“TAKE OFF YOUR TOP,” he said. “You must do the breast circles. That will help clarify and calm your yin energy.”
Tracy didn’t want to hesitate—she’d made her decision—but doubt still made her hands tremble. She looked into Mr. Gao’s eyes—a virtual stranger—and saw no softening in his expression. He merely challenged her to carry through.
She did. She stripped off her T-shirt. She hadn’t even put on a bra since the very idea had felt too confining. And now she breathed deeply. She let her lungs expand, lifted her breasts, and tried to be completely at ease with being half-naked in her kitchen across from an enigmatic stranger.
“We will begin with your breath.”
When he spoke, his voice sounded absolutely calm, even a little bored. But when she looked into his eyes, she knew he was far from serene. His gaze held hers with laser-point intensity, and she shuddered in reaction.
“Place your fingers near your nipples. Use three fingers and spiral them outward.”
An image of Zoe and her young, perky breasts flashed through her mind. Tracy straightened her back and felt her bulbous size Cs jiggle. She had always thought she had good-looking breasts—assuming they were appropriately lifted and shaped in a fifty-dollar Victoria’s Secret bra. But hanging free, they tended to…well, hang.
She sneaked a glance at Mr. Gao and wondered what he thought of her most feminine attribute. She was a lot larger than most Chinese girls. Was that a good thing? His expression gave no clue to his thoughts, but his gaze was trained on her chest.
“Size and shape are unimportant,” he said as if reading her thoughts. “I have seen old breasts and young ones, large and small, wrinkled and removed, even ones sculpted by the most gifted plastic surgeons.” He lifted his eyes to hers. “Beauty, joy, and most especially feminine power is a thing of the mind and of the energy. Do you wish to hone yours?”
“Yes,” she answered immediately. Such was the power of his focused attention she would have said yes to anything.
“Then be done with this self-consciousness. It is tedious.”
She blinked, startled by his cold tone. Didn’t he understand how hard this was for her? How confusing? She closed her eyes and tried to focus, but her hands still trembled where she placed them on her breasts.
Then she heard him sigh—the sound filled with very male frustration. “Give me your hand,” he said.
She blinked, completely confused. Then before she could react, he grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled it toward him. He was sitting across from her on an old wooden kitchen chair. His legs were braced wide apart, the soft cotton fabric of his pants stretched taut.
“You are beautiful, Tracy. But you hide yourself under ugly clothing and an angry exterior.”
“I’m not angry!”
He kept talking as if she hadn’t spoken. “But I see you clearly, Tracy. I see your beauty and your sexuality.” He leaned forward, his grip on her wrist too strong for her to pull away. “I see you, Tracy.”
He pushed her hand against his groin. His knees had narrowed enough for his pants to grow slack, but what she touched was anything but soft. He was hard. Iron-rod hard. Nothing so sleek or cool as steel. He was rough, powerful and thick against her palm, radiating a heat that drew her ever closer.
She had never touched a man like this before. The closest she’d gotten was the dildo her friend had given her on her twenty-first birthday. This felt so solid, so alive. She wanted to grip him, to take that life into herself, to do all those things she’d heard about but never done.
Then Nathan pulled her hand away. “That is the last time you will touch me, Tracy.”
Her gaze leaped to his face. “What?”
“Now you know I desire you. Your tigress energy calls to my dragon power. But you are not strong enough to meet me on an equal plane.” His voice dropped to a softer tone. “You are not ready, Tracy, and you never will be if you continue to doubt yourself and me.”
Unexpected tears welled up in her eyes. “I don’t understand any of this.”
“There is no need to try,” he answered. “For the moment, simply breathe.” He returned her hand to her breast, adjusting her fingers to press the inside edge of each nipple. “Now begin to spiral. Inhale on the upstroke, exhale on the down.”
He guided her hands, drawing them up and around her breasts. Each circle expanded, moving ever wider until she ended all the way underneath, stroking ribs as much as breast. Then he took her hands back to the beginning.
“Start again. Feel your breath flow in and out. Let it follow the stroke of your hands.”
“What does this do?” she whispered.
“It disperses your clogging energies. You are circulating your chi, throwing off negative energy. With every exhale, it leaves. With every inhale you draw in pure, sweet truth.”
She cracked her eyes, part of her wondering if he had actually said that with a straight face. He caught her glance, of course, and arched his eyebrow at her. It was a challenge—clear as day—and yet all she could think was that he was a beautiful, beautiful man.
“This will make me ready for you? For us to meet on an equal plane?” She didn’t have to elaborate as to what plane she referred to. She meant the horizontal, in bed, having fabulous sex plane, and he knew it. God, when did she start having thoughts like that?
His expression sobered. “It is one step on the path. Tracy, you and I will never be together. I am your teacher. We will never partner. That will be for another dragon, selected by you and the temple from an eligible pool of candidates.”
She frowned. “A temple? There’s a temple that studies sex?”
“Yes, in Hong Kong. I grew up there.”
She wasn’t sure if he meant that he grew up in Hong Kong or in a temple that studied sex. But there wasn’t time to ask as he leaned forward onto his knees, pressing his words into her as firmly as she pressed her fingers against her skin.
“And this is not about having sex. This is about maximizing your possibilities. You have taken a huge step— your tigress is awake. Your possibilities are endless.”
“Except you’re not one of those possibilities,” she said, her heart sinking to her toes.
“No, I’m not.” Was there regret in his gaze? She couldn’t tell. And before she could ask, he touched the back of her wrist. “Think only of now. Breathe.”
She obeyed because she always did when he spoke in that tone. It was his dragon power, she supposed, and she couldn’t fight it. So she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate as she moved her hands in a rough spiral. Inhale. Exhale. The refrigerator kicked on with an audible hum. It didn’t sound right. Just how old was that thing anyway? Would she have to replace it soon? How was she going to afford that?
She was supposed to be thinking about her breasts. They were just breasts. She moved her hands again. Kinda felt like a nice breast exam. Her friend Mary had recently had a mammogram. Her experience had been awful.
She heard another sound. Or was that a puff of air across her face? She was surprised that she didn’t feel cold—
“Bring your thoughts back to here.”
Tracy jumped and spun around. He’d spoken right behind her ear. How had she not heard him move? He knelt behind her, his arms wrapped around the chair back and her body, all without touching her.
“How do you move so quietly?” she demanded.
“I walk with my chi.”
“Of course, Grasshopper,” she drawled, completely unnerved by his presence. Now that she knew he was there, she felt his heat enveloping her, his breath as it whispered through her hair and tickled her cheek. “Can you —”
“Shh. Close your eyes and begin again.” He placed his hands over hers.
“I thought we weren’t ever going to touch.” Her voice trembled. And those fireflies were buzzing back to life.
“You aren’t going to touch me again. I will have to touch you. Especially since you have no experience in
