The nowhere job that ruined my feet.
SPANG!
The cat Russ left me.
SPANG!
The bad guys chasing me around.
SPANG!
Mom and Dad scared and confused.
SPANG!
The friends who have died.
SPANG!
Been murdered.
SPANG!
The friend I have murdered.
SPANG!
All because I’ve spent my time waiting for things to work out for the best.
SPANG!
Like I fucking deserve it or something.
SPANG!
SPANG!
SPANG!
SPANG!
SPANG!
And something is certain.
The past is over. My life will never be what it was. And considering what I’ve made of my life so far, that may not be such a bad thing after all. It’s time to stop hoping things are going to work out and start giving myself a chance to get out of this alive. Because I’m tired of being everybody’s stupid fucking patsy. It’s 11:00A.M. and I have a friend to see back in town.
SPANG!
I get off the N train at 8th and Broadway. The streets are filling now with shoppers andbrunchers. I duck my head down, walk along the edge of the sidewalk and mutter to myself. People stay out of my way and make a point of avoiding eye contact in case I might ask for change or help of any kind.
On 9th Street I stop in front of an old tenement building, just around the corner from Sixth Avenue. I could buzz his apartment, but he might freak and call the cops. So I’m gonna have to try something else. I walk up the steps to the intercom box. There are four apartments on the top floor. I push the button for the first one, wait,get no answer. I push the second one.
–
– Uh…
–
– Uh,
–
–
–
Fucking French classes.I push the third button.
– Yes?
– UPS.
– UPS?
– Yeah.
– You guys deliver on Sunday?
Shit.
– Sure, seven days a week.
– Wow, never knew that.
– Twenty-four, seven.
– Wow.
– So you want to buzz me in?
– What is it?
Uh.
– It’s a box, how do I know what it is?
– Well, who’s it.
– Look, you got a package. You want it, buzz me in.
BUZZZZ.
I run up the stairs to the second floor and the apartment at the end of the hall. I knock loudly on the door. I hear a door open up on the top floor. I knock again and I hear someone moving around inside the apartment. Upstairs, the guy is waiting for his package.
– Hey, UPS?You down there?
– Comin’ up.
I knock again.A sleepy voice from inside.
– Yeah. Hang on.
Tim opens the door a crack and looks out. When he sees me his face goes pale and he tries to slam the door shut, but I’ve already got my foot jammed in the opening.
– Let me in, Tim.
– Oh, fuck. Fuck.
