'I was there. Remember? I was part of the team. While Rachel and Gordon conducted other interviews I had my own little sit-down with William. From what he was willing to say it was not difficult for me to identify Beltran. Then I waited for Gladden to act once he was set free. I knew he'd act out. It was in his nature. I know about that. And so I used him as cover. I knew that if one day my work was discovered, the evidence would lead to him.'
'And the PTL Network?'
'We're talking too much, Jack. I have work to do here.'
Without taking his eyes off me he stooped to the floor, picked up and then emptied the pillowcase. He reached down and felt around in my belongings, his eyes always on me. Unsatisfied, he did the same with my computer bag, until he came up with the vial of pills I had gotten at the hospital. He glanced down quickly at the label, read it and looked back at me with a smile.
'Tylenol with codeine,' he said and smiled. 'This is going to work out nicely. Take one, Jack. Take two, in fact.'
He tossed the vial to me and I instinctively caught it.
'I can't,' I said. 'I took one a couple hours ago. I can't take any for another two hours.'
'Take two, Jack. Now.'
His voice had stayed in a steady monologue but the look in his eyes chilled me. I fumbled with the cap and finally managed to open the vial.
'I need water.'
'No water, Jack. Take the pills.'
I put two of the pills into my mouth and tried to act as if I had swallowed them as I moved them under my tongue.
'Okay.'
'Open wide, Jack.'
I did and he leaned forward to look but he never came close enough for me to take a swing at the gun. He stayed out of reach.
'Know what I think? I think they're under your tongue, Jack. But that's okay because they'll dissolve. It'll just take a little extra time. I've got the-'
There was another creaking sound and he looked around but then quickly back at me.
'I've got the time.'
'You wrote those PTL files. You're the Eidolon.'
'Yes, I am the Eidolon, thank you. And to answer your earlier questions, I learned of the PTL board from Beltran. He was kind enough to be on-line the night I paid my visit to him. So I took his place on the net, so to speak. I used his passwords and later had the systems operator change them to Edgar and Perry. I'm afraid Mr. Gomble never knew that he had a… fox in the henhouse, to use your turn of phrase.'
I looked at the mirror to my right and in it I could see the reflection of the Valley lights behind me. All those lights, all those people, I thought, and no one to see or help me. I felt the shudder of fear move through me, stronger.
'You have to relax, Jack,' Backus said in a calming monotone. 'That's the key. Are you feeling the codeine yet?'
The pills had broken up under my tongue and filled my mouth with an acrid taste.
'What are you going to do to me?'
'I'm going to do for you what I did for all of them. You wanted to know about the Poet? You are going to know all there is to know. Everything. Firsthand knowledge, Jack. You see, you are the choice. Remember what the fax said? The choice has been made, he's in my sights. That was you, Jack. All along.'
'Backus, you sick fuck! You-'
My outburst jarred some of the debris loose in my mouth and I swallowed it before I could stop. Backus, seemingly knowing what had happened, burst out laughing but then abruptly cut it off. He glared at me and I could see a dim light in his unblinking eyes. I realized then how mad he was and it dawned on me that because Rachel was not the one, the thing that I had believed was part of her misdirection might in actuality be part of the real Poet's killing pattern. The condoms, the sexual aspects. It could all be part of his killing program.
'What did you do to my brother?'
'That was between him and me. Personal.'
'Tell me.'
He exhaled.
'Nothing, Jack. Nothing. He was the one who wouldn't go along with the program. He was my one failure. But now I have the closest thing to a second chance. I won't fail this time.'
I looked down at the ground. I could feel the effects of the painkillers beginning to move through me. I squeezed my eyes shut and balled my fists but it was too late. The poison was in my blood.
'There's nothing you can do,' Backus said. 'Just relax, Jack, let it take you. Soon it will all be over.'
'You're not going to get away. There's no way Rachel's not going to see this for what it was.'
'You know, Jack, I think you are one hundred percent correct. She'll know. She may already. That's why I'm leaving after this. You are the last chore on my list, then I take my leave.'
I didn't get it.
'Leaving?'
'I'm sure Rachel already has her suspicions. That's why I've had to keep sending her to Florida. But it's only a temporary deflection. Soon enough she'll know. That's why it's time to shed the skin and move on. I've got to be me, Jack.'
His face lit up with the last line. I thought he was about to sing it but he didn't.
'How's it feeling now, Jack? A little light-headed?'
I didn't reply but he knew the answer was yes. I felt like I was beginning to slip into a void of darkness, a boat going over the falls. All the while Backus just watched, talking in his calm monotone, using my name often.
'Let it work itself through you, Jack. Just enjoy these moments. Think about your brother. Think about what you are going to say to him. I think you should tell him what a great investigator you turned out to be. Two in the family, that's something. Think of Sean's face. Smiling. Smiling at you, Jack. Now let your eyes close until you can see him. Go ahead. Nothing's going to happen. You're safe, Jack.'
I couldn't help it. My eyelids were drooping. I tried to look away from him. I stared at the lights in the mirror but the fatigue still grabbed me and took me under. I closed my eyes.
'That's good, Jack. Excellent. Do you see Sean now?'
I nodded, then I felt his hand on my left wrist. He moved it onto the arm of the chair. Then he did the same with my right arm.
'Perfect, Jack. You're a wonderful subject. So cooperative. Now I don't want you to feel any pain. No pain, Jack. No matter what happens here, you will not feel any pain, do you understand that?'
'Yes,' I said.
'I don't want you to move, Jack. In fact, Jack, you cannot move. Your arms are like dead weights. You cannot move them. Isn't that right?'
'Yes,' I said.
My eyes were still closed and my chin was resting on my chest but I was totally aware of my surroundings. It was as if my mind and body had separated. It was as if I was looking down from above at myself in the chair.
'Open your eyes now, Jack.'
I did as I was told and saw Backus standing before me. His gun was holstered under his open jacket and in one hand he now held a long steel needle. This was my chance. The gun was in the holster but I could not move from the chair or reach out to him. My mind could no longer send messages to my body. I sat motionless and could only watch as he matter-of-factly pressed the point of the needle into my unbandaged palm. He repeated the procedure with two of my fingers. I made no move to stop it.
'That's good, Jack. I think you are ready for me now. Remember, arms like dead weights. You just can't move them no matter how much you want to. You can't speak, no matter how much you want to. But keep your eyes open, Jack, you don't want to miss this.'
He stepped back and looked at me with an appraising look.
'Who's best now, Jack?' he asked. 'Who's the better man? Who has won and who has lost?'
