male asshole telling me every two minutes how I fucked up.”
Bosch knew what she was feeling. Every cop in a uniform went through it. You wade through the cesspool every day and soon it seems that that is all there is. An abyss. It was why he could never go back to working patrol. Patrol was a Band-Aid on a bullet hole.
“Did you think it would be different? When you were in the academy, I mean.”
“I don’t know what I thought. I just don’t know if I can make it through to a point where I think I’m making any difference.”
“I think you can. The first couple years are tough. But you dig in and you start seeing the long view. You pick your battles and you pick your path. You’ll do all right.”
He didn’t feel confident giving her the rah-rah speech. He had gone through long stretches of indecision about himself and his choices. Telling her to stick it out made him feel a little false.
“Let’s talk about something else,” she said.
“Fine with me,” he said.
He took a long drink from his glass, trying to think of how to turn the conversation in another direction. He put his glass down, turned and smiled at her.
“So there you were, hiking in the Andes and you said to yourself, ‘Gee, I wanna be a cop.’ ”
She laughed, seemingly shaking off the blues of her earlier comments.
“Not quite like that. And I’ve never been in the Andes.”
“Well, what about the rich, full life you lived before putting on the badge? You said you were a world traveler.”
“Never made it to South America.”
“Is that where the Andes are? All this time I thought they were in Florida.”
She laughed again and Bosch felt good about successfully changing the subject. He liked looking at her teeth when she laughed. They were just a little bit crooked and in a way that made them perfect.
“So seriously, what did you do?”
She turned in the stool so they were shoulder to shoulder, looking at each other in the mirror behind all the colored bottles lined along the back wall of the bar.
“Oh, I was a lawyer for a while-not a defense lawyer, so don’t get excited. Civil law. Then I realized that was bullshit and quit and just started traveling. I worked along the way. I made pottery in Venice, Italy. I was a horse guide in the Swiss Alps for a while. I was cook on a day-trip tourist boat in Hawaii. I did other things and I just saw a lot of the world-except for the Andes. Then I came home.”
“To L.A.?”
“Born and raised. You?”
“Same. Queen of Angels.”
“Cedars.”
She held out her glass and they clinked.
“To the few, the proud, the brave,” she said.
Bosch finished off his glass and poured in the contents of his sidecar. He was way ahead of Brasher but didn’t care. He was feeling relaxed. It was good to forget about things for a while. It was good to be with somebody not directly related to the case.
“Born at Cedars, huh?” he asked. “Where’d you grow up?”
“Don’t laugh. Bel Air.”
“Bel Air? I guess somebody’s daddy isn’t too happy about her joining the cops.”
“Especially since his was the law firm she walked out of one day and wasn’t heard from for two years.”
Bosch smiled and raised his glass. She clicked hers off it.
“Brave girl.”
After they put their glasses down, she said, “Let’s stop all the questions.”
“Okay,” Bosch said. “And do what?”
“Just take me home, Harry. To your place.”
He paused for a moment, looking at her shiny blue eyes. Things were moving lightning fast, greased on the smooth runners of alcohol. But that was often the way it was between cops, between people who felt they were part of a closed society, who lived by their instincts and went to work each day knowing that how they made their living could kill them.
“Yeah,” he finally said, “I was just thinking the same thing.”
He leaned over and kissed her on the mouth.
Chapter 11
JULIA Brasher stood in the living room of Bosch’s house and looked at the CDs stored in the racks next to the stereo.
“I love jazz.”
Bosch was in the kitchen. He smiled when he heard her say it. He finished pouring the two martinis out of a shaker and came out to the living room and handed her a glass.
“Who do you like?”
“Ummm, lately Bill Evans.”
Bosch nodded, went to the rack and came up with Kind of Blue. He loaded it into the stereo.
“Bill and Miles,” he said. “Not to mention Coltrane and a few other guys. Nothing better.”
As the music began he picked up his martini and she came over and tapped it with her glass. Rather than drink, they kissed each other. She started laughing halfway through the kiss.
“What?” he said.
“Nothing. I’m just feeling reckless. And happy.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I think it was you giving me the flashlight.”
Bosch was puzzled.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, it’s so phallic.”
The look on Bosch’s face made her laugh again and she spilled some of her drink on the floor.
Later, when she was lying face down on his bed, Bosch was tracing the outline of the flaming sun tattooed on the small of her back and thinking about how comfortable and yet strange she felt to him. He knew almost nothing about her. Like the tattoo, there seemed to be a surprise from every angle of view he had on her.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
“Nothing. Just wondering about the guy who got to put this on your back. I wish it had been me, I guess.”
“How come?”
“Because there will always be a piece of him with you.”
She turned on her side, revealing her breasts and her smile. Her hair was out of its braid and down around her shoulders. He liked that, too. She reached up and pulled him down into a long kiss. Then she said, “That’s the nicest thing that’s been said to me in a long time.”
He put his head down on her pillow. He could smell the sweet scent of perfume and sex and sweat.
“You don’t have any pictures on your walls,” she said. “Photos, I mean.”
He shrugged his shoulders.
She turned over so her back was to him. He reached under her arm and cupped one of her breasts and pulled her back into him.
“Can you stay till the morning?” he asked.
“Well… my husband will probably wonder where I am, but I guess I could call him.”
Bosch froze. Then she started laughing.
“Don’t scare me like that.”
“Well, you never even asked me if I was involved with anyone.”
