hand over his face, then gripped her arms. 'You were everything to Peter.' He cleared his throat. 'And to me. To all of us. You brought sunshine to us, Lily. Rosa could never have children. Arly dated a multitude of women but he never could tolerate anyone's company but his own for very long. We're a family of misfits, Lily. You've always known about me, I never hid who I am from you. We built the family around you.'

Lily smiled at him, grateful for his words. 'John, do you know how my father came to adopt me?'

John shifted uncomfortably. 'Your father went overseas. Some people might say he bought you, Lily, I don't know how much money was involved, but does that matter now? You didn't have a family and neither did we.'

They walked together through the entrance hall leading from the garage to the house, Lily's hand tucked in the crook of John's arm, as he continued, ' Rosa was young back then, she barely spoke English, but she was a nurse and she needed a job to stay in the country. Peter snapped her up as your nanny and eventually she ran the house for us.' He grinned at her. 'She frowned on my lifestyle at first. I had already met Harold by then and we were life partners. Peter never judged me, but Rosa was afraid I would somehow damage you with my perversions.'

'John!' Lily protested. 'She has never, ever indicated in any way, by word or action, that she disapproved of you. Rosa speaks very highly and affectionately of you.'

'That was in the old days when you were just a little thing. She's come to accept me and she nursed Harold devotedly at the end. I don't know what I would have done without her.' He patted her hand. 'Or you, Lily. I'll never forget you standing next to me at the grave site with your arm around my waist and sobbing right along with me.'

'I loved Harold, John. He was as much a part of our family as you and Rosa and Arly. I still miss him, and I know you do too.' She stopped walking just outside the kitchen where she knew Rosa was waiting for her. 'Have you had a physical recently? I want you to rest and take very good care of yourself. I can't afford to lose anyone else in my family.'

He lifted her chin and brushed a kiss over the top of her head. 'I'd like you to remember how important you are to us, Lily. You have enough money and a beautiful home, you never have to work if you don't want to. Don't get into whatever Peter was into. I know he was more distracted than usual those last few weeks.'

Rosa burst through the kitchen door and flung her arms around Lily. To Lily's horror, she was sobbing. 'I paged you over and over, Lily. Why didn't you call me? You didn't say you were going to be late and when I called Donovans they wouldn't tell me anything except there had been trouble.'

Lily held her close, astonished that the unflappable Rosa was so distressed over her being late. 'I left my pager in my locker. I'm really sorry, Rosa, I should have called you. It was so thoughtless of me.'

'The storm was so wild, I thought you must have had an accident.' Rosa clung to her, alternating between hugging and patting Lily's back.

'Didn't Arly tell you I asked him to send John for me?' Lily looked up at her chauffeur for help. Rosa was prone to outbursts of temper, chasing people around her kitchen with tea towels, but she never wept as if her heart were breaking.

'When the police didn't call about an accident I was afraid someone had kidnapped you. Oh, Lily.' She turned away from the younger woman and covered her face with her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

John put his arm around her, frowning as he did so. ' Rosa, dear, you'll make yourself ill. Sit down, I'll make tea for you.' He helped her to the nearest chair.

Rosa put her head down, on the table and continued crying. John put on the kettle to boil water. Lily stood close to the older woman, puzzling over her behavior. ' Rosa, I'm perfectly fine. Don't cry anymore. I promise I'll be better about calling you.'

Rosa just shook her head. Lily sighed. 'John, perhaps I should speak to Rosa alone, do you mind?'

John kissed the top of Rosa 's head. 'Don't make yourself sick. It's been a difficult time for all of us.'

Lily waited until the kitchen door swung closed. 'What is it, Rosa? Tell me.'

Rosa continued to shake her head, refusing to look at Lily.

Lily took the time to make the tea, first heating the small pot with a little water from the kettle, then discarding the water before measuring out the tea leaves and pouring on the boiling water to brew. The simple ritual cleared her mind and allowed it to work as it preferred, coming at the puzzle from various angles. She waited for the worst of the storm of tears to pass before placing a teacup in front of Rosa. All the time her mind was working, putting together the fact that Rosa was a nurse and Peter Whitney had brought her into the country.

'Does this have anything to do with the fact that you were my nurse when my father brought me here with all those other little girls?' She asked the question very softly, without inflection, not wanting to sound accusing…

Rosa cried out and stared at Lily in shock. There was guilt in the depths of her eyes. Guilt and sorrow and remorse. 'I should never have agreed to do it. I had nowhere to go, Lily, and I loved you so much. I couldn't have children of my own. You have been my daughter.'

Lily sat down abruptly. 'Why didn't you ever tell me about my father, Rosa? Why didn't you tell me about that horrible room and all those other poor little girls?'

Rosa looked around in fear. 'Ssh, never speak of such things. No one can ever know about that room or those poor children. Dr. Whitney should never have told you. It was wrong. He came to see that and he tried to find those girls good homes. What he did was evil, unnatural. His eyes were opened when you were nearly killed.'

Lily took a cautious sip of tea. Rosa obviously believed Lily's father had told her everything. 'My leg,' she said, as she set the cup in the saucer. 'I had so many nightmares and Dad would never tell me.'

'It was a terrible accident, Lily. Your father was devastated. He promised me he would never make you do anything like that again.' Rosa was whispering, obviously fearful of being overheard.

'Did John know about the other girls? Did he know about the experiment?' Lily couldn't look at the woman who had raised her. Couldn't look at the tearstained face, which plainly told her there was so much more she didn't want to hear.

'Oh no, Lily,' Rosa protested. 'He would have beat Peter within an inch of his life and then he would have quit. Peter needed John to keep him human. Your father only had a few people he allowed into his world. John was a big part of that world. They were boyhood friends and John never minded Peter's eccentric ways.'

Lily was watching Rosa 's face closely. 'Why are you so upset, Rosa? Tell me. All of this was a long time ago. I